Tag Archives: humor

Were You Sexy or Silly on Halloween?

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I am not a fan of Halloween, never have been really, it always felt silly dressing up. My earliest memory was when I was about 6 years old, I couldn’t decide whether to be Pregnant or a Princess so I was both, a Pregnant Princess! The neighbors didn’t seem surprised.

Since I can remember I have always gone with the silly Halloween costumes, but most women gravitate to the Sexy ones. You would think that after a few awkward experiences I would have nixed the silly and gone with sexy, but I just couldn’t seem to walk out the door in a ‘fantasy type’ ensemble.

Awkward experience #1) I had a crush on a boy all through Elementary School. When I went to a Halloween party he was there, we talked all night long, he eventually walked me to my car and kissed me! It was pure teenage bliss! I was floating on a crush cloud for hours afterwards. I couldn’t believe after all these years of crushing on him HE KISSED ME! When I arrived home I got into my PJ’s and went into the bathroom to wash my face. When I looked in the mirror I came crashing down off of my crush cloud…I WAS A CLOWN, FULL CLOWN MAKEUP smudged all over my face! I had gone all out that year, billowy outfit, clown hair, make up and nose. Tracy the Clown! I finally got to kiss my crush and I was a CLOWN! (picture is minus the nose and wig, that came off in lightening speed when I saw him from across the room!)

Each year it was the same thing, standing in the drug store looking for ideas at 6 pm the night of, and then staying home. I couldn’t even get it together with Bonnie in Hawaii where there were thousands of people all dressed up walking the streets all day and night. I wore a Duck nose and she wore a Lion nose, you don’t want to know what we walked around saying! Our Mothers would not be impressed!

Awkward experience #2) I went to a big Stargate (TV Series) Halloween party and left my costume until the last minute as usual, I was a really bad kick boxer. I wore my full sparring gear, headgear, mouth guard, GI (Gee), boxing gloves, foot and shin protector, chest pad and I applied make up that made me look bruised and beaten up. I arrived at the party and every girl there was in a rented costume from the Renaissance period or some other grand time! Each had their hair and make up done professionally and they all looked flawless. And then there was me…a beaten up boxer.

Halloween is the one night of the year you can get away with dressing like a hooker and not be judged, and I chose clowns and kick boxers? I laugh with my friend Kent about Halloween costumes women pick and how it doesn’t matter what they pick it’s the Sexy-version of… They might be a hobo but it’s a sexy hobo!

Women love being sexy and this is the night they can live out a fantasy in public and get away with it. If I did ever partake in the sexy-version of…I can’t remember it was so long ago! (that’s my standard answer to anything I wish not to recall)

Last year I went as a Female Cougar (wishful thinking) I wore my own little black dress, with a tail peeking out of the bottom, animal print nylons and ears, and fake eye lashes, which Bonnie said made me look cheap! Purrrrrrfect!

My Mom and Dad met on Halloween when they were 12 years old, so you would think me of all people would view Halloween as a romantic night. Maybe I need to rid myself of the humorous costumes and join the crowds of French Maids, Naughty School Girls and Sexy Hobos? What do you think Kent?

I had to laugh this Halloween night when my daughter changed her outfit numerous times before walking out the door, I’m not even sure what she was in the end? I know exactly how she felt! Preparation is of the utmost importance when it comes to Halloween costumes!

I hope your all enjoying your treats, don’t eat too many ladies they are 80 calories each! If I don’t stop now next years costume will be a no brainer, a Well Fed Cougar! This is what I could have been…could’a would’a should’a!

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Tracy Questions Her Maturity ~

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Have you ever seriously questioned your own maturity. We’ve all done things in our lives that have been followed by “What was I thinking?” I recently got an iMac and one of the applications on it is photo booth. If you have one I am sure you know where this is headed. (no pun intended)

This is how I spent the better part of the day when I was trying to do a serious video blog for our site and I just couldn’t do it! I kept hearing Bonnie’s voice in my head “you’re so serious, it’s just not the Tracy I know, do something funny to show me that it’s you” (that was a slightly edited version of what she really said) I hear a chicken gobbling clucking 🙂  Anne get your Kleenex out to wipe the pee off your cheeks this is wayyy more fun than Jib Jab!  (Anne taught us that ‘pee’ has the exact same chemical make up as ‘tears’) Oh, by the way I’m available! lol


That was just an example of what is to come on Tara Cronica’s side bar in the near future, so keep checking back for New Video Blogs from The Tara Team!

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Would you rather be a Mermaid or a Whale?

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TracyYou may have already seen this.   It was sent to me by a beautiful friend of mine, Laurie, and I wanted to share it with you!

Recently, in a large french city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym.   It said:

¨THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?¨

A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

mermaid or whale?To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans).  They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales.  They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp.  They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia . Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs.  They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don’t exist.  If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis.  Fish or human?  They don’t have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to mention how could they have sex?  Therefore they do not have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store? The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a coffee with my friends.  With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.  So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.  Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think,  Good gosh, look how smart I am.

I found humor in that, I hope you did too.  So Ladies on Thanksgiving weekend you and I are going to indulge with our families and friends and enjoy ourselves with absolutely no guilt what-so-ever!!  Gym Shmim!  Now go cut yourself a piece of that Pumpkin pie!

Tracy signiture

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What I find funny

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Yesterday I was reading the latest post I had written to ‘a really good friend of mine’ and he said to me “you need to write something funny'”  If  you know me, I am all about the funny, the laugh out loud, the guffaw!!  It is the number one quality I look for in a man.  Without laughter in my life I think I would seriously think of shooting myself.

I think,  in general, people have a hard time taking me seriously because of my quirky sense of humor and I almost always have a ridiculously large smile on my face.

Here are a few things I find funny.  ‘Why We Suck’ by Denis Leary. Now that’s funny !Denis Leary

This book is  “Part memoir, part self help tome but definitely a full-time funny assault on all the posers, politicians and pop culture icons who have sucked in public for far too long, this book is a call to arms for everyone who feels the way the good doctor does:  Skinny jeans are for skinny people.  Men will never change.  Not even into clean underwear”.

Denis warns you right from the get go that if you are a woman , you will soon be livid.  If you are a man, you are going to be filled with a burning rage.  This book is a parody, satire and simply pokes fun at a variety of different topic.

I love men who can confidently stand up and say exactly how they feel with no filter whatsoever!  That is freedom of speech!  I also love ‘Rescue Me’ the television series where Leary is co-creator, co-writer, producer as well as being the lead.  It’s brilliantly written.  You never really know what to expect. You can be laughing at the content one minute and crying the next.

If you’re not in the mood for a book then I recommend the movie “Burn after reading” with Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Frances McDormand.  Brad’s character is an 80’s personal trainer from a local gym.  I am an 80’s girl Brad Pittso it was a great flashback.  He’s not the gorgeous Brad Pitt we’re used to,  but as I said before, humor is the number one quality I look for in a man.  I laughed out loud in this movie.  I was glad it was a rental  so I could keep rewinding it and, seriously, I couldn’t stop laughing for days! You have to check it out !

So, although I don’t feel like writing anything funny at this particular moment in time,   I do have a gut laugh out loud almost everyday.  I think one of the most important things in life is that you’re able to laugh at yourself, not take anything too seriously, and remember this too will pass.  I have decided to just go with the flow and be true to my voice; what ever I am feeling is what you’ll be reading.

George & Brad

I know this picture isn’t funny, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do… ; )

Tracy

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