I believe we all require time on our own when a relationship comes to an end, regardless of how long our chosen partner was a part of our life. Just like we need time on our own to grieve the loss of a loved one. We need to ‘come back home’ so to speak. I always took time to come back home in my younger years. Once, I literally came back home and slept on my parents living room floor to rebalance my life that was spiralling out of control because of what I thought was love. My intention was to be there for a couple of months, which turned into a year. We laugh about it now and say I came home for retraining. Without the love, support and guidance of my parents, I would not have come through that time in my life with the confidence they gave me by being there. I didn’t need to always have a man by my side. I wanted one, but the right one and that was the lesson I learned from them. That lesson has stayed with me today.
It took two years to even entertain the idea of adding a man back into my world when my marriage ended. Even though I was placed softly back into the world of dating, I fumbled and faltered more often than not. At times I felt like I was in a dream running in slow motion, trying to gain my footing but couldn’t no matter how hard I tried. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t know what I wanted or who I had become so how could I possibly put out what I needed or wanted from another human being.
Life get much more complicated when you find yourself solo in the later parts of life. Responsibility of family and work makes it more difficult to make an attempt to walk with someone down a path, that now feels foreign and unfamiliar.
We all question whether we are worthy of love at some point in our lives. I know I have many times. If you take time to rebalance and sift through your inner thoughts, self doubts and fears, your dreams, desires and feelings will come alive again. We don’t all take time for ourselves which makes each union slightly off balance until we clear our mind, body and soul of what was left behind. If we don’t eliminate the fear of not being enough from our core, we can’t be enough for anyone, including ourselves.
Life is meant to be shared, we all matter in the world in which we live. We are all connected and need to treat one another with the love and respect we all deserve! Honesty and integrity are character traits we choose, just as we choose to smile each day and accept those who cross our path with open arms and a warm heart.
Time is always on our side, if you value the work you need to do within in. There is no rush when it comes to love. What matters most is that we learn to love ourselves before we try to love another.
We live, we learn, we love, we matter…every single one of us!
I am not quite sure how you went from this below….to that above? It blows my mind just thinking about it! Thirteen years ago today you changed my life. My family was complete with a perfect boy and now a beautiful baby girl. The Million Dollar Family! I kept the ‘girl’ part a secret, but finally I got to share YOU with the world! My GIRL!
I am so very proud of who you are! You have such a beautiful soul. You have touched the lives of so many in such a short amount of time! Your character is unique, unusual even, for your age. I don’t think this is your first BBQ. You seamlessly navigate yourself through the winding roads of life without a worry in the world. You are smart and witty and have a sense of self that is unafraid to explore what this magical life has to offer! You simply get it! If you would just get the clean your room part that would be a bonus! (I’m not holding my breath!) You have such purpose and share your natural instinct with those around you. You have compassion that bubbles over and empathy that comes from deep within. Your moral fibre and family values are still intact, lets keep it that way! 😉
I know being a teenager is not going to be easy, it never is, but I know that you will master this challenge with a happy heart and colourful courageous spirit! You go gurl! Keep me posted, I am just down the hall in the tidy room! I am right here 24/7 if you need some awesome parenting 101 advice, I’m going pro next year! I can guide you part way but you’re going to have to help me here, there is no ‘Dummies on Teenagers’ book that I am aware of, so just cut me some slack now and then. Remember, I am also hormonal so it’s a double whammy for us chicksters! Let’s get this party started!
Always keep in mind Music helps soothe the soul, (can extent your run by at least 2K if you crank it) and a good piece of chocolate is so under rated! I have a hidden stash if your moody blues need a boost.
I feel blessed that you chose me to be your Mom. I will forever be grateful that you came into my life. I am right here watching you blossom into a gorgeous young lady…I use the term lady loosely knowing who you are! You are definitely not shy! Your sense of humour catches me off guard every single day! That alone makes any split second hormonal outburst worth it in my eyes. If you could just stagger yours between mine that would be helpful.
Your quirky personality makes me gut laugh every single day! You are your own person indeed! Love that about you! A true leader!
Jordan, Happy Birthday! I love you with all of my heart and wish for you the world and everything in it! Now go makes some more waves!
This is classic when it comes to Christmas tunes, it makes me smile each year. Musicians have been using their voices to change the world for years. I love when talented people join forces to make a difference in the world. This is a great example of what can be done when we work together.
So when you are spending time with your family this holiday season remember to give to those who are not as fortunate.
Whenever my kids are home from school for a break, whether it be summer, spring or winter, I always feel a connection to my past. I remember the same breaks as a little girl and it brings me back to a time when life seemed so basic and simple. I have so many fond memories of my childhood. I remember spending days lying in the grass looking up to the cloud filled sky, drifting off. It was a form of meditation searching for images in the cloud formations. Galloping horses would appear and be swept away moments later by the wind creating yet another image. Life is like that sometimes, changing with the wind, showing us there is always something new when the wind blows.
