On The Road to Reality…

door romantic

IMG_0066From where I have come is a question I ask myself often. Why am I here? What is my purpose, if not to live a life wrapped in true romantic love. It has taken me years to come to the realization that the path in which I have followed, is perhaps not going to lead me to where I dream of being…

Reality is like the devil in my world. Born Aquarius, I naturally look to the future. I live in a different world. I am a daydreamer, a night-dreamer and as far back as I can remember, I willingly escaped to the life my imagination created carefully in my head. I danced until dawn. I laughed until I cried. I kissed like it was goodbye. I loved with my heart and soul. I believed in true love and fairy tale romance. I lived it, inhaled it with every breath I took. My quest was simple…to capture ‘that’ feeling one gives you when you connect deeply through the windows of your soul. That look that makes you smile from a place so intimate your cheeks blush and skin heats from within.

I live in the clouds and spin my dream into interludes trying to capture a moment in time that makes my heart beat faster. The language of love. My imagination fulfills my romantic desires but I yearn for more than just those whimsical thoughts that floated by, way up high.

I have packed my bag lightly with a few belongings, mostly memories gone by, a leather bound notebook, a pencil to scribble my thoughts, a piece of jewelry I cherish and an old photograph that will remind me who I am. As I look around my space comes alive. My past flashes before my eyes like old movies playing on the projector in my mind.

I put my hand on the door in front of me feeling the energy that radiates behind it. This particular door will open when it’s ready. Until then I will stand close and feel its warmth pass through me. Like a child waiting to open a gift, the anticipation is overwhelming. For now, I will float among familiar ones that take me back to sift through the meanings that they brought forth to help create who I have become. Each one was placed in my path for a reason, a life lesson. You never know where a door will lead if you fear the unknown.

I sit on my cloud and contemplate what was and what will be. Each life experience or door I was courageous enough to venture through took part in making me who I am today as I pack my bag ready to come down from where I have called home since I was a child. It’s time.

I bow my head as I approach a new beginning with tears in my eyes of memories I hope never get lost in the shuffle of life. I savor each moment as I slowly reach forward and place my hand on the ornate worn knob. The moments I want to bring with me are safely placed at my side if I feel homesick, a familiar feeling as a child. There will always be a silver thread holding me to what I am not meant to let go.

The energy from behind the door waiting for me glows with a light so warm it almost feels like home. It distracts me from this moment like a future waiting to unfold.

So you see, I do know from where I’ve come. I need not know why I am here. My purpose is to be. True love is all around me. I will arrive when it is time. It is only now where I want to be in mind, body and spirit. I need not a daydream or fantasy in my life to feel full, reality can be as exciting as the world inside my mind.

Svaha ~

Tracy signiture

 

 

 

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My Life Starts When My Eyes Close ~

Do you ever feel like your life starts when your eyes close. I do. It’s when every single thing in my life is left up to my imagination. I can play dress up and live anything my mind is willing to create. I just let go of who I am and become what I chose.

I remember as far back as 7 years old, when I loved to go to bed just to enter into my imagination. It was a sense of freedom which was safe and full of adventure. I would create scenarios in my mind and see where I was willing to take them. I wasn’t trying to escape from somewhere I didn’t want to be, it was like playing dress up with endless possibilities! After a while its like an orchestrated dance, everything just flows naturally. Its like an alternate reality. Drifting off into your imagination before you slip into a deep sleep is one of my favourite things to do. And when done to the music of Enya it’s simply fantastic!

Albert Einstein

I am a dreamer, surrounded by fluff and clouds, it’s who I am. At times I wear rose coloured glasses and I like it that way. I dream vividly and love the feeling when I wake, having escaped into another world that I cannot control. When my eyes open, my imagination sits and waits for its turn to recreate where it left off. It follows me, seeping into my day to day without notice. My brief smile, far away stare or moment of peace is the only sign it leaves behind.

Our imaginations are being set aside and lost in our world of reality. For our imaginations to flourish we need to use them or we will forget how. Imagine that!

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