Grad Reunion…

Bonnie chose the word ‘Memories’ for our header this month, beautiful job by the way Bon. I love when a new header goes up because it creates a fresh start each month and gives us a word to reflect on. Memories ~

Last weekend was our Grad Reunion so memories started flowing the moment Bonnie arrived in town on Friday afternoon. The annual came out and we sat and reacquainted ourselves with familiar faces that helped shape us into who we are today.

It doesn’t seem like that long ago that we were walking the halls of high school with all our friends but I guess it was, if you are the type of person who relates everything to time. You can’t avoid time…“time will tell, times a tickin, there’s no time like the present, I’m having the time of my life, it’s about time”…and so on. I personally hate the clock. It makes me feel rushed and reminds me of having a schedule. This weekend we stepped back in time to when none of us had real responsibilities.

We walked in slightly nervous as everyone was but soon realized that nothing that really mattered had changed. We had all grown and evolved but our cores had stayed the same. Time had just tweaked us a little. Some of us were in transition, happily married, sort of single, divorced, remarried for the 3rd time, finally married and although our circumstances were all different we were the same. We all wanted to reconnect in person with those who meant something to us a long time ago. A circle of friends were reunited making time for each other because that’s what friends do. Still after so many years there was warmth and support in the room. We could finally share who we had become with friends we knew, while we were searching for who we were. There were no competition, no chest puffing, no whispers, no sideways glances, it was nothing but smiles, handshakes, compliments, friendly eye contact, hugs and lots of kisses! Everyone genuinely wanted to be there.

“Time flies when you’re having fun” so I suppose I’ve had a lot of fun over the last 30 years. It certainly didn’t feel like that long ago once we entered the room!

If your clock is ticking slow, you need to make memories that are worth reliving. Bonnie and I did this weekend and it was just as fun as it was 30 years ago. Somethings never change…the after party ended up in the kitchen lasting all night long, and still it wasn’t enough time to spend catching up with great friends!

I loved seeing each and everyone of you that took the time to reconnect in person!

Thank you Tammy and Mike for making it all happen and Terry for the music, a party is not the same without the tunes, and Shirl for the fantastic after party it wouldn’t have been near enough time without it!

Love you all Class of ’81…

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Peer Pressure

peer pressureSchools Back and with that comes Peer Pressure!  When I think about the youth of the world I can’t help but think of those two words.

I was at a local track meet before summer and was inspired watching the athletes compete.  The look on their faces when they approached the finish line was what I enjoyed the most.  Such determination in each one of them.  All their hard work and discipline paid off.

During the track meet a group of 50-60 kids from the local high school walked across the field like they owned it while events were taking place. They headed for center field like it was their arena they were denied.  As they passed by all the parents, we heard them saying how excited they were to have come to watch a fight.  The mob quickly circled around a couple of guys who were about to be center stage when the principal and another teacher quickly diffused the situation.  Kudos’ to both of them for taking charge of such an enormous group of kids.  Unfortunately sometimes there is not always an adult near by to stop this kind of potential life changing mistake.  Young guys get all fired up and can’t control their hormones, they get lost in the moment, and because of peer pressure they lose complete control.

Some kids just haven’t got the confidence to make choices that will prevent the pressure from getting the better of them.  This lack of confidence can lead them into a compromising situation that they are not equipped to deal with, which could potentially change their life.

I think peer pressure is the underlying reason for most altercations between young guys or boys.  I believe fighting should be for one purpose and one purpose only, self defense.  My Dad trained for years in Kyokushin Karate (full contact karate), Scott achieved his Black belt through discipline and hard work and Bonnie and I trained in kickboxing together for several years, so I have a long history of being around controlled sparring.  Confidence is a very empowering feeling.  At some point in your life you may need to fight, it’s important to know how to protect yourself, but fighting today is not what it used to be.  The fight you participate in today may be the end of your life two weeks later because of retaliation.