Star gazing was the same for me as a little girl. I would sleep outside on the back deck and stare into the night sky wondering what was out there for me to explore. I would wish upon a star and get a jolt of excitement when one would shoot across the sky in the blink of an eye! I liked to believe it was the Universe sending me a message.
I am an Aquarian and I have been told I live in the clouds by more than one person, it is true. I don’t know if it’s a way of connection to my childhood or my imagination that gets set free when I get lost in the clouds, but I like the feeling I get when I stare into the sky, let go and just be.
We don’t take time anymore unless its a holiday to just sit and look at what nature has for us to enjoy. Unless there is nothing else to do we don’t stop and see the beauty that surrounds us each day. We are blessed with so much, our only fault is not finding the time to see and appreciate it. This year take time to see what nature creates in the simplicity of a cloud. You may want to move there with me.
This is one reason I live in the clouds…come join me 😉
I spent Christmas in Spain when I was 10 so Feliz Navidad was and still is my favourite Christmas song. You all know I can’t go through Christmas without doing a Jib-Jab, so here you go! Feliz Navidad!
Be sure you make time for those you love this holiday season. Time seems to fly by too quickly these days and we sometime lose sight of what is most important, time with our family and friends.
Have a very Merry and Safe Christmas Everyone! xo
“Feliz Navidad ~ I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart…”
Parenting is an ongoing struggle. Being a single parent is a challenge most of us wouldn’t want to face! The stereotypical single Mom is one who just gets by, has two kids, rents an apartment and gets some sort of social assistance. It’s the hardest job on the planet in my eyes. Holding it all together, while teaching your kids about life and love. There’s a reason why no one tells you the truth about how incredibly hard it is to be a parent. But it’s not because they want you to experience the same difficulties as they have, it’s because at the end of the day, it’s still worth it…no matter what you have to go through! Human beings are miracles created on earth, it’s a gift to become a parent. And to have a family is a blessing!
Not many women choose to be a single Mom, but it happens! Moms who do find themselves raising their children on their own need to remember that although they can’t give their child their entire wish list, they can give love and children would trade everything for love!
Single Dads have the same challenges, but they aren’t programmed like women are for being the care-giver, which in my opinion is even more difficult. Single Dads definitely have their work cut out for them.
Family today is anything but traditional, in most cases. What we need to remember is that our children are blank canvases, it is up to us to teach them by example. Be who you want them to respect and love. Show them acceptance and love of others. Let them see your compassion and empathy for other human beings. Teach them to give more than they take. Have the integrity they will strive for as they live and learn. Show your kids that anything is possible when the truth and honesty is present. Allow them to make mistakes and teach them that its what we do after we pick ourselves back up that matter, not what knocked us down. And most of all let them see you being true to yourself!
What I think is the most important element of family is love. When you have love you have it all. As long as your child feels loved, they will learn to give love. Kids naturally live authentically, and we as parents can learn a lot from these incredible little human beings. As parents it’s our responsibility to live truthfully and show them that whatever comes their way they have love and support from both their parents regardless of the structure of their family unit.
I can’t imagine my life without my kids, still to this day they’re the best thing I’ve ever done. You may not always be married to your husband or wife forever but your kids will always be your kids and you will always be their Mom or Dad. Being a parent, is forever and a blessing. Be the parent you want your kids to be!
I think what ever you choose, marriage, kids, or not, it’s YOUR choice to make. That’s the greatest part of life…choice!
We make choices every single day that are based on our thoughts, ‘thoughts become things…choose the good ones’ (Notes from the Universe).
A good friend of mine Lawrence Thomas shared the link to the video below when I posted ‘Stepping into the Ring with the ‘C’ Word”. I was overwhelmed as I am sure anyone who watched it was. Social isolation was something I never even considered a child might go through while dealing with cancer.
The first thing that comes to mind when I think of children is play, laughter and silliness. Imagine for a moment being a child and not having anyone to play, laugh or be silly with simply because nobody understands what’s happening to you, while you fight for your life! Myles McLellan was only 9 years old when he was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. Myles not only had strength, but the confidence to express his feelings and emotions for all his peers to see with the help of Billie Mintz president of arc, Artists Raising Consciousness.
The focus of arc is to help raise awareness of those who make a positive impact on society by using storytelling and social media. Arc Institute aims to assist organizations with their philanthropic goals and their social responsibility mandate by telling stories through cinema and by helping illuminate the human question “Why are we here?” It just doesn’t get much better than that for me!
Myles faced his fears head on like a true warrior but sadly passed away at 13 when his tumor returned, but he left this world a difference maker. He helped educate other children and taught them awareness. The stigmas that are associated with cancer from a child’s eyes are important to talk about and by doing so, Myles made change.
