What if God is Testing YOU?

pixiz-31-07-2016-21-37-22I wrote this 6 years ago. I am reposting it because there has been change in the world since this was originally written and the Gay Pride Parade is today in Vancouver and I am a huge supporter of the LGBT community.

When I was on Facebook the other night I read a status update that a girlfriend from high school wrote that really bothered me. Sylvia was defriended after knowing someone for over 30 years, all because she chooses an ‘alternate lifestyle‘ and they choose God. This would be a good time to add, I am a proud supporter of Gay Pride, not because I am gay but because I believe human beings shouldn’t be judged because of their sexual orientation! I have never read the Bible, but I remember saying my prayers as a child. I prefer to take bits and pieces from all different religions, rather than follow just one. I can only give my opinion of what feels right inside my heart. I believe we are all part of a Universal Source of Energy and I try to live by The Golden Rule Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.’ The Golden Rule is not exclusive to Christianity, many religions teach their version of the Golden Rule, it’s such a basic and simple rule to live by.

I love women, but have never fallen in love with a woman in that way so I have no life experience to call upon when it comes to being gay. (well there was this one time in College…kidding, I never went to College lol) I have lots of gay friends whom I love and support for having the courage to live their lives truthfully and authentically. Imagine having to live with a secret your entire life because you fear being judged and isolated from your family and friends. If either of my children told me they were gay it would make absolutely no difference to me, I would love and support them either way!

My vision of being in a female relationship goes something like this…kids would always be clean and well fed, the house would be spotless, laundry would be done, folded and put away perfectly, there would always be wonderful aromas swirling about the house from fresh baked goods, candle light would glow from each room, wine would be chilled just right, oh and flowers, lots and lots of flowers! I could go on and on but I think you get my point! Female energy is so incredibly amazing! Who wouldn’t want that! Personally, I am physically and sexually attracted to male energy. (after that vision I am asking…why? lol) Please don’t judge me all my lesbian friends! 🙂

What if God was testing you, you who believed in the Christian God, who is against lesbian/homosexual relationships? What if he was testing you to see if you would be a follower or leader and take a stand by challenging his words in the Bible. What if God was testing you to see if you could think for yourself? When you think about how long ago the Bible was written, doesn’t it make sense there should be a few things that change with the times? Back in the time of Adam and Eve it made sense that a man and women would naturally be drawn to each other, to procreate, we needed the human race to flourish. Have we not flourished? There are other ways for human beings to have families and offer their love to one another. I think the Bible could use a little tweaking in this case, or needs to be viewed as more of a guideline, not so black and white.

What if what I say has a sliver of truth to it? I suppose you won’t know until you’re at the pearly gates. I believe I will never be judge for being who I am as long as my intent is pure. Why can’t we all just CoeXisT?

Here is the note that provoked this post:

“Sylvia, I am not continuing to have you as a friend on facebook for the following reasons…. While I am commanded to love you/others I am not compelled to condone or accept the lifestyle choices that are being so seductively and many times blatantly forced on our society and are in clear defiance of God’s word. This message is not something new to you but you have not heard it from me personally. There have been some specific message postings on the common wall by yourself and your friends that speak to your opposition of the “biblical definition of marriage” based on your lifestyle choice. I do not believe in the argument you present and this is not open for rebuttal or debate. God loves his creation and His word is crystal clear that He is opposed to homosexual/lesbian relationships/lifestyles. My head is not in the sand but my head is in God’s word. I will continue to pray that God will reveal himself in your life again and that you will see His word for what it is. – B.”

Sylvia stand tall and proud of who you are and continue loving others as you do yourself, by doing just that you will create the change that is needed. I have no specific words for ‘B’ my post is meant for all the B’s in the world! I can’t imagine feeling as though I have the right to judge another human being.

Imagine for a moment limiting yourself from meeting someone who would enrich your existence while you’re here on Earth, all because of a religious belief. This is simply my opinion, it is not meant to offend anyone or criticize the Bible or anyone’s religious beliefs, it’s just my thoughts and my way of saying life is too short “why can’t we all just get along!”

*Silvia, please watch this video, it’s very empowering and makes sense*

Abraham – who is Non-Physical Source Energy as translated by Esther Hicks – responds to a question from a lesbian activist who wants to affect social change in a meaningful “downstream” way.

Abraham: The Law of Attraction and Gay Rights – Esther & Jerry Hicks



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Amen Sista!

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I had the pleasure of spending an afternoon hiking with a woman I have wanted to connect with for some time. We knew ‘of’ one another when we were in our late teens, her being a friend of my older brother. We connected on FB and it was apparent we viewed life in a similar light. Chris would post something and I found my self saying ‘Amen Sista’ on pretty much everything she wrote or commented on. The friendship seemed inevitable.

When we finally did meet in person, it felt like we were just picking up where we left off, yet we had never had a history together. As we sat looking out at the spectacular view of the Cove after a fabulous hike, we started to delve into what makes each of us who we are at the core of our being. Chris shared openly her unique story which triggered some deep thoughts within myself. We dug deeper as to why we do certain things in life or why we find ourselves in places that challenge us to face our fears. We all have them, it’s about recognizing from where they came and how to deal with them that truly matters. You need to go straight to the pain of why they are there in order to work through how to let them go.

Although we both had different stories to share they had an underlying similarity that made me feel a sense of wellbeing. I understood myself more by listening to Chris share her inner wisdom with me.

As we age gracefully we move to a level of comfort in life that allows us to experience a sense of peace. It’s like a pendulum swings and we right ourselves as we age. Those things we thought defined us when we were younger fall to the wayside, and what really matters becomes crystal clear as we become comfortable in our own skin. We start using our voice to create the change we believe in. We lose the fear of being judged. We know who we are. We still carry around a few insecurities that try to resurface from time to time but ultimately we are able to make them dissipate when we live authentically and come into our own, being true to self.

I feel at home within myself and believe it has a great deal to do with those I choose to surround myself with, my circle. At the end of the day we only really need love and understanding. Unconditional love from those who matter. The greatest thing about being an independent strong woman in her 50’s is that the only thing I require in life now is love.

