Svaha Spirit Series: Ignite Your Light!

I spent the entire weekend watching young girls ignite their light. I get goose bumps every time I watch my daughters dance studio perform in front of a full auditorium. They have all come so far over the years. It gives me shivers to see such confidence. My daughter started out being the little girl who had to watch everyone else to make sure she was doing the right move. This year she didn’t just dance, she rocked it! Her confidence allowed her to feel the music and dance like no one was watching!

This is the song she listens to on our way to dance competitions. She told me she likes it because it inspires you to be yourself. She was brighter than the moon!

I am so proud of you and all your friends for being yourselves. You’re amazing just the way you are! xo


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He’s Just Not That Into You!!!!

TracyWhile at the school talent show last week I noticed something that I couldn’t stop thinking about. This usually means a post is in the air.  It seemed to me that most of the girls who performed did it to songs that were directed towards boys in such a way that they were pining for them.  They had broken hearts and longed for their attention. Each song was somehow related to wanting our male counterpart to be into us. Maybe it is programming after all!  Conditioning at it’s best. How could we not continue down this path when we started on it at such an early age.

I watched the movie ‘He’s just not that into you’ and I had mixed feelings about it. I liked the fact that Jennifer Aniston’s character ‘Beth’ finally realized that Ben Affleck (Neil) didn’t need to marry her to be like a husband, but there were also parts that bothered me. Why are we afraid to admit that he is just not that into us. We have all consoled our friends with reasons why he hasn’t called or why our relationship ended when it may be as simple as there was no connection. Is that so hard to hear? Why do we feel we need to assess blame to justify the end of intimacy between two people.  Maybe it’s just the intimate part of the relationship that has run it’s course.

My question is “If he is just not that into you, why do you really care?” What’s wrong with just being honest so both people can move on without awkwardness. I think we care because he said no to us first. Our feelings get hurt because we take it personally that someone didn’t like us. Chances are we were going to say no eventually, but he just beat us to the punch.

Why not just be honest. If your not feeling it, say so. You could high five each other and move on and remain friends. Honestly you don’t want to date someone who isn’t really feeling the connection, do you?  That is just asking for a break-up down the road which gets messier as time goes by. It’s a hard pill to swallow when you think you have a connection with someone and it’s not reciprocated. I’ve been dumped on occasion, but there were very few I was bothered by, however, there was one I obsessed over for whatever reason. When looking back he was just a nightmare so I chalked it up to be my Karma for all the guys I just wasn’t that into and perhaps didn’t deal with honestly. Lesson learned!

I think women romanticize too much about men (I know I do being a hopeless romantic) I know for myself if it’s the man who is a challenge that drives me crazy, that intrigues me more. If we got rid of our ego’s it would be much easier. That’s why it’s so hard to remain friends…ego! No one really wants to hear the words, “I like you, just not that much.”

We need to stop sugar coating what men say to us and start hearing the truth behind their words. If a man says “I’m really gonna miss you” while in the throws of passionate love making, he’s NOT going on a holiday! Or you hear “hey buddy” or “dude” when he calls, chances are your not heading towards marriage. Maybe we make it difficult for men to be honest because we have that dreamy look in our eyes when they try to say what they feel. Just keep in mind it’s not really all that bad if someone isn’t really that into you. Put it in perspective!  There is always another bus coming as my Nana used to say !

Tracy

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The Bachelor ~ Cut the guy some slack!

I went to bed really late last night and I will admit I look really tired this morning.  So if you’re in my circle of friends …zip it !  I started to panic at around 1 o’clock in the morning.  All I could think about was Jacquie’s post on how horrible is it to hear your friends say you look tired.

I get obsessed with our website and time just disappears right in front of my eyes.  Even while writing this post I casually looked down at the clock on my computer screen and realized it was 12:06 pm.  Lunch had started at school and both my kids didn’t have one.  Well, it’s not like either of them have ever missed a meal.  Bad Mommy!

So while you’re reading this keep in mind I’ve had very little sleep, a lot of caffeine and I’m admitting I want to live in a fairy tale or fantasy world which involves love, romance and happy endings!
Now onto the Bachelor!  Most women this morning think Jason (the bachelor) is just a jerk, to put it mildly!  I have to say I‘m not really with you on that one.  This is the way I see it.

Jason Mesnick 'The Bachelor'When Jason first went through this process everyone LOVED the guy.  He was a charismatic, handsome, well built single Dad looking for love.  He had his heart broken by DeAnna Pappas( blink blink, inside joke) who came back to the show for one reason and one reason only.  Ratings!!  I do think this year’s group of gals was the best so far in the history of the show.  Having the addition of a child really changed the dynamic of the show and the kind of girls who signed up.
Jason came back and put his heart right back on his sleeve.  He had hope that the second time around would find him love and a family for himself and Ty.  Is that really so bad?  Maybe he just got caught up in it and for a brief moment in time he felt like his life was going in the right direction.

I am not saying it wasn’t awful to watch Molly have her heart broken but come on.  Molly, along with 25 other women, signed up for the show knowing very well what their odds were of finding love.

I will admit that bringing Melissa and Jason back to have Jason break up with her on National Television was somewhat like watching a car wreck.  But did I tune out?  Did you?  Not a chance.  I knew there had to be a twist as we all saw the trailer for the show and wondered for weeks why there was no audience at the end.

I think Melissa is a very aware young woman.  She’ll bounce back and connect the dots one day.  For a time she’ll question herself and wonder what she did wrong and have her pity me moment.  But then she’ll wake up and see that it had absolutely  nothing to do with her as a person.  Melissa’s beautiful, strong, confident and is not afraid to open her heart.  She’ll find love because she is continually putting herself out there.  And hey, there’s always that chance of being the next  bachelorette.  Who wouldn’t sign up for that.  I’d do it just for the kissing.  I know I wouldn’t find love entering into it so it would just be a huge kiss fest for me.Yikes!

You have to give the guy some credit for his courage to come back on the show, knowing that most women will judge him and take the side of the jilted heart.  But we have to stop placing blame on people.  I don’t believe for one moment that Jason entered into this show with the pure intention of hurting all those girls feelings.  You have to keep in mind that everyone is just trying to find a safe place to be and share it with someone they love.  As much as you’d like to place blame on Jason, until you’ve been in his position you simple can’t judge!

I admire Jason for being honest and not leaving it too long.  Should he have just kept trying with Melissa if his heart was with Molly?  There’s no guarantee they will be together in the future either but at least he is being true to himself.

When I was younger I ended an engagement with a guy I thought I was in love with for that very reason!  I was at least honest enough to admit I shouldn’t get married to someone when my heart was elsewhere.  I still wonder what would have been after 25 years.  I wouldn’t go back and change a single thing but I do wonder.  When you have chemistry that can’t be denied it doesn’t go away.  Molly and Jason might be the next Trista & Ryan, have a family and live happily ever after.

Everything in life happens for a reason.  You just have to be honest and true to yourself.  No one should ever fault you for that.  For those of you who still can’t get past the fact that the show went this route,  keep this in mind;  it’s a reality show that is edited the way that will give the television network the best ratings.  I don’t want to pop any bubbles here but it is possible that Jason did pick Molly right from the start.  Completely scripted for the benefit of ratings.  Give that a swirl for awhile.  Keep-a-Breast Foundation Keep-a-Breast Foundation

PS I did take my kids lunch by the way!

Update added to The Little Suitcase by Andrea Azevedo !! She won the contest!  Thank you to everyone who read and downloaded her book through Tara Cronica.  That right there is a perfect example of why we started this site !!

Tracy

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