Education is key to understanding what strength really is! Your kids should watch this video with you! You were a leader and hero Myles!
Surviving the Treatment: The Return of Myles McLellan
Thank you so much for sharing this with us Lawrence, I felt it wasn’t enough to just have a link posted! xo
This post is for Rick, one of our much appreciated regular Tara followers! Rick continues to use his voice by giving us his male point of view and we appreciate it. He’s very passionate about life and the meaning behind it. He asked me on my bio page to tackle the topic, The Whole Journey, Life Itself. At first I was overwhelmed at just the thought of having to put down my view because it felt so vast a subject, bigger than me! But when a seed is planted and time passes, something eventually starts to grow! When I run I process all the little things that have been slotted in my subconscious, this was one of them. Here goes…
The Whole Journey, Life Itself ~
I think that at some point in every human beings life the thought or contemplation of what the purpose of life is, enters our mind. Why are we here? What happens when we leave our bodies? Do we believe in angels, the devil, guides, after-life or reincarnation? Nobody really knows for sure why we’re here, or where we go after-life, but we can all speculate on what we think happens. Religious beliefs are a personal choice. Everybody has unique ways of supporting their religion or spiritual beliefs. Regardless of what you believe or wish to believe, you can’t be guaranteed something that you have not experienced yourself. I suppose that is why it’s called faith. Regardless of who your God or Source is, if you have faith in something, it somehow makes the time here on earth more meaningful.
I personally think that the whole journey and life itself all comes down to what we accomplish while we are here. It’s about the time between A, birth, and B, death. It’s the dash that is between your birth, for me 1963 to your death that counts. It’s not about what materialistic items you can accumulate along the way, how big your house is or what your job is, it’s about knowledge. It’s about making a difference, enrich the lives of those you encounter while on your chosen path. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a teacher helping educate children, building movie sets, cleaning houses or a policemen keeping us safe, as long as you are doing something each day to contribute to the world we live in. What matters is that whatever you are doing, you do the best you can.Whether your wealthy or penniless, you are able to make a difference.
Each soul is here to learn something unique to them, each having a different journey in life. I do believe we are all connected, an energy, where this energy originated from, I am still unsure. I like to believe that there is more purpose to life than being human or I simply don’t see the point of living a one time only existence. It’s about knowledge and sharing that knowledge with those also seeking it. Sometimes I wonder if I am on the right path and then simply ask myself if I had nothing, absolutely nothing but my friends and family, would my path change? The answer is no, I would be doing just what I am now, trying to inspire, gain knowledge, enrich the lives of those around me and maintain my moral fibre. Who I am will not change regardless of my doings. If being here on earth for this one life is it, then we better get started on making that difference so that future generations can also have the opportunity to enjoy what life has to offer. We all have a conscience inside somewhere, we just need to experience doing the right thing to make us aware of how strong it can be.
So for me Rick, The Whole Journey, Life Itself is all about knowledge and doings.
Life History Media ~ telling the story of your life. “To forget one’s ancestors is to be a brook without a source, a tree without a root” chinese proverb.
I have recently joined my friend Anna Ceraldi-Zin and company on a venture that will capture history and make it available for the next generation. No, I am not leaving Tara Cronica, I just can’t resist working along side inspiring, confident, independent women! I can do it all, just watch me!
Whether the history you want to document is Family, Personal, Couples, Tribute Life History or Corporate History,Life History Media can capture it in a high quality format that will last for generations. The professional, broadcast quality HD documentaries are similar to those on The Biography Channel but with your history as the one featured!
I felt honoured that Anna even thought of me when this opportunity was created. To give you a little ‘history’ on how Anna and I are connected, Bonnie and I went to high school with Anna, we were and still are best friends! We have stayed in touch over the years, Anna mostly living back East having pursued a Journalism career which was extremely successful and has made her life very interesting to say the least! Anna has always been know to tell a colourful, captivating story so this venture suits who she is to a ‘T’! Anna is a very motivated and driven woman whom I have admired and been inspired by since we met. Her independence and strong will have made her not only a great Mother and role model for her daughter, but has shown that you can have both a family and follow your dreams balancing the two along the way! Anna is a life long friend whom I look forward to joining on this interesting journey. I am very excited to start out on yet another path in life with someone I admire and respect as much as her. Cheers Bella, here’s to making and documenting some history!
Take a moment to check out Life History Media’s website, where you will find all the details needed to turn your family photo’s and stories into a lasting legacy! If you are interested in having your legacy captured contact one of us at Life History Media and we would be happy to make it happen~
If you follow Tara Cronica regularly you know this month Jacquie created our header in which she chose ‘Finding Lyrical Beauty in History’. Great job Jake, I love that each month we get a fresh new look which reflects Lyrical beauty and our unique personalities.