I have been blessed with two amazing kids, a family that is like no other, a great job, a comfortable home and friends who would be there at a moments notice if I needed them.

My advice to younger women is simple.
Love yourself, first and foremost!
Stop worrying, you will do just fine!
Always follow your heart, it will lead you to where you need to be.
Stuff doesn’t matter at the end of the day, love does!

Get off Facebook now and then and spend a day walking in nature with someone you keep saying you want to spend time with. I promise you it will soothe your soul and leave your heart feeling full.

Thank you Chris for connecting in person and giving me the inspiration to continue to share who I am with those who matter! You truly are a Woman of Wisdom!

Svaha!

Tracy signiture

 

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Back to Basics ~

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IMG_6835I have had a great deal of inner dialog lately that seems to surface at unexpected times during my day. It feels like my subconscious is sending out warning signals, interrupting my thought process, trying to remind me to stay connected. I have been in deep thought about what I want and how I am going to achieve it, physically, spiritually, mentally, financially and in love. Times up, todays the day!

The physical part is easy…just do it. Put your shoes on and go! Lately I have lost my connection with that feeling of being exhilarated by movement. I crave it! I am starting to understand why.

“Hi my name is Tracy Westerholm and I am addicted to massive amounts of social media!” There I said it. Social Media has been the instigator to my disconnect. Too much time with my face in my phone engulfed in every iPhone app related to connecting with others, which has made me feel disconnected with myself and oddly enough…others!

WARNING RUN ON SENTENCE AHEAD…

Lets be honest all the social media that is out there is actually NOT allowing us to connect with one another up close and personal! I don’t have time after I log in to Facebook and check my messages, upload a pic or two, say hi to a few friends, BBM the handsome dude back East, answer my Text Messages, scroll Instagram, WhatsApp my non iPhone friends, check out who checked me out on OkCupid, answer my regular Email (not one but 4 accounts) Facetime my daughter in the other room, Skype, Snapchat, Pinterest, download a new song from iTunes, listen to it, YouTube the latest cool video, MapMyRun but now I am so tired…I don’t run! Good God no wonder I don’t have time to meet you for coffee! I need a nap just reading that!

I am deactivating ( <~a true addict) distancing myself from Facebook (insert gasp here) and although I know I will go back at some point, I need this brake break. (<~ thanks Bon…see I need your balance…come back!) I need to fall back in love with me, so I have taken a few steps to unplug all the distractions that are preventing me from becoming a better me. I need to find my focus.

Reconnecting with my spirituality has also been on my mind, but has been clouded by the chaos that I have allowed to surround me. I need to reconnect with what is important to me. I need to listen to my heart without all the distractions of my head.

Financially I am starting to feel in control. It is about balancing needs and wants. Having the desire and drive to achieve short and long term goals you set is critical in seeing them to fruition. If you don’t set these goals you lose sight of where you are heading. Having spent the last year working at Envision Financial I have become very much aware of what is important in finding a balance in my financial life. I have also experienced first hand how having a plan in place helps you reach your goals, no matter what they are. I love my job and the women I work with, they are so willing to share their knowledge and support with one another.

Mentally I strive to be in a place that makes sense. I think too much. Although I am ready to take on whatever comes my way it can be daunting at times. I remind myself ~ It’s how we react to tough situations that makes us truly who we are, building our character along the way. I think all of us need to take a mental vacation from everything to see clearly what we need to change. I know I do, I am.

Love! I can’t write anything without there being an underlying voice of love, it’s who I am. It truly is all we really need. Loving unconditionally without boundaries or restrictions is the purest form of love. I have struggled over the years to understand what I want and need in regard to love. I think I may be searching for a moving ship. Some days I sink, other days I float.

One thing I know for sure is that I need my girlfriends! Female energy is nurturing. When I  walk next to one of my girlfriends, whether my heart is heavy or light, whether I have tears of sadness or joy they always seem to balance my energy with theirs making us feel empowered and able to take on the world once again!

Have a wonderful long weekend everyone! Be safe and connect with someone up close and personal, it matter!

Svaha ~

Tracy signiture

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Life is Fleeting…

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IMG_4459We can’t go anywhere without reading a quote of some sort telling us to Live, Love or Laugh, do this, say that. Facebook is notorious for messages, so much so that even I have stopped reading all of them because my time has become so precious. My house is filled with messages…”Inspire” ~ “Freedom” ~ “Life needs more green lights!” Quotes are little snippets of thoughts that are supposed to makes us stop and think, even if for a nano second. Are the quotes becoming too frequent to absorb? Have we become desensitized to inspiration because of them? Does anyone actually contemplate their meaning anymore? Do we stop and smell the roses at all or are we all just drones who work 9-5, eat sleep and do it all again day in and day out. Where has the Whimsy gone? I want Whimsy! “What is yours will not pass you by” <~~~~ bullshit! It’s passing us all by because we all have our heads down in our message screen oblivious to the world around us! No one wants to take chances anymore. When was the last time you had eye contact with someone that made your stomach flutter! When was the last time someone said something to you that actually made you think? We are all too tired to even be tired anymore.

If you want to be inspired, spend some time in admiration of the elderly. They were once sitting right here thinking where has the time gone? I’ve been wondering how my kids could possibly be teenager! Where has the time gone? I am heading toward being ‘the elderly’ as I speak! Time flies when you’re having fun and news flash…even when you aren’t! So be in the moment and be grateful for each one you have!

I have really been affected by a couple of elderly men who come into my work and spend time chatting with me. They feel like real men who have lived, loved and laughed I am certain of it. They remind me each time I see them that life is fleeting and we don’t know when our time will be up. One has his lovely wife still with him, the other was not so lucky. Both get the biggest smile I can give when I see them walk through the door. They’re grateful to be here, living another day with their health and enjoying each moment. I have always loved older men, something about them that melts my heart. They have this silent, knowing look about them. They don’t need to boast or brag about what they did or who they are or what they’ve got. They are content with keeping from where they came to themselves. I can tell by the look in their eyes that they have a secret ember flickering inside that once lit up a room!

