I am not a fan of Halloween, never have been really, it always felt silly dressing up. My earliest memory was when I was about 6 years old, I couldn’t decide whether to be Pregnant or a Princess so I was both, a Pregnant Princess! The neighbors didn’t seem surprised.

Since I can remember I have always gone with the silly Halloween costumes, but most women gravitate to the Sexy ones. You would think that after a few awkward experiences I would have nixed the silly and gone with sexy, but I just couldn’t seem to walk out the door in a ‘fantasy type’ ensemble.

Awkward experience #1) I had a crush on a boy all through Elementary School. When I went to a Halloween party he was there, we talked all night long, he eventually walked me to my car and kissed me! It was pure teenage bliss! I was floating on a crush cloud for hours afterwards. I couldn’t believe after all these years of crushing on him HE KISSED ME! When I arrived home I got into my PJ’s and went into the bathroom to wash my face. When I looked in the mirror I came crashing down off of my crush cloud…I WAS A CLOWN, FULL CLOWN MAKEUP smudged all over my face! I had gone all out that year, billowy outfit, clown hair, make up and nose. Tracy the Clown! I finally got to kiss my crush and I was a CLOWN! (picture is minus the nose and wig, that came off in lightening speed when I saw him from across the room!)

Each year it was the same thing, standing in the drug store looking for ideas at 6 pm the night of, and then staying home. I couldn’t even get it together with Bonnie in Hawaii where there were thousands of people all dressed up walking the streets all day and night. I wore a Duck nose and she wore a Lion nose, you don’t want to know what we walked around saying! Our Mothers would not be impressed!

Awkward experience #2) I went to a big Stargate (TV Series) Halloween party and left my costume until the last minute as usual, I was a really bad kick boxer. I wore my full sparring gear, headgear, mouth guard, GI (Gee), boxing gloves, foot and shin protector, chest pad and I applied make up that made me look bruised and beaten up. I arrived at the party and every girl there was in a rented costume from the Renaissance period or some other grand time! Each had their hair and make up done professionally and they all looked flawless. And then there was me…a beaten up boxer.

Halloween is the one night of the year you can get away with dressing like a hooker and not be judged, and I chose clowns and kick boxers? I laugh with my friend Kent about Halloween costumes women pick and how it doesn’t matter what they pick it’s the Sexy-version of… They might be a hobo but it’s a sexy hobo!

Women love being sexy and this is the night they can live out a fantasy in public and get away with it. If I did ever partake in the sexy-version of…I can’t remember it was so long ago! (that’s my standard answer to anything I wish not to recall)

Last year I went as a Female Cougar (wishful thinking) I wore my own little black dress, with a tail peeking out of the bottom, animal print nylons and ears, and fake eye lashes, which Bonnie said made me look cheap! Purrrrrrfect!

My Mom and Dad met on Halloween when they were 12 years old, so you would think me of all people would view Halloween as a romantic night. Maybe I need to rid myself of the humorous costumes and join the crowds of French Maids, Naughty School Girls and Sexy Hobos? What do you think Kent?

I had to laugh this Halloween night when my daughter changed her outfit numerous times before walking out the door, I’m not even sure what she was in the end? I know exactly how she felt! Preparation is of the utmost importance when it comes to Halloween costumes!

I hope your all enjoying your treats, don’t eat too many ladies they are 80 calories each! If I don’t stop now next years costume will be a no brainer, a Well Fed Cougar! This is what I could have been…could’a would’a should’a!