Family history makes me think of my family tree branching off in different directions with lots of similar character traits and connections of generations past. There is family history in our names dating back decades, our behaviours, and our genetics.
When you have history with someone it changes everything. There is an element of trust that goes along with it, which takes years to build but has to start somewhere, right? When you first meet someone new it’s fresh and exciting but it can be a little unsettling that you don’t know their history. You are unaware of their family traits that have been passed down from generation to generation. Is your potential mother in-law a control freak, brother in-law a narcissist or soon to be sister in-law a manic depressive? How many of these traits will present themselves in your potential partner over the years because of genetics or simply because it’s what they know. It’s a gamble really. No matter what our genetic history or family traits are, we all have a choice of who we want to be.
Who hasn’t been told at some point in their lives “you’re just like your mother/father” or “your grandfather used to do the same thing.” (that’s not always a good thing) As human beings we find comfort in belonging. If you’re adopted you have a completely different understanding of family history because it starts with you. Nobody in your family looks like you and you’re not sure which traits you’ve picked up through osmosis or genetics.
I don’t think there is anyone out there who hasn’t at least once in their lifetime cringed at just the thought of being just like your _____. (I will let you fill in that blank) That is when one of those traits passed down is not one we want to be associated with. It’s when this trait is staring back at you in the mirror that you need to do something about it. It will lead you around and around instead of moving forward to break the cycle.
Some negative family traits would be families who don’t communicate or speak for years out of stubbornness, families who don’t show affection because they didn’t get any while growing up, even though they crave it themselves. Abuse is a cycle among some families. There are two ways you can go, you can repeat the cycle or break it. It’s not right to think that because you didn’t get something that you shouldn’t give it freely yourself, or that you did get treated poorly so you justify doing it. If you can identify the behaviours or traits you don’t want, whether they started with your parents or grandparents, or maybe they started with you, you’re on the right path. Being aware is the first step, making that connection is the hard part, and then taking steps to avoid history from repeating itself is success! It means growth in a positive direction is happening. You take the good and remove the bad, what you take with you is a choice, it’s not bound to you. You choose each day who you want to be.
I think when history does repeat itself it can mean the lesson was not learned or there was a lack of growth along that chosen path. History within a family is a wonderful feeling, knowing every single thing about someone, having followed their growth throughout the years is comfort, plain and simple. We all love comfort. But sometimes we need to step out of our comfort zone and stand on our own two feet. We need to welcome others into our circle and embrace their history, even the parts unknown to us. History is out there waiting to be found, we just need to explore a little further.
On our way to school one morning my 8 year old daughter asked “back in the olden days did you have a mole-lot”. “Phftt, back in the olden days” I laughed! l almost went directly into the olden day rant, we’ve all heard it, “when I was a kid, I had to walk to school up hill both ways with no shoes in the snow” yadda yadda yadda, I didn’t, I showed restraint. She would have look at me like I was from the olden days because that is an ‘olden days’ thing to say as far as I’m concerned! lol
It made me laugh that she actually thought I lived back in the olden days, never mind the mole-lot! She then proceeded with her childish attitude “Well ya lived in the day of the mole-lot”. I snapped back, it’s actually called a Mullet, not Mole-lot. I laugh when she says certain words because she is still little and doesn’t know how to pronounce everything yet. Sometimes she puts the wrong empha-sis on the wrong sylla-ble! I hate correcting her but I guess now that she’s approaching 9 I should. Another funny example was when she read the hot chocolate box aloud ~”It’s gormet!” (Gourmet) like Jimmy Buffet not buffet. We all talked like rednecks for hours after that one! (perfect example if you read my post ‘You Know What‘ about diving in at any opportunity to tease a member of the family)
I tried desperately to convince my daughter that I was actually in style wayyyy back in the ’80’s with my mullet, and that her kids would look back at her pictures and ask why she wore a pony tale with a hair band holding every single stand of hair back like she was going to wash her face? She laughed. I decided to do this post to prove to her how stylin the olden days were!
Join me now for a brief look back at ‘The Olden Days’ ~
Yes, that I believe is a ‘Mullet’!
This might actually have come back around, darn should have kept it!
Why doesn’t anyone get perms anymore? The human poodle!
Wayne Cox (Global News) at the Miss Summer Madness ’85, laugh if you must, I won $7,000.00 in prizes! (it made me who I am, it made me who I am… sigh)
And last but not least, the 80’s are not complete for me without MacGyver, Richard Dean Anderson! Now that’s an 80’s picture!
So maybe to Jordan I did live in the ‘Olden Days.’ But for me they were just the days in which I lived that helped me become who I am today. I wouldn’t change a thing! I can’t wait to hear my daughters conversation with her daughter or son about ‘in the day’ she lived! It’s so fun looking back at your past, connecting the dots. Bonnie, Jake, care to take a peak back yourself and share a little of what made you who you are today? I triple dog dare ya!