Anthony always starts our visit off with “you’re beautiful” and then he reaches out and touches my hand gently and smiles. I love Anthony! He told me to go for what I wanted, not to worry or think about it, whether it was a man I had my eye on or a new path in life! He brightens up my day and reminds me I can do anything I set my mind to. He said “If a man doesn’t treat you kindly and take his garbage out then move on after you konk him over the head!” <~~~~ his words not mine. Anthony is 83;) “Treat’em rough and tell’em nothing!” was advice from my Nana to me in regard to men! I think Anthony would have gotten a charge out of my Nana. I think the elderly and by elderly I mean over 80, think we aren’t made like they used to be. They have the wisdom to be calm and mellow. I agree. Times were tougher, you had to suck it up to survive. You didn’t give up because it wasn’t a choice. You did what needed to be done or you were done. Character building days!

I think we have a lot to learn from those who were in our shoes not too long ago. If you take the time to find out what they wish they had done different or what they wouldn’t have changed, we might all live a little more and worry a little less!

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Life is fleeting…find your passion and start sharing it before you find yourself with the feeling of regret and wonder of what would have been if you had just taken that step.

Here are a few of my favourite quotes that have made me think in the last little while.

“You’re imperfect and you’re wired for struggle but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~Brene Brown

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…and just one more that made me giggle~

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Svaha ~

Tracy signiture

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Svaha Spirit Series ~ Rachael Chatoor

Breast Cancer Awareness Month is October as you all know. I wanted to share with you Rachael Chatoor’s Video of Inspiration! Rachael and I have never met…yet! She is a girlfriend who inspires me when I go see her via her Facebook page. I stop in often to have my girl-power musical interlude or read some heart felt words, she always has both on her page. Rachael is a woman whose beauty is deep and voice is one I could listen to all day! Thanks for sharing YOU Rachael with me. I wanted to share Rachael with YOU today!

Svaha~

Standing all the Way (Pink Ribbon) I’m going to fight it!! 

For more information please visit ~

Fuck Cancer.com

The Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation 

Breast Cancer Awareness via Facebook 

rachaelpachelwasmyname.blog

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Lead the Change ~

When I originally saw this picture on Facebook I had to share it with all my friends because I loved the quote. I googled The African Yoga Project, which I wrote about yesterday on our Sunday Svaha Spirit Series if you want to be inspired! I have always wanted to join a Yoga class but never seem to find the time, now I plan on making the time because of this project!

Inner Peace and Well-being are what we all strive for, isn’t it? No matter where you live or what you do, race, religion, gender, marital status, we could all benefit from being balanced internally! From within is where our lives are guided…in my opinion.

“What is your gift and are you giving it away?” Everyday we have opportunities to share what we have with those around us. Giving ~ we ‘have’ to give, it’s contagious and changes the energy that surrounds not only the one who gives but the one who receives as well. It creates a ripple effect, an energy that radiates good feelings. I am not just referring to the giving of material items.

“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” Your gift is as unique as you are. An Artist for example has the gift of creativity, he is able to use his imagination or simply recreate what his eyes see before him. A writers strings the perfect combination of words together that can inspire, captivate, seduce, provoke thought, create change or simply allow us to get lost for a moment in time. A Doctor gives the gift of life or helps us understand when it’s taken away. The Elderly give the gift of life experience to younger generations. Children give the gift of pure naivety we all love and miss as we mature. Each of us is born into this world with a gift worthy of giving, whether it be a story, life experience, support, advice, opinion, love or a simple hug.

Give a smile. Touch someones heart with a kind gesture. Compliment a stranger and see what happens. Encourage someone who appears to be struggling. A few kind words has a way of giving someone the inspiration to go the distance when they didn’t think they could. Giving ones self is so easy and basic.

When you feel balanced internally life flows more naturally. Inner peace and well being starts from within, sometimes it can’t be seen but it can be felt by those around you by the energy you radiate. Yoga is a great start in the right direction!

Lead the Change!

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Love and the Chance of Rejection

The Universe works in mysterious ways. We live and learn. Sometimes the lesson is obvious and sometimes it isn’t. I don’t know if it’s years of auditioning that gave me the tools to not take rejection too personally, but I’m glad I don’t. (most of the time) I am human though!

Rejection is never an easy pill to swallow especially when it has to do with the opposite sex. Unlike applying for a job it isn’t as simple as you didn’t have enough experience or you can’t speak another language, it’s personal. Rejection sometimes forces us to look in the mirror and reevaluate who we are. It can deflate us for a while but also gives us time to change and grow. When we are ready, willing and able we try again. Distraction is sometime just what the doctor ordered, however it can also deviate us from the lesson we need to learn.

We have all heard the line “It’s not YOU it’s ME” and as much as I’d like to believe it isn’t ME, sometimes it is. Every now and then someone points out the not so obvious to us and we learn a few things about who we are. We can either grow and expand in that moment or we can close our eyes and believe it’s not us, it’s them! My only advice, dig deep or you’re going again! If you find yourself in the same or similar situation again and again, chances are you’re just not getting it. Dig Deeper! Nobody is perfect! We are all far from it…which is a good thing!

When we do finally relax and let go of all our baggage and issues and accept ourselves for who we are flaws and all, we have a much better chance of finding real love. When real true love comes our way, no one can stop it. There is no rejection. There is passion, want and need all mixed up in an intoxicating concoction waiting for both male and female energies to allow them to mix!

When two people meet and open their hearts to love it’s a beautiful thing. Love and taking a chance of rejection is all part of finding the right person.

I came across this on Facebook and I had to share it. Isaac definitely lifted my spirits in regard to love after watching it! Although I am not a fan of public proposals this was creative and unique! How could she possibly say no to him! I loved her reaction!