Why has it become acceptable to stand by and watch?  If no one watched, the behavior would simply not happen.  My Dad gave me advice as a teen that always stayed with me, even today.  “If you are ever somewhere you don’t want to be, or someone makes you feel uncomfortable, leave!” It’s basically another way to use your voice. Walking away makes a statement too.

I think as parents we need to take some responsibility in the actions of our kids.  We need to know where are kids are and who they spend time with.  They need to know that they matter and that they can talk to us about absolutely anything.  Communication is key in keeping our kids safe and out of harms way.  Sometimes we let our kids down when they really need us.  We are there for them throughout elementary school but just drop them at the doors of high school and assume they don’t need us anymore, when in fact they need us even more.  We need to be there for our kids especially when they are trying to find their place in life.

If you would like more information on how to deal with peer pressure visit the link below.

Dealing with Peer PressureTracy

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Your Best Friend from High School (the one who secretly made out with the guy YOU said you liked) Just Called. What Do You Do?

jacquie janzen yeeJacquie lays it on the line…

I’m a different person than the one who graduated years ago.  I can only assume that most of the women I went to school with have changed a bit, too.  I got a call about a year ago from someone who thought they owed me an apology but when I thought about it I realized they didn’t at all.   I was able to have a great conversation with this person about what’s been going on over the last few years and we’ve had some great laughs.  If I had carried a grudge I would have missed the opportunity to enjoy this fun friendship.

People aren’t angels.  We make mistakes and we learn…hopefully.  I think you have to look at the whole picture and decide if the friendship is worth salvaging.  Sometimes it’s just better leaving well enough alone.   I’m a fixer and so I like neat endings…or beginnings.  I believe in personal growth and change.  Is that foolish?  Maybe, maybe not.

Girls, please let me know what you think!

Bonnie Johnson's PostBonnie doesn’t hold back…

Well my “best friend” from high school was/is Tracy and she would never ever have crossed that line.  I never worried about that for one minute, but there was this one girl…

She wasn’t really even a friend.  Just someone I knew to smile at and say hi to when passing her in the hall.  Here’s the story.  I went to Australia with my family for a month.  I believe it was around Christmas time in our grad year.  While I was away, my boyfriend, my first love, went to a party and made out with this girl from school.  He knew I’d find out about it…it was high school after all, so he confessed as soon as I saw him.  I then confessed about making out with a guy I met in Australia at that point.  17 year old hormones!  (Making out consisted of kissing and a little groping only by the way.)  Anyway, we were both devastated but eventually forgave each other.  The funny thing is, I never forgave that girl.  If you are wondering, yes, I remember her name.  I remember it very well.  I’m not going to say it though because some of you know her.  Recently on Facebook I received one of those messages that says  “so and so is now friends with so and so and thinks you may also know so and so and wish to be friends with them too”.  I don’t think so!!  She made out with my boyfriend 28 years ago and I haven’t forgotten!  I know it’s silly but I don’t care.  It’s not like I really ever think about the incident or even the girl but if her name ever does come up I still bristle.

It’s like she broke the unwritten law of sisterhood.  You just don’t cross that line…ever.  I might forgive her one day…nah!

TracyTracy Gets Real…

If it was “secretly” how do I know ?  I will assume I found out then?  I didn’t have any issues like this with girlfriends in High School (that I am aware of) mostly because I hung out with guys and also because I was not the least bit competitive amongst my friends.  Bonnie was/is my Best friend and real friends wouldn’t cross that line.  Kissing is usually a mutual connection with mutual consent.

I liked the guys I hung out with as friends so this wasn’t an issue that would have bothered me.  I have always thought that if some other girl/woman can ‘get’ my boyfriend or husband for that matter, he’s all yours !  Have at er!  When I think back about high school I have a hard enough time remembering who everyone was never mind what they did!  I can’t think of one person who I wouldn’t be able to talk to openly and enjoy catching up with today.   Boring I know.  Grad 81 !

IMG_1812 (Small)Rob Thompson, Cheater, Bonnie, Tracy, Kent Holden

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