I am perfectly capable of taking care of the kids, house, dog, business, yard, etc etc etc and the list goes on! Blah blah blah! My days are crazy busy but I love it! I Can Do It All!
I don’t know how many women feel the same as I do but I am guessing there are plenty! I basically go from one thing to another trying really hard to balance every aspect of my life. I like my house in order and I am extremely organized. I will admit I have relaxed over the years because my life is full! The problem is, I continue to take on more which has made it a necessity to prioritize my daily activities, so it can be hard. As it is now, when we need milk, I grocery shop, when crap from the kitchen floor starts to stick to my feet, I mop, when we need clothes, I do a wash, when I smell, I shower, okay that’s a joke, personal hygiene is high on my list! Can anyone relate?
Here comes the bad news. When we take on everything because we have my attitude, I am capable so therefore I will, somethings gotta give. In my case it’s my body. When the balance goes out we need to make change. You have probably figured out by now that I love exercise, but with being so busy I’ve been cutting corners, doing the bare minimum. It eventually catches up with you, believe me I know. But at least I’m aware of it, so that’s the first step!
I tried Yoga to help with stretching, slow myself down a bit, but I couldn’t even lift my arms over my head I have such pain in both my shoulders.(calcific tendinitis) And if that’s not painful enough my IT band hurts 24/7. Basically I hurt from my hip to my knee on the outer side of my leg! (iliotibial band) I feel like I should be going to see a Geriatric doctor not a Massage therapist. Kels I know, basically I need you to live with me! And the icing on the cake (mmm wish I had cake) I had a sore throat and head cold which has put me even further behind my goal of being ripped by May! Uncle! I Give, whatever it is you say when you throw in the towel!
I am on the road to restoring balance in my body by finally taking the time out of my busy day to see a massage therapy. What a relief! It wasn’t quite like the massage you get as a gift, it was painful. You know your in pain when…you let a complete stranger dig her elbow into your oiled bare buttocks and thighs with the lights on! Hallelujah! All I can say is THANK GOD it was a woman!
Lesson learned, if we continue to be so busy that we ignore our bodies own cry out for help it has no choice but to put on the breaks and force us to stop doing so much! So maybe I can’t do it all, or shouldn’t do it all.
This quote makes me feel like all my aches and pains are worth it!
“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!'”
— Hunter S. Thompson
Our family has quite a few ‘sayings’ that make me laugh each time I hear them. My son has his favorite when someone is questioning him. It got the title of my post because it’s said the most by all of us. “You know what!” You have to have a look of displeasure on your face and really say it with conviction for it to work.
I have been surfing around other blogs lately just to see what’s going on in the blogosphere and I could totally relate to Tony Anders (‘Artisan Of The Human Spirit’) post ‘Stand up? Nope, sit down‘. I know many of you with kids approaching the wonderful years of ‘teenageism’ will be able to relate. It’s basically about how our kids perceive us as they are growing up. As a parent it feels like one day our kids are looking to us for every laugh they have waiting to let out, and the very next moment they are embarrassed by the same shtick that once got a riotous reaction! And to that I say,“You know what!” I’m not buyin it. My Dad was always able to make me laugh, I think he is still one of the funniest guys out there. Jeez I never even considered that maybe I am just not as funny as my Dad. Na, that can’t be possible. Regardless, I can’t relate when my kids look at me ‘questionably’ when I say something funny! It just makes me want to rebel even more. Ya I know, real mature.
My kids recently told me I was not allowed to sing in the car, my hand gestures are apparently over the top! (the back windows are blacked out for cry in out loud) It’s not like anyone can even see them. I know I am not the best singer but I’M NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO LIP SYNC!! “You know what!” As I told Tony in a comment I gave my kids a ‘what-for’ (you gotta love Urban dictionary) about me being who I am and loving life and that I was comfortable expressing myself as I do. They could either embrace me for all I am and enjoy the show within the confines of my Jeep with the blacked out windows, OR, tune into You-tube to see me in my own Numa Numa video for the world and all their friends to see. I’m singing in the car! Thank you very much I’ll be here til Thursday! I have retained the Paddle of Power! Now that I think of it I did do a You-tube video that shows my maturity and they laughed. (check out my bio page if you want to see how mature I really am)
Another way we get a real laugh around our house is if someone teases a member of the family because they, lets say stutter or do something stupid, (yes, we draw attention to it) the rule is you can’t tease the person back who gets you first, that’s called second man in and if you try it backfires and you become the laughing stock of the family! Skills my kids will use FOREVER, no therapy needed so far for either kid might I add. The only time your not allowed to tease someone in our family is if they are sensitive and announce “The Red Light Is On” we all respect that. I can see after reading this that we have a quirky family, but we don’t go without laughter in our house, it’s not allowed!