P.S ~ It’s my daughter Jordan’s Birthday today, she turns 11! She is the most beautiful little girl human on this planet! (her friends are pretty darn cute too) She is an old soul that teaches me about life each and everyday we share together. One thing I hope I have taught her is to always take a chance on love in-spite of rejection.

Take Chances in life Jo! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL! Sweet Kiss

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Flirting with Danger


This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Flirting with Danger

It was early spring, yet it had been unseasonably hot for the past week. Preparing for bed she opened the window to let in some fresh air and hopefully force out the thick, stale air that had risen to collect in her second story bedroom.

Her three kids were spending the entire weekend with their dad in his condo across town. She had been looking forward to having this time all to herself, to do her favourite thing – write.

She had been toying with the idea of writing erotica for some time. Recently she’d written a few short erotic stories to post in her blog. The response was encouraging. Her “likes” on Facebook increased and her readership peaked with these types of sexy stories. Ah, Facebook. She loved Facebook. It had allowed her to reconnect with so many people from her past. Many were guys she had dated at one time but had long ago lost touch with. It was fun to see where they were in their lives now. She had even met up with a couple of them…to see if there were still any sparks between them. Why not? She was single again and so were they. No sparks. Not yet anyway.

Facebook was how she met her “friend” Devon. He was “friends” with someone else that she knew on Facebook. One day he followed a link she’d posted to her blog and read one of her stories; one of her erotic stories. He was immediately intrigued and started to read through all of her older archived stories. Wow, this woman is sexy! He went through every picture in her photo albums (what some refer to as “creeping” a page) and he was delighted to see that she was beautiful too. She was naturally photogenic and often flashed an amazing smile. He loved how, in many of the photos, she looked directly into the camera with what he perceived as a sexy glint in her eye.  It made his pulse quicken. He had to find out more. He started sending her direct messages and was excited when she responded to him right away. They began emailing each other back and forth with long, long letters full of humour and flirting. She was so forthright and honest, it took his breath away. The emails became more and more intimate and before long they were talking on the phone with each other for hours on end. She desperately wanted to meet him in person.

He knew that could never happen. Never.

He always had a quick, believable excuse why it couldn’t work for him to meet with her in person whenever she led the conversation that way. It annoyed her a little but she decided to let it go. All in good time, she thought, and put it out of her mind.

He encouraged her writing. He liked to write himself he said. In fact, he had written down a dream he had, well more like a day dream, but it was a day dream featuring her. Would she like to read it? Hell yes, she’d said, so he emailed it to her. It was very erotic;  his fantasy began with him watching her sleep. In his story her eyes were closed and she was unaware that he was standing over her – watching her. She mustn’t wake up.

This was her kind of writing. She loved it. She loved it so much she even felt inspired to write the next chapter of the story; the story from her perspective. She began her version with her female character also in bed, eyes closed, pretending to sleep. In her story the woman always knew what was happening. She was still in control and loving every moment of it. His story sparked her creativity. Not only did she feel inspired, she felt that the writing itself was pretty good. She could imagine them working together and creating something together in this format. Imagine. The same story but told from his perspective, and then told from her perspective. People will love it! She was so stoked.

She devoted the whole weekend while her kids were away to writing – writing erotic fantasies with the idea that he could write his male perspective to the same story. What a great writing exercise. Who knows where it might lead? The fact that she still hadn’t met him gnawed at her a little but she dismissed the thought and decided instead that it was probably better for their creative process not to meet at this time. There – rationalized!

She switched off her bed side lamp. It took her eyes a minute to adjust to the dark room but when the shadowy outline of her furniture came into focus she adjusted her position so she could look toward her open window. Her eyes felt heavy as she watched her curtain move gently, hypnotically in the breeze.  It was a relief to feel cool air gently waft across her cheek. She would sleep better now. She always woke with a headache if her room was too warm. Her bed felt so cozy and she was utterly spent from a full day of writing. Her lips formed a small satisfied smile as she drifted off. Her breathing became rhythmic and deep. In and out. In and out.

She didn’t see his gloved hand slowly move her curtain all the way open. She didn’t wake when the street light shone directly across her face. He never made a sound as he moved towards her bed. While she slept he stood only a few inches away – watching her.

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Latest News

Scanning the internet for what’s new in the world can be a real eye opener.  My conclusion is that people are weird.  I was going to call this post “Only in America” but the more I looked around the web the more I realized that people are weird all over the world and it isn’t just an American thing at all. Phew?

The first story that caught my eye was about a man who had his electronic cigarette blow up in his face.  Just when you think you are doing the right thing…
This poor guy finally committed to quit smoking, bought an electronic cigarette to get him past the craving and boom! It blew up in his face, taking all his teeth out and leaving him with severe burns to his face. He lives in a place called “Niceville” for crying out loud, had been in the war in Vietnam, and still this is what gets him! Poor guy!

Then I discovered a story about a man who had a heart attack in a restaurant called…wait for it…Heart Attack Grill.  Yep, it’s a real place (in Vegas mind you) where the waitresses dress like nurses in a bad porno, anyone over 350 lbs eats for free and the owner sports a lab coat and stethoscope and calls himself Doctor Jon Basso.  Sigh. It was only a matter of time.

Further surfing dug up the story that Facebook has a new app that allows users to post a status update or video message to friends from beyond the grave. With the app If I Die, a person posts a written message, a video, or both, and then chooses three trustees who will confirm their death before the post goes up on their Facebook wall.  Is it just me or does that seem a little creepy?  I can imagine some really bad scenarios coming from this.  What if you post a video and say a bunch of stuff that you feel at the time but then years later you mature and your outlook on life changes but before you remember to update your If I Die video you get hit by a bus.  Awkward! Well not for you, cause you’d be dead, but for your friends and family it could be. What if you write a deep dark secret that you only want revealed after you are gone but those three “trustees” of yours get together and, as a joke, confirm that you are dead when you’re not and suddenly your secret is out?  Oops!

