The Man Rules ~

I was working on a post about Taking Chances but I am not finished yet and I hate to be rushed so it’s sitting in the drafts file percolating. I am feeling dumb and cheerful today so we will just go with something light!

Men in general make me laugh. I like their honest and uncomplicated gender. Although they can sometimes be confusing, it’s usually only when I am being a ‘girl‘. With a little guidance from my man-friend I usually snap out of it and they start to make perfect sense again. I have always had a ton of male friends and think I relate to men concerning women quite often. I was sent this by a friend of mine and it made me giggle. My voice is in (RED).

The Man Rules

Men are NOT mind readers. (THANK GOD…giggle) Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down. (can you say urinal) Sports, its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. Crying is blackmail. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! (I totally agree!)

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. (my standard answer is “I can’t remember, it was sooooo long ago, I don’t remember what I had for breakfast yesterday!”)

If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. (NEVER point out your questionable bits to a man, they don’t see them especially when your NAKED!) If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one! You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. (Nothing worse than someone talking during a great show!)

Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. (ROFL’ing…say what?)

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. (that cracks me up) If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear. (This is the reason I love men, you know exactly where you stand with them as friends 24/7)

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really . Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Hockey. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! (unless you’re willing to spin that perfect mirror around, let it slide ladies!)

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don’t mind that? Its like camping! ~ The End…

Men are pretty basic creatures ladies. We all know Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Throw in a few from Uranus and it all balances out in the end. Regardless of where your man comes from, you know deep down you love and accept him for who he naturally is…no seriously! There really is no point in trying to change the male gender, just accept them for who they are and either Love’em, Lose’em or Leave’em! I choose Love’em!

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Go Canucks Go!

This is for you Lawrence! I am a woman of my word! Yes I lost a bet everyone! Great job Vancouver! Just to be clear I did not jump off the wagon, I have my seat reserved for next year!

 

Are you ready Vancouver? This is it! Tonight’s the night we will all sit at the edge of our seats when the puck is dropped at centre ice. Vancouver Canuck fans have been waiting in anticipation for this day and it’s finally here! The electricity in the air will not only be felt by those at Rogers Arena, it will be felt by everyone no matter where you watch the game. The city will come alive tonight! The hottest ticket in town!

I can’t imagine what is going through the players minds today except that tonight they will participate in the game of their lives. It’s all or nothing. Go big or go home empty handed! The Vancouver Canucks are playing in Game 7 of the 2011 Stanley Cup Final! Incredible! It’s what every hockey player dreams of. Good luck Boys! Live your dream tonight! I believe…

Be a Fan not a Fool tonight Vancouver!

I can’t remember off the top of my head who we are playing but I am craving honey on toast this morning! There couldn’t be a better band than U2 to play our theme song!

Okay Lawrence it all comes down to this…:)

One more for those who want to hear a great motivational speech by Al Pacino~


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Am I Missing the Style Gene?

I’ve always struggled with how to put an outfit together.  When I was very little my grandmother used to make outfits for me; often with matching hats (see below).  At 3 and 4 years old I looked very “put together”.  My mom also sewed some pretty snazzy outfits for me. (I’m laughing right now at myself for using the word snazzy – I sound like a throw back from the 1930’s or 40’s).  The point I’m trying to make is that without someone “dressing” me, I’m lost.

In my early teens I went to an all-girl’s high school in Australia and only wore uniforms.  Easy!  But when we moved back to Canada I suddenly had to figure out what teenage girls my age wore in this country.  I got it really wrong in the beginning.  My jeans were the skinny leg style but everyone else was wearing “Big Blues” which were so wide legged that your shoes disappeared entirely underneath them.  I was gangly and awkward with a funny accent.  The last thing I wanted was to stand out even more with a fashion faux pas!

So that was the beginning of my struggle with fashion.  I felt like I was a step behind and I’ve never fully trusted my sense of style from those days on.  While a part of me felt inclined to wear a little makeup and shave my legs, another side of me longed to climb trees and get dirty helping my grandfather build his latest project.

April 2010. I just removed a pretty necklace and bracelet, stepped out of my slender sandals, took off my blouse and skirt and slipped into my comfy-but-masculine men’s Lu Lu Lemon sweat pants and one of Johns t-shirts.  And suddenly it hit me.

I’m half girly-girl and half tomboy! But I’m not enough of either one to be comfortable going fully to one side of the fashion pendulum or the other.

I am a contradiction.  It suddenly makes sense.  I am a Gemini after all.  Even now, as I write this, I have one eye watching a hockey game.
Journaling/blogging = girly
Watching hockey = tomboyish
I love having nice clothes but I hate shopping. Contradiction!
I like pretty jewelery but I also like my Handyman work gloves.
(In case your mind is taking this further than necessary…I’ve always only had crushes on boys/men.)
Anyway, it suddenly makes sense to me why I’ve never felt comfortable choosing a fashion style.  I’m a bit of each on opposite ends of the spectrum.  (These Canucks really have got to stay out of the penalty box!…hmm time to paint my toenails…maybe pink this time…) See what I mean!!

I even married someone who often has me passing him tools or helping him carry heavy timbers around the yard, but who also loves to see me wearing a flowery summer dress.  (Not at the same time by the way…or maybe he would. Hmm.)

So what do I do with this new discovery of why I yam what I yam? Well I guess I’ll stop beating myself up over my lack of style and just accept the fact that I’m a little this and a little that all rolled into one.  My style may not always look right but it does always look like me.  🙂

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