I will leave you with one more game that was brought home by Scott,“last one to laugh”, if you’re the last one to laugh at something it shows that you took the longest time to ‘get it’ so now the focus is on you, and we all laugh at that. It’s really funny to see everyone realize that two people are laughing and you need to laugh really quick to not be dubbed ‘last one to laugh’, which makes it even funnier. It really is all about the LOL in my world as you can see. Oh the games we play behind closed doors.
Enjoy your day everyone and just make sure you LAUGH!
We all like to think we have honesty with our partner, friends, family and co workers, but do we? Are we being honest with ourselves?
You have to wonder don’t you. A vow is taken at a wedding, but still the divorce rate is approaching 80%. Spouses are trusted, yet affairs are almost common behaviour. Friends who were once trusted with deep dark secrets eventually blab to someone and show their true colours. Why are relationships failing? Everything seems to be disposable including relationships and I think it all comes down to honesty. I think people are afraid to be really honest with one another. They’re afraid to say how they really feel. If they do they take the chance of being judged and alienated for simply speaking the truth. How well do you really know your partner? Do you know and accept the good with the bad? Do you really know their passions and desires? If we are completely honest in our relationships, trust should be there. But lets face it, sometimes the truth hurts.
Trust; – noun: reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, ect, of a person or thing; confidence.
“Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people” I love this quote by Spencer Johnson.
How much confidence do you have in your spouse? Will they stand by you ‘til death do you part?’ I heard on the radio one morning about this study that was done when women in a marriage get ill. I’m not just talkin the flu or a virus here, I mean really sick. When women get an illness like M.S or Cancer 21% of men leave their wives. (That still leaves 79% that will stick it out, which is positive.) But if the rolls are reversed only 3% of women leave. The reasons given were that men don’t see themselves as the ‘caregiver‘ in a relationship. Men simply don’t multi task like women do, which would be necessary while taking on what would be required if their spouse was ill. This makes me wonder, if couples felt they could be more honest within their relationship, could these drastic measures turn into compromising ones? Could there be hope of working it out together simply because of raw honesty?
We all know how hard it can be to be COMPLETELY honest with anyone without hurting feelings somewhere along the line. But if you want real trust you have to start somewhere. I know this because I’ve been there. There is a huge payoff for honesty and that is friendship. Because of honesty in my relationship I have a best friend whom I trust more than ever. Scott is my best friend because of honesty. I will admit at times it was hard, but if you get rid of your ego and really put yourself out there, you get past the hard part and are left with trust.
When the truth is told it gives you the freedom to make decisions based on what’s best for you. It’s unselfish to speak the truth to those you love, whether the news is good or bad, the truth shall can set you free! The same goes with your girlfriends, although it is difficult to speak the truth to them at time, it is easier in the end if you do.
I think that as long as you have honesty, pure intention, you have trust.
If you could describe each family members in one word what would it be? I decided to play this word game while on a short road trip with my family to see what we would come up. I asked each person to choose one word to describe the others. Instantly without even a pause my 8 year old daughter piped up and said, “I got one”. I told her she needed to think about it a little bit longer lol ! Looking back I wished I had asked to hear the word she chose without hesitation. As we drove I could tell each one of us was contemplating which word described the others. Here is how it all turned out~
My son was said to be athletic by his sister, intelligent by me and spontaneous by his dad. My sons beautiful big brown eyes lit up as he smiled when each of us said what we personally thought of him, athletic, spontaneous and intelligent. FANTASTIC !
My daughter was described as being unique by her brother, caring by her dad and compassionate by mewhich made her shine. Her face looked like it was her birthday for the rest of the car ride knowing she was described as unique, caring and compassionate.
Scott was described by my son as being helpful, he was fun as far as my daughter was concerned and the word that I chose was honest. What a great feeling to be thought of as helpful, fun and honest!
And last but not least I was said to be inspiring by my son, amazing by my daughter and loving by Scott. Now if that doesn’t make you feel warm and fuzzy inside AND put a smile on your face that shines right through from your heart I don’t know what will!
As we drove the rest of the way you could tell we had all bonded a little bit more from a simple word game. You really should try it, it changed our attitudes for the rest of the day!!
I attended the funeral service for my second cousin Casey Douglas Adkins on Monday and was moved for many different reasons. I reconnected with my extended family on my mother’s side after years of not keeping in touch.
When I first saw my cousin Dee, Casey’s mom, her voice sent me back to my childhood, it brought me comfort hearing her soft familiar words. In a split second after hearing Dee’s voice, the time that had passed was gone. Doug, Casey’s dad stood tall and was the strength of the family, just as I remembered. Corey, Casey’s brother had the same strength, he too was a father to a young 6 year old boy who looked just like him.