Digging deeper, I discovered that some stupid bar in Buffalo, New York was running a “beads for boobs” contest where whoever gets the most beads wins breast augmentation surgery. Not sure how you go about collecting said beads but judging by the level of tastelessness of the competition, I’m sure I don’t want to.

Next I read that a Swedish hospital is looking for nurses who are “TV-series hot.”  Yeah, cause that’s important to your health while you are in the hospital.  WTH?

A dead dog was offered a credit card, a man was snorting cocaine while driving on the highway and a spilled beer sparked a beating death.  Seriously?  What is going on out there?  That’s it; I’m going back to looking at pretty pictures on Pinterest.

 

 

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Do Vancouver Men Really Suck?

I was watching Global News the week of Valentines and they had a series called ‘The Things We Do For Love’ which covered all the basis from the pursuit to married with child. Did you know there was such a thing as a wedding proposal planner for the bride groom who doesn’t want her his special moment to be anything less than perfect? Is that starting off on the wrong foot, trying to be perfect? Are women putting that much pressure on their man to be perfect? Are both parties setting themselves up for disappointment in the future when the honeymoon stage is over? Or do they just want a little taste of the fairy-tale while it’s still attainable? I’ve written about Fairy-tales & Happy Endings! (Fairy-tales are make belief, and Happy Endings will cost ya!) Have women lost faith that the male energy can create and orchestrate his own moment…and it be just right?

The series included a serendipitous meeting of a couple who met online by mistake when an email was sent to the wrong address, who are now married with a 2 yr old. Unpredictable and unplanned! Su-weet story. Who cares how long they will last, what’s important is that they took a chance, embraced the unknown and jumped in with both feet. I wish them years of happiness for doing just that!

* romantic sigh *

They also had a Match Maker who thinks men and women hide behind their computers which doesn’t allow them the chance to get out and mingle like they used to. I agree with her wholeheartedly! Nobody talks face to face anymore, communication is via Facebook, Text, Skype, Twitter, E-Mail, BBM, iMessage, MSN ect. There is simply nothing better than standing close to a man, staring into his eyes as he speaks to you. (insert deep inhale here)

There was attention brought to an article in Vancouver Magazine “Do Men in Vancouver Suck?” and although they only included a few female opinions they all agreed they do! In the article the women said single men in Vancouver were passive with no plan, uninteresting and uninterested. Uninteresting is such a general statement to make about someone. There is someone for everyone, so to say someone is uninteresting doesn’t mean they are to everyone. Uninteresting to a specific woman or man perhaps but certainly not to all. Uninterested is also a very general statement. You can’t fake interest in someone, you either are or you aren’t. It’s such a personal attraction and sometimes there’s simply a lack of chemistry so it really doesn’t matter what you do there isn’t a connection. Build a bridge and get over it!

Male energy as you all know intrigues me. I have always had lots of great man-friends. I relate to men and understand them to a certain degree. They are far from perfect as are women. When we come to terms with that, they’re much easier to navigate as are we. I am not sure if men are passive because they have no plan, I think men have slowly been put in the back seat because women of this generation have goals of their own to achieve. Husbands and family are no longer their number 1 focus in many cases. ‘Don’t make someone your priority when they treat you as an option’ works both ways! Women are self sufficient and don’t need men anymore. There are even ways around conception that don’t require a man in the same room. So why wouldn’t men just sit back and watch women succeed without them? Woman can be unapproachable, and lets face it no one likes rejection. Men find comfort in their man-cave watching the game with their buddies, eating hot wings and laugh their asses off with no pressure to preform in a socially acceptable manner. Women find comfort sharing stories with their girlfriends over a glass of wine, laughing their asses off just being themselves. The trick is to be able to do what makes you comfortable with or without your partner in the room, it should be no different whether they are there or not. You need to get out and do what YOU love, and if you’re joined by someone you dig perfect, if not perfect! Just let it be…

I have met some great men over the last couple of years, a good % of them have not been available because of circumstances at the time we meet. Timing is important for sure. Everyone is just doing their best in their situation, trying to navigate life. That can be a difficult task on its own, let alone adding kids and jobs, personal time, living arrangements ect ect ect. Life is more complicated than its ever been for men and women, and I think in time things work out the way it’s meant to be. We all just need to settle down and relax, take one patient step at a time and don’t put so much pressure on one another to meet a socially acceptable time line. Be you and allow the man you have your eye on to be who he is, authentic and true. Follow your heart and eventually you will know if it’s worth exploring further. Accept those who walk into your life for who they are NOW, you have no control or shouldn’t want to control who they unfold to be in time.

When you just start living your own life, things just seem to come together. Start walking, you might be surprised who joins you. Get rid of your expectation because there is no guarantee how long each person will walk along with you in this crazy thing we call life.

I personally think the men in Vancouver are just reacting to the women in Vancouver in their own way. You get what you give in most cases.

 

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High School Years in Australia


Last week I wrote about being in elementary school in a suburb of Sydney, Australia.  The time I spent in Australia was short, only 4 ½ years, but those years had a profound effect on who I am today.

High school begins in grade seven in Australia.  I was very fortunate to be chosen to go to St. George Girls High School.  It was, and still is, a selective high school which means students write a particular exam and are accepted into the school based on their academic merit. (Did I just hear you utter a confused “huh”?  Whatever! They let me in!)

St. George Girls High School has a reputation for excellence and a proud heritage since it’s beginning in 1916 and I was very proud to have been a part of it while I attended.

A highlight of going to that school was the close bond made with the other girls.  We were all so terrified on our first day.  We were entering into unknown and apparently quite strict territory and I believe this helped form some of our close and lasting connections.  I’ll never forget that first day of school.  My classmates and I all arrived in our crisp full summer uniform with our hems at the specified “knee” length and our high white socks pulled up and our black shoes polished.  If our hair was past shoulder length then it was tied back, off of our faces and pulled away from our wide eyes.  We were eager to please.  By the next year we had relaxed a little. You can see in our class photo that we had found ways to push the boundaries a little.  Our skirts were shorter and most of us had chic new short hair cuts.  We’d also plucked the hell out of our eye brows and were wearing a small amount of subtle makeup.  Mascara and lip gloss was about all that we could get away with then as I recall.  Still, we wore our uniforms proudly.  We were lectured on how we represented the whole school when in those uniforms on and off the school grounds.  The same concept would appear in my life again when I worked as a flight attendant many years later.

