Isn’t the beach a fun place to be!  There are certain areas of the beach that should be completely avoided if you’re looking for solitude or a quiet book read.  But if your like me and totally get off on people watching, smack dab in the center is where you want to plant yourself.  You just have to sit and they will come. 

The people, that is.   If you have more than a two foot radius around you it will inevitably be filled with someone similar to those you find yourself  beside on a long flight.  Those people LOVE me!   Forget the warm sun, sand, fresh air and water, bring me the people!  There’s a little something for everyone!

I spent the day at the beach basking in the sun, watching the kids search for treasures and listening to several vignettes going on around me.  Here are a few I experienced first hand.

There was a blonde woman with a guitar who I could have listened to all day but she only strummed for a short while.  What a great instrument to take to the beach!

There were two French guys who balanced rocks and sticks to make the West Coast version of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.  Loved what they contributed to their beach visit.

There were the loud talkers who annoyed just about the entire beach with their inane, meaningless conversations sitting right behind me.  I don’t remember hearing a pause the entire time they sat there.  For some reason they felt the need to do a play by play of what their kids were doing directly in front of them. “oh look he is picking up the shell, oh look he is touching the sand on the log, oh look he is looking at me looking at him“, confirmation to me of why you don’t marry your brother settle.  (I suppose some people are uncomfortable with silence)

Two pretty young girls showed up ready to meet singles.  I really have to agree with Denis Leary, skinny jeans are for skinny girls!  Why do young girls feel the need to wear jeans that are 7 sizes too small.  Sorry but I just don’t think this is being addressed enough because it’s everywhere I look.  I have always been fit but will admit I also know what it feels like to be a sausage in a casing that is too small on occasion.  It’s not comfortable!  Where does the message that is sent to their brain that this is painful get lost.  There has to be millions of them just floating around!  We all know it doesn’t feel good so it must be because they think it looks good?  Honestly if they wore the right size trousers they would look great!  Hmmmm…Maybe it’s that their shirt is just too short?

I saw a Mother of twins lose it.  By the time she got one ready to leave and lifted up over a log the other one wiggled away from her.   About two minutes into this cat and mouse game her switch flipped.  Her voice did that monster thing where it completely changed!  In slow motion, face slightly distorted, she did the unmentionable!!  She came unglued big time!  “Billleeeee commmmme heeeeeeere”.  You couldn’t help but stop what you were doing and look hoping to catch a glimpse of Ogopogo!  Billy had bolted for the ice-cream shop down the street! 

This poor Mom had absolutely no control right from the start.  I, being a seasoned pro of older children who NEVER did that EVER,  somehow found humor in the Monster voice.  I am embarrassed to say I never even looked up to see if she got hold of the twins because, well, because.  Not the right answer?  My kids never tried to bolt and if they had I would have done what worked with the dog and hid close by until they panicked and realized they, too, needed to know where I was.  Aha!  That’s why they stick so close 10 years later!  So yeah, I just couldn’t relate.  The woman’s husband was somewhere ( I think he bolted to get the car), I am sure he came back, but I am positive he look his sweet time.

The beach is all about the below average hamburger and fries, ice-cream and getting sand in your pink parts. It’s a package deal for me.  I wouldn’t change a thing.  I like all of these people deep down, otherwise I would sit down at the end where no one bothers to walk.