To lose your son at any age would be unbearable, Casey lost his life at 28 years old, it was an accident. I hadn’t seen Casey since he was very young, but after hearing the tributes from his close circle of friends, I felt as though I had a real sense of who he had become. I had some regret for the first time in my life. I had not been a part of someone’s life whom I was classified as family. I sat feeling a sense of guilt that I had a seat in the “reserved family” section where any one of his friends should have been sitting.
When Casey’s close friends stood strong and spoke of their friend, it reminded me that there really are a lot of good solid people out there, we just haven’t met them yet. The voices of these young men who articulated their personal memories of Casey so vividly, have just started to live their lives; Stuart, Josh and Michael to name a few spoke from their hearts and brought tears and laughter to everyone sitting speechless.
Family shouldn’t just get together for weddings and funerals, we are connected and we miss out by not doing so. The passing of Casey is a tragic reminder of how life can be cut short. Casey was a soul who brightened every life he was a part of. He was known for his contagious smile, loud sneeze, athletics and great attitude towards pretty much everything. He will be greatly missed.
Life sometimes throws us challenges that make us all become more aware of what is most important, family, friends, health, attitude and moral fiber. It’s how we decide to deal with these challenges that counts.
So although I personally didn’t know Casey as well as others, in the end he touched my life as well by making me more aware of how important it is to live life with no regret, stay connected with those you love and face life’s challenges with a positive attitude.
The big day is over. Phew! All the rushing around, Christmas baking, shopping (unless you are boxing day shopping today) and gift wrapping is now behind us for another year. Yesterday was a day of abundance for most of us; abundant food, drink, family, friends and gifts. Gifts in every shape and size and monetary value, but the intangible gifts are the most touching and valuable to me; like the gifts of laughter, love, friendship and family.
Our lives are often so full of stuff; modern conveniences, material possessions and unnecessary luxuries that we tend to forget or miss the real gifts that surround us every day. Of course I am grateful for all of the wrapped gifts I received this Christmas, but I would like to see the spirit of gratitude continue for us all each day of the year. Sure, gratitude is a feeling of thankfulness in response to receiving something whether it’s a gift or an act of kindness, but I believe we can choose to feel gratitude everyday regardless of our situation or circumstances. I read somewhere that the feeling of gratitude has the same vibrational energy as love and I believe it. They feel the same don’t they?
To me it’s all about feeling good. Look for things to feel good about and grateful for and you cannot help but find yourself in a wonderful frame of mind. When you consciously choose to focus on life’s blessings, they will suddenly appear everywhere for you. It is the law of attraction at it’s finest.
In the relatively new field of “positive psychology,” researchers are studying the science of thankfulness. In The Psychology of Gratitude, Dr. Michael McCullough of the University of Miami and Dr. Robert Emmons of the University of California at Davis, show how participating in regular, deliberate appreciation improves almost everything. By having their research participants keep weekly or daily gratitude journals and practicing self-guided exercises, the researchers discovered their participants slept better, exercised more, increased positive emotions, had more rhythmic heartbeats, progressed toward personal goals more quickly, and helped others more often.
Speaking of gratitude, I want to take this opportunity to thank all of our regular readers who have been so supportive of our Tara Cronica since her inception this past year and to say welcome to our new readers. We are so grateful to have you all join us here.
“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” Marcel Proust
The Tara Team Presents ~ Jacquie~ Bonnie ~ Tracyoh and a few of our favorite elves,Gavin(you had to know you would be in this one) and James (cause I miss you) Enjoy every moment you spend with your family and friends!
Be safe and remember to“Find Lyrical Beauty in Giving”.
It seems that lately a lot of my male friends are either about to become a “Daddy” or just recently became one. I melt each and every time they tell me how enormous their heart grew upon arrival of their “little girl”. There is forever something special about the bond between a dad and his daughter. Just as there is a special bond between a mom and her little boy, any way you look at it a parent and child experience love like no other.
I can relate to my dad friends because my daughter is a daddies little girl. I have experienced the powerful love between a dad and his daughter with my own dad and now I get to experience it with my daughter.
When you spend as much time with your kids as I do or you work from home, everything from school seems to be addressed“To Mommy“. It’s because I am the one they see the most. Moms are usually the first to hear of everything that happens in their child’s day and unfortunately sometimes by the time dad comes in the door the moment has past or lost it’s excitement. Similar to “I guess you had to be there”. Kids need to know how important it is to share their excitement with daddy too.
I think dad’s get the bum deal when they miss the excitement that comes in the moment of their kids achievements, all because they are hard at work. I was watching “Modern Family” and loved what Jay,one of the characters said, “90 percent of being a dad is just showing up”. Isn’t that the truth!