I'm second row from bottom and fourth in from right

I'm second row from bottom and second in from right

We moved back to Canada when I was just starting my 9th year.  I had a wonderful group of girl friends at school that gave me a fantastic going away party.  On my last day of school everyone signed their name on my white uniform shirt. What the heck, I was never going to wear it again.  This made me both sad and thrilled at the same time.  I had such an amazing time at that all girls’ school and I will always cherish the fond memories I have of that time in my life.  Memories like singeing off my eye lashes and arm hair when lighting the gas ovens in cooking class, memories of going to swim meets where one of our students, Michelle Ford, won everything because she was a future Olympic gold medal winning swimmer, memories of competing with the gymnastics club, of buying those delicious vanilla slices at the canteen, learning Indonesian and Latin (I remember learning but I forget all of it now), of the horrible bloomers that were part of our sports uniform, and of hiking our uniform up and pouring baby oil all over our legs to tan during lunch hour.  Yes, it was the seventies and we loved our baby oil no SPF anything for us!

I can’t help but wonder how my life would have been different if I had stayed and graduated from SGGHS.  Who would I be today if I had stayed?  Would I have had an influence on the friends I made there and if so would their lives be any different today?

I’ve recently been able to re-connect with a few of these girls through the magic of Facebook (I love you Facebook!).  My closest friend from those days and I have been chatting up a storm on FB.  We’re even planning on how we can get together in person.  Thirty four years have melted away and we are giggling fourteen year old girls again.  Sweet!

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The Angel in the Clock ~

I was visiting my friend Tim via Facebook the other day and saw a post on his page with the words; The Angel in the Clock…A Fairytale about Time. How could I not click on that. Life doesn’t always give us a fairytale ending but when we do believe in childhood dreams, romance or everyday miracles of life, it gives us hope. It’s the pure innocence of believing which makes us all smile from deep within. When we stop believing in things that make our life rich and full, we stop living.

I visited The Angel in the Clock blog and loved what I read. I instantly wanted to share it on Tara Cronica. I connected with Mike Uriegas the Producer/Director and here we are! “Looking to give a stronger meaning to his work, Mike is currently developing a not-for-profit business model dedicated exclusively in sourcing funds to produce advertising for charities around the world as a mean to promote the work of thousands of people that are trying to make this world a better place.” My kinda guy!

The Angel in the Clock team is a group of outstanding, talented, passionate individuals all with a common purpose of making a difference in the lives of others. It doesn’t get much better than that!

The AngeL in the Clock

“This story follows the adventure of Amelia, an infirm girl that wants to stop time as a way to solve her delicate condition. While doing so, she meets the angel Malachi.

Malachi draws Amelia to the Fields of Time, a place beyond the mortal realm where hundreds upon hundreds of clock-castles float in the sky. In a quest to discover why time cannot be stopped, why life is worth fighting for, Amelia’s life will change forever.

A story about faith and dreams that will take your breath away.”

Enjoy the teaser…

The Angel in the Clock is a visually beautiful and audibly intriguing 4-minute animated short film promoting the cause of Childhood Cancer Canada, the country’s leading foundation dedicated to funding national research while delivering critical education, community, and connectivity programs to children with cancer and their families.

Take a moment to check out their site, you will be inspired just as I was to spread the word! It only takes one person to make a difference, it’s your turn!

The Angel in the Clock.

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Svaha Spirit Series ~ Louie Schwartzbert – Gratitude

A friend of mine on Facebook shared this video and I couldn’t not pass it on to you. You may have seen it but it’s worth watching over and over just for the visual alone. I love TED talks so I wasn’t at all surprised this was one. My favourite so far! Thanks for sharing it Dan!

Louie Schwartzberg is an award winning cinematographer, director and producer whose notable career spans more than three decades providing breathtaking imagery for film, television, commercials and documentaries. He is the only cinema photographer who has been literally shooting 24 hours a day, 7 days a week continuously for more than 30 years! Life is a gift.

“Open your heart to all these blessings and let them flow through you, that everyone you will meet on this day will be blessed by you, just by your eyes, by your smile, by your touch, just by your presence. Let the gratefulness overflow into blessing all around you, then it will really be a good day.”  

Puts life in perspective doesn’t it!

Svaha ~

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Inspiration is All Around Us!

I was inspired by Bonnie and John while visiting them in Vernon last week. It’s so obvious when you’re in their presence that they’re still so in-love. I found myself smiling each time I caught them having a moment. It’s awesome to see your best friend happily married to a great man that you absolutely love! They are definitely not edging towards a statistic in their marriage. You can see in their eyes that they appreciate the time they have together. Seizing moments and making each one count. Love is inspiring!

l am inspired by a friend of mine Ryan. I posted about his blog a couple of times when he took an adventure to Africa to become a Safari Guide. Ryan in Africa. He lives life on the edge…his edge, which is much different from everyone else’s! He has such a thirst for life that never quite gets quenched. He’s definitely living while he’s alive! When you’re in his company you can’t help but want to touch him in hopes that his infectious attitude rubs off on you, even just a little bit! He said he “lives life with no fear, apologizes for nothing, doesn’t regret his mistakes, learns from them because sometimes his mistakes produce the best results!” That’s inspiring! Love the man and can’t wait to see where his next adventure takes him. Ryan inspires me!

I am inspired by my friend Kirk who I admire for leaving a great career in special effects in the film industry for music. He followed his passion for music making a career out of it. Sound Lounge Productions a recording studio was born from Kirk following his dream. He took a chance in life that not many would have had the courage to do. Kirk spends his day with creative souls who also have a dream that he helps them reach, how sweet is that! Check out Kirks band SWANK, you’ll love them! He is living proof that if you believe in yourself, work hard and do what you love…they will come! Kirk inspires me continually! He was kind enough to take time out of his busy day to show my kids and I around his studio, it was awesome! His tools are drums, guitars and lots of fun buttons how fun is that! You choice is looking good on ya Kirk! Thank you for the music lesson we loved it immensely! Following your dream is inspiring!

