50 Shades of Grey ~ Mommy Porn?

I am not generally a follower, more of a leader but I couldn’t resist finding out what all the fuss was about so I caved and bought the trilogy ‘50 Shades of Grey’. Everywhere I turn I hear someone say something about this book! A writer man-friend of mine suggested I start reading erotic romance novels if that is what I aspire to write more of, so I am. Anything for research…right? I have never even picked up a Harlequin Romance Novel before so I’m a virgin when it comes to reading romance. I’d rather be living it or writing about it than reading it. I did however find a few forum magazines when I was younger and found it hard to put those down.

I have to admit that’s where I find my flow in writing. I am naturally in my element when my romantic imagination joins my sensual erotic soul. I love the style of writing that leaves your loins aching for more, heart racing, imagination piqued and hormones surging!

I am not that far into the first book but I must say it’s intrigued me, I am not exactly sure what to expect, I haven’t got to the ‘play-room’ yet. I am secretly hoping their romance takes on a life of its own, being a true romantic myself. I also sense there is a darker erotic side to the story having heard there is a fair amount of S & M in the book.

As we read erotic sensual words, we feel the wash of sensuality flow over us. The look in our eyes change. We surrender to seduction. It’s a feeling many women don’t experience often enough in my opinion. I live for that feeling, thrive on it, I may even be addicted to it. It’s an obsession for sure. If there was an AA for this type of addiction I’d tell them to go to hell! My mind naturally plays with elements of love and sexuality daily, it’s a big part of who I am.

Lets face it a good number of relationships border on boring, we get too comfortable, so we look elsewhere to find a thrill. Taboo attracts us, well some of us. Knowing a man wants you is sometimes the only thing we need to get our heart racing. The feeling of lust and desire can be overwhelming! As for those comfortable souls who yearn for a Christian Grey to walk through their doors to titillate them, a novel is a much better safer place to look than between the sheets of a bed that doesn’t belong to you. Just sayin….

Hallelujah for erotic sensual romantic novels and writers such as E.L James that want to take us by the hand and lead us into temptation! Tempt me, tease me…leave me wanting more! Just don’t try to take my power as a woman away…cause I won’t go down without a fight!

Mommy porn? I like to think about it as story time that brings out the woman in all of us. Husbands and partners need not worry, we still want you…more than ever! You have probably noticed if your wife or partner is reading one of these books. I guess the question is “Who isn’t reading one of these books?”

Married women who are reading erotic romance are safe, husbands are in heaven with their wives new found libido, but what about the heat that has washed over single women? We’re gonna start to do things we aren’t proud of! I am considered getting a pool-boy but remembered I don’t have a pool. My girlfriend Alison F told me she was getting a pool-boy. (she’s reading the book too) Mind you she has a pool and lives back East where it’s realllllly humid right now. I’m thinking one of those little kiddie pools with the elephant trunk that spouts water is technically a pool…right? I think I’ll ask the sales clerk what isle the pool-boys are down, or if it comes with one? Is he in the box? Do I have to pay extra? Surely that trunk needs cleaning so there’s not  a build up of algae in it?

Reading Mommy-porn does crazy things to a woman’s libido! Trust me! If you see a grown woman humping the leg of a crossing guard, or standing dangerously close to a jack hammer, just leave her be, she’s probably reading the book. This too will pass!

Check out Saturday Night Lives Parody of 50 Shades of Grey. (click the link) funny!

And here is a giggle…Ellen has always cracked me up!

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Happy Valentine’s Day…or not!

Valentine’s Day to the hopeless romantic is yet another day put aside to bathe in love. Subtle reminders are everywhere we look for weeks in advance. The anticipation of the day is overwhelming, giving us butterflies of what might transpire during the day. We will be showered with a gorgeous bouquet of fragrant flowers, hand written poetry, decedent chocolates, romantic candle lit dinner, and if we’re really lucky maybe a heart shaped pendent encrusted with diamonds!

If we live in a Harlequin Romance novel...(insert record scratching sound here) Hang on…reality check ~

Be honest, you’re annoyed by all the red heart decorations that got put up almost the same day the red Christmas ones came down. They’re just a reminder that you’re alone on a day meant for love. You don’t get flowers any other time of the year and now BECAUSE IT IS Valentine’s day and everyone looks at this day, not as a day to ‘express or find love’, but as a GINORMOUS marketing ploy to guilt your future love into buying you a 100 dollar bouquet of flowers that the day before cost 12 bucks, so there is no hope in hell of getting any today! (deep breath, ya I know a HUGE run on sentence) If you do get chocolates they’re picked up last minute at Shoppers and go straight to your butt and thighs, that you just got slimmed back down after bingeing on holiday squares and baileys coffee. Poetry? Does that include post it notes? Need I go on. That might very well be a HUGE exaggeration meant sarcastically to paint a clear picture of the two opposing sides of belief in dear cupid! There are those who believe in the chubby little cherub and those who just ignore the stabbing pain when they get hit by his cute little arrow! Believers (that’s me) love even the thought of him, non believers swat at him like a mosquito when he nears.

Real romance isn’t a $7.00 Hallmark Card, or any of the material things I listed above, it’s having your handsome beyond belief male energy look deep into your melting eyes as he tells you he can’t live without you…sigh. I’m holding my breathe for just that!

I am poking fun today because Valentine’s Day is my birthday and so many people seem to have lost the point of it. Some boycott it even. I happen to love it because I love romance! So much in fact I created our ‘Heart Inspired Halo Pendant‘ on our Treasures Page! I am a hopeless romantic and really do believe in love, love at first sight, love beyond marriage, romantic love, any way you put it! If it involves love I’m in!

So handsome, don’t follow the masses and marketers, make Valentine’s Day your own! ‘I love you’ shouldn’t be thrown around so loosely, if you are in love, tell her so. Today isn’t the day a dutch oven will go over very well, it’s a little more special for some of us. I am hoping that cupid doesn’t fall into the same category as Santa and the Tooth Fairy! If just one fairy tale creature could be real, this is the one I’d pick.

OMG! Gasp! Someone please tell me this picture was photo-shopped!

Guys you might have to hand in your ‘man card‘ for this movie, but if you do I bet there’s a huge payoff! Take a look at the list of chicks in this flick and you might actually go willingly! It’s definitely on my list to see. The Cast is amazing ~ Julia Roberts, Ashton Kutcher, Bradley Cooper, Taylor Lautner, Taylor Swift, Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Jennifer Garner, Patrick Dempsey…win win!

Happy Valentine’s Day, I will now go eat some ‘snowball’ cupcakes from Big City Cupcakes that will hopefully send me into a sugar induced coma where my romantic fantasies all lay waiting. I hope I made you smile and think of love as it should be, real and raw and as simple as a few small meaningful words meant from the heart!

PS ~ Thanks Mom and Dad for sharing your love with one another so I was born on such a romantic day! You are my inspiration for true love!

Valentine’s Day the movie ~

Today would be a GREAT day for Canada to win a Gold Metal !! Go Canada Go!

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