Daddy’s hard at work while mom takes care of the bruised knee’s and endless other tasks on her list of things to do. Mom gets most of the credit for doing everything, because they do do everything (at home) but without the dad’s who work hard all day we couldn’t do it nearly“as well”.
Every so often Daddy’s get the Grand Prize from their babes that makes their hearts melt right in their little hands!
All my new dad friends this is what you have to look forward to!!
Thanks Scott for working so hard so that I was able to be at home and not miss out on any part of being a mom!
Have you ever felt like you just wanted to escape from life in general, if even for a moment! You try desperately to tune out everything and everybody around you. You start to day dream of where you would much rather be ….it’s called your “Happy Place“. It’s the mental state achieved when one wants to avoid the unpleasant or uncomfortable. Everyone has a different happy place that usually consists of the things that make them feel warm and fuzzy.
Ahhhh My Happy Place…I have been trying to get there lately but it’s been like a bad dream, your running as fast as you can but you are moving in slow motion!! I have been literally running from one task to the next with absolutely no time to spare between for the last month and it is starting to take it’s toll. The balance in life can sometimes get away from all of us and I will go on record right now and say mine is OUT !! It is my own fault, I take on too much, have too many interests and my independent attitude doesn’t help! I have wayyyyy too many cool things I want to be working towards, Tara Cronica, Writing a book, Kids, Silpada Jewelry, Exercise, Running a business, Girlfriends, Making Jewelry. The list keeps growing ! I am taking a breath now~
My Happy Place consists of me sitting in a white wooden chair on the beach in Rarotonga, The Cooke Islands, completely alone with no one in sight. There is a panoramic view of just water, sand and palm trees as far as you can see. My chair is in the water so that my feet feel the warm waves slowly roll over them. I have no where to be, nothing to do but sit and contemplate. I have my ipod and I am listening to Enya or Enigma while my mind just goes far far away. I have been to My Happy Place in reality, and it was such a serene wonderful place to be. If I could fly there right now I would board the plane with no luggage, just the cloths on my back. When you have so many things on the go it’s not hard to have your world start to spin in circles. I need to take a chill pill and really try hard at least in my mind to get to my Happy Place! Wish me luck !
Bonnie aligns herself~
I have learned that when I find myself out of my “happy place” it is always because I’m out of alignment. What does that mean exactly? Well, for me it means that I’m not tuned in to Who-I-Really-Am; that bigger part of my Self that is connected to Source (God, the Universe, Allah, whatever label you choose). The disconnect happens when I’m not aligned with that source of joy and inspiration (which is, in fact, our natural state). It’s easy to let myself slip out of alignment, all I have to do is focus on something negative or something that makes me feel bad and then I see some more stuff that makes me feel bad and then I notice something else negative that I hadn’t noticed before,…and so it goes.
Start the night before: As you put yourself to bed find things in your immediate vicinity (your bed, your pillow, your sheets) to direct your appreciation toward. Set your intention to sleep well and to awaken refreshed.
When you wake up lie there for 5 minutes and think about some more things you appreciate.
After you’ve washed and eaten, sit for 15 minutes and quiet your mind. Allow resistance to fall away and feel your vibration rise.
Open your eyes and sit for 5 or 10 minutes writing a list of things you appreciate about your life.
That’s it. 30 minutes or less and I’m feeling good again. It’s all about choosing a positive point of attraction which not only yields to me activities and rendezvous with good feeling people, places, and things – but my ability to experience the delicious depth of them will be dramatically enhanced. “Getting yourself feeling good before you take any action is always the best process; and when you do not feel good, you cannot be inspired to any action that will solve the problem”. – Abraham
Jacquie knows it’s right where it’s always been~
I think I discovered the secret to my happy place a long time ago when I was a typical angst-ridden emo 17 year old living in Paris and dealing with loss, loneliness and betrayal. I spent a lot of time writing poetry…and teaching myself how to knit and crochet and design my own pieces. By focusing my attention on something positive and pleasurable, I found I was able to let go of the issues that were the cause of my unhappiness. For me, being actively creative is a form of meditation, and it allows me to stay connected to my true Self by providing plenty of time for reflection. This is the poem I wrote as a melodramatic teenager. I think the sentiment, though perhaps a little over-wrought, still rings true.
I hate to look forward
Because all I see is pain
And pressure and loneliness
And a hurt I can’t explain.
I’m living in a fairy tale
Without the magic wand.
This one’s filled with blackened dreams
That I can’t see beyond.
So by myself I’ve learned to move
And pass my time with me
When those around are cruel and dark
I’m my best company.
We are responsible for our own happiness. It’s up to us individually to find out the best way to stay in tune, or, as Bonnie put it, stay in alignment. The only way to do this is to regularly shut out all the noise that can cloud your judgment and distract you from your goals. When you feel that confidence returning, only then can you feel balanced and ready to tackle the next hurdle calmly, with a smile and an open heart.