So if you take the time to open your eyes there truly is inspiration all around you! These are just a few things that caught my eye last week. Inspiration comes in so many different forms…what inspires you? Care to share some inspiration with us? Inspiration moves us in the right direction…

I saw this posted on Facebook. It basically summed it up for me and although you may have seen it, it is something you couldn’t possibly read too many times.

Svaha ~

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Actions Speak Louder than Words ~

Sometimes you just have a feeling about someone and before you know it you’re sharing stories and a coffee with them. There is an immediate connection. When this happens so naturally it’s meant to be. I connected with a friend from Facebook this week who I had never met in person. I have known both of her brothers for 20 years. I mentioned we should meet for coffee and within a week we did. Lots of times words are put out there but they never go further than words. Rhonda and I spent a couple of hours talking about life and love. We’ve had similar experiences over the years so we could relate to one another very easily. We both agreed that Actions in life speak louder than Words.

I am a woman who loves words. I’ve been caught up in them on many occasions; in writing and romance. Words spoken from the lips of the right man can be captivating. We all crave words. When the actions of those words are not present the meaning disappears. ‘Actions speak louder than word’ is as basic as ‘Do unto others as you would have others do unto you’. Words followed by the appropriate action or intent of the words is the ultimate combination!

When there is truth in words spoken actions naturally follow. Everything falls into place with no effort. Its like floating down a river with no paddle. The path of least resistance is chosen for us. It just feels right even if you can’t explain it. When you look back you can connect the dots of what got you there, ultimately it was because someone took action.

Words come from the surface of who you are or who you think you are. Actions come from being authentic with good intention. Conviction is the true test of whether or not your words match who you believe yourself to be. I think too many people release words without having thought about what the impact will be. Others articulate to manipulate. It’s the only way they feel they can get what they want.

When words are spoken purely to stroke ones ego they mean nothing. Ego can transform any word into meaningless jargon. If ones actions don’t eventually match their words we naturally start to lose interest. We all have our limit to how long we are willing to wait to see if any action will be taken. Word without meaning are simply random letters grouped together without purpose.

I am not saying you can’t change your mind once spoken words that come from the heart, it’s your prerogative. I am saying that when actions don’t natually follow words, perhaps those words should have been thought about more deeply before they are spoken.

Action is eloquence.  ~William Shakespeare

All know the way; few actually walk it.  ~Bodhidharma

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Navigating the Minefields of Dating!

I didn’t know it would be so difficult to date when I became eligible. It’s much more complicated than I remember when I was younger. No wonder there is a relationship status on Facebook that states ‘It’s complicated’ because it is! I haven’t met anyone who has not been complicated! There are schedules to consider, kids, parenting styles, deal makers and breakers, dogs, jobs, sports, compatibility, life style differences, distance and timing has to be just right…or does it? It doesn’t help when your best friend is your last partner. Try to explain that one to a potential date. They can’t help but have suspicions about the two of you getting back together at any given moment! Everyone seems to despise their ‘X’, which is hard when you really like yours! It’s hard to get to know someone when you barely have time for yourself. It honestly amazes me that there are second marriages let alone relationships between singles who are either separated or divorced.

You have to trust someone with your heart! Not everyone has good intention so it’s hard not to get discouraged! Are you getting the picture, it’s not that easy to date! It truly is a minefield that’s hard to navigate. I am so thankful to have girlfriends to talk with, be advised by and to have a male perspective that knows me better than any man out there! Which hasn’t been yet, but could also be something hard to maneuver with someone who doesn’t know me very well!

On the bright side of dating, there are lots of intelligent handsome great guys out there, who understand kid schedules and appreciate truth and honesty and who are eager to experience life in the moment. I’ve learned you just have to stop looking. If you go about your day they will come into your life when the time is right. Dating in your 40’s is all about acceptance and going with the flow, baggage included because we all have at least a carry on, some have truck loads!

At the end of the day, it’s really just all about enjoying everyone for who they are and exploring those personalities that intrigue you. Honesty is crucial and necessary even if the other person needs time to chew on it for a while. It’s a gamble like everything else in life, but I think worth the risks involved. Not everyone is honest, honourable or interested in the same things. Sometimes he’s just not that into you, or you into him and that’s okay! Timing is so important, it can turn a potential hot love affair into forever.

I am not trying to paint a negative picture of what its like being single. The experience is as unique as each of us. I truly love being on my own…most of the time. I’ve said before that I don’t need a man in my life, but would definitely love the right one. Everything takes time and the most important part of being set free in the world is enjoying the journey along the way. Trust your instincts, follow your heart, explore the possibilities of what if…you might be surprised at what you find!

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Svaha Spirit Series ~ The Spirit of Giving

Now would be a good time to look around your house and see how much you have received over the last couple of days. It’s embarrassing really, that we receive so much, and give so little. I was very touched by this video when I saw it posted on Facebook. I give in many different ways, from lending to empower an entrepreneur in a developing country through Kiva to supporting We Give a Damn by purchasing a I Give a Damn T-Shirt to spread the message about Bullying. This year my family bought Tim Horton gift cards to hand out to the less fortunate in our community, providing a warm meal. I think it is so important to help those in need when you can, and especially important to get your children involved. The Spirit of Christmas is the Spirit of Giving. Narayanan Krishnan is someone who completely understands this spirit!

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Svaha Spirit Series: We Day ~

Marc and Craig Kielburger, founders of Free The Children’s We Day, came to Vancouver last Thursday to join forces with students from B.C who are all leaders in their own communities! Participants included Al Gore, Martin Sheen, Hedley, Ethan Zohn from Survivor, Colbie Caillat, Rick Hanson, Spencer West, Phillippe Cousteau, and Reverend Jesse L. Jackson! What an inspiration! It’s never too early to get involved and never to late to be inspired! These guys are inspiring our youth of today to stand up, speak out and believe that they too can make a difference, NOW!

It’s more than just one day of celebration and inspiration. It’s a one-of-a-kind event and part of an innovative year-long program created to celebrate the power of young people to create positive change in the world.

The event kicks off a year-long program of action, called We Schools in Action. We Day is free of charge and open to any school that wants to be part of the experience. In exchange, each school group that attends is asked to make a commitment to follow the We Schools in Action program, which includes taking local and global action throughout the year.

Since 2007, youth from across North America have come together to discover the passion they have in common, to celebrate their successes, to become aware of new challenges, and to build lasting friendships. The We Day events feature speeches and performances from global leaders and social activists, cultural icons and entertainers.” Quoted directly from the We Day website!  Enjoy!

We Day!
Free the Children!
Facebook/We Day!

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24 hours of Online Dating…for Research!

I’ve said before “Don’t knock it til ya try it”, so I tried it, sort of. I am talking about Internet Dating Sites. There are lots to chose from, eHarmony, Plenty of fish, Match.com, It’s Just Lunch, to name a few. I decided to join one, not to date but to find out if any guys have met someone compatible. I put up a picture and filled in the questionnaire. I put right in my profile that I was a blogger doing research looking for information, good or bad, about personal experiences with online dating. I made it clear that I had no intention of ever meeting anyone in person. Almost immediately I received instant messages which made me laugh, first was a 26 yr old, seriously I could be your MOTHER! I forgot to adjusted my age range! The default is 18-99! I quickly changed it to 30-32 much more realistic! lolol!

After about 10 minutes of that I panicked and immediately wanted to delete my profile but when I tried it said I couldn’t for 24 hours! OMG-24-HOURS! This was a terrible mistake! I was getting instant message pop up after pop up from different profile names, none of which were actually names, mountainman, execxxx, tall1100, all wanting to IM me. No good could possibly come of that! It’s worse than texting, I hate texting! It was like facebook when I didn’t know how to turn off the email notification that came to my phone every time someone poked me! And I assure you poking on a dating site is nothing like Facebook! lol There is an option that allows you to hid your photo and only share it with potential dates. Identity concealing? Hmmm, as much as I disagreed with it, I jumped on that option as soon as I could! After I hid my photo, Voila, no more messages! Phew! Without a photo its kind of like reading classified ads…boring. Not that I’am boring, but my profile was! lol

In general, I felt uncomfortable talking online to men I knew nothing about, they could potentially be axe murderers! Not that any of them are! The guys I communicated with were great and had a mix of good and bad experiences, just like regular dating. Some found love and others met some real wing nuts! One thing all the guys could agree on was not everyone is as they appear in their photo! My advice, use a realistic picture, not one you want to look like or used to look like 10 years ago but a new one! Why lie, unless you don’t plan on ever meeting up in person! They may not say anything, but they’re going to notice the obvious misrepresentation! Women have been told for years that men don’t notice what we perceive as flaws unless we point them out, in this case it’s NOT a flaw to be YOU! Deception on the other hand is not a good way to start a relationship! Be happy with who you are and you will find a partner who will love you for who you are! Start out the way you mean to end and be honest!

The guys I communicated with changed my perspective, to some degree, it doesn’t seem as horrible or desperate as I might have first thought. There were the obvious guys who were just trolling looking for a good time, but just like meeting in person you have to kiss a few frogs to meet your prince charming! Here is an example of what one guy wrote me that made me giggle!

Quote:I’ve had lots of romantic relationships with people I met online. I married one and it lasted over 4 years, another lasted 6 months and was very passionate, and then others of shorter duration but very postive parts of my adult history.

The whole thing is terribly interesting. The two worst dates of my life were with women that were so gorgeous I could barely say hello when we met, and by the time we finished eating I couldn’t wait to be rid of them. One was drunk and vulgar and the other had table manners that were so bad I was embarrassed to be seen at the same table with her.

Then of course there were the ones whose photos were 10 years and 50 pounds ago. But I had invited them to dinner and didn’t want to make a scene so I kept smiling and picked up a big check”. anonymous (‘BIG Check’ lol)

There are positive and negatives to meeting on the internet, just as there are for meeting in person. For me there is nothing more magical than seeing someone in person who makes your heart beat faster. Chance meetings make us feel as though its destiny, meant to be, whereas internet dating seems premeditated in my opinion! Premeditated isn’t the best choice of words but I think you get what I am saying! Online you can eliminate a few things you wouldn’t want to deal with through your profile, such as drinkers/smokers but apparently not everyone is completely honest with their profiles as I was told by quite a few guys.

Thanks guys for your honesty and willingness to help out in the name of research. I wish you all success in finding your true love or whatever it is you’re looking for! I think you get out what you put into it, just like anything in life. If you’re really serious about online dating you should join one that meets with you in person to avoid any misconceptions.

I will add that not a minute past the 24 hour mark, my profile was deleted! I am too much of a romantic to meet a love interest online, for me it would have to be by chance, divine timing with eye contact, pheromones and natural chemistry!

Happy Dating Everyone! No, I didn’t meet the handsome dude on the left, (Bonnie had the nerve to say he’s wayyy to young for me and wrecked it!) I just liked the look in his eyes!

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How to Be Alone by Tanya Davis

Every now and then you find a real treasure on the internet! I love this video by filmmaker Andrea Dorfman, and poet/singer/songwriter, Tanya Davis. I personally love being alone but occasionally feel lonely. It’s not often we are really alone but I think we have all felt the pangs of loneliness at some point in our lives. This video put it all in perspective!

Thanks for sharing Nathan!

HOW TO BE ALONE by Tanya Davis

For more information on Tanya, go to http://www.tanyadavis.ca or visit her facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/p…
For more information on Andrea Dorfman, visit her facebook page http://www.facebook.com/pages/Andrea-…

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