I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For…

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IMG_4498First I must ask…“Did I recently lose something?” Wasn’t my virginity, that was lost longggggg ago. My kids are still here so we’re good there. <—- kinda weird I mentioned virginity and kids right after the other but what the hell, they don’t read my blog. I haven’t technically ‘lost’ something so I must now determine what exactly it is that I am looking for? That’s the million dollar question! “What am I looking for?” If I could just figure that out I’d at least know where to look…right? I can hear Bonnie right now inside my head, gently whispering“Stop looking and let ‘it’ find you” and “If you could figure out what you wanted, you would get it!” True dat! Since I was a child I’ve had a difficult time choosing between two things. Making choices and not wonder about whether or not you made the right one is the hard part for me. Second guessing yourself takes you out of the moment! I am learning to follow the path my instincts lead me down with an open mind and heart. This doesn’t always work out but at least I am moving and not standing still. You know that feeling you get when you see something and you HAVE to have it? Those are life experiences jumping up and down trying to get your attention! Grab on with both hands and don’t let go! What could go wrong?

I have finally come to realize that I am not looking for something I have lost, what is behind me is not lost but let go of, there is a difference. I am looking for something different now, something that takes time and experience to be redefined by my life, age, circumstances and there is a lot more to it now than there was before. For instance, I gave up a career when I had kids, I did not lose it, it was a choice I made. I’ve let go of things in my life by choice and it’s trusting those choices that is important to be able to move forward in life. I gained life experience and lessons along the way by following my heart. I can’t compare what I had then with what I have now, I am different, life is different. I have been given a chance to start fresh in all areas of my life, a GIFT when looked at in the right perspective!

I don’t want anything permanent in my life anymore unless I get that feeling I mentioned, of having to have something that overpowers you with passion!

I would rather be naked standing with nothing than dressed in a beige life. Balance and Perspective!

I think everyone should take time on their own when they are at the redefining stage of their life. You have to allow yourself to let go before you can move forward and focus on the beginning of what is yet to come.

What I am looking for is becoming clearer with each life experience. When I find me…I will be ready for ‘it’! Some days I am deflated by reality which brings me crashing down from the cloud I call home, and other days I am floating effortlessly from a place so high it brings a smile to my face just writing these words to describe it. Balance and Perspective!

So here I sit once again open and honest with my life, sharing who I am with you because I know somewhere, someone can relate and I want you to know that you are not alone!

“Do Not Feel Lonely the Entire Universe is Inside You” ~ Rumi

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The Light that Shines…A Story for All.

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Tracy headshotI sat with tears steaming down my cheeks as I watched the empowering story of Jill Brzezinski-Conley. I felt a warm glow each time I saw her beauty grace the screen. Her story is one of love, strength and courage. We can all learn and grow as human beings from embracing such empowerment head on without fear! I will continue to live without fear and when it tries to seep back in I will think of Jill’s strength to keep it at bay! Thank you Jill for telling your story!

Sue Bryce helps Jill tell her story…

What Cancer cannot do…
Cancer is so Limited…
It cannot cripple love…
It cannot shatter hope…
It cannot corrode faith…
It cannot eat away at peace…
It cannot destroy confidence…
It cannot kill friendship…
It cannot shut of memories…
It cannot silence courage…
It cannot quench the spirit…
~Bernice Chambers

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Girlfriend Bonding Recipe

TracyGirlfriend bonding is equally as important as spending time by yourself.  It’s empowering to spend time with girlfriends sharing stories, swapping tips, giving opinions, and belly laughing for days in a row.  I think I have found the perfect recipe for a just that!

It starts with a destination of your choice, add girlfriends for spice and mix in a few excursions here and there.  Let the conversations marinade and Voila the recipe is complete!

Jacquie and I went for a road trip up to the Okanagan to spend time with our BFF and partner Bonnie for a little girlfriend bonding of our own.  The road trip gave Jacquie and I lots of time to catch up and reconnect before arriving at Bonnie‘s house.

We started out with a day of stimulating conversations which really got our creative juices flowing.  Being in the same room together allowed us to really get the others vibe!

We went to Genesis Designs Tattoo and made a memory together that can’t be removed…easily!  What a powerful moment that was for all three of us.  If you missed it check it out, Tara Cronica Ink’d at Genesis Designs Tattoo.

Predator Ridge SpaWhat’s a girlfriend bonding getaway without a Spa experience.  We had ours at The Predator Ridge Spa.  I chose a facial which was a combination of two, Aveda Green Science Facial & Enbrightenment Facial.  If I had to describe my facial in one word it would be ’Spiritual’.  For 60 magical minutes I was pampered by Michelle Snider. Michelle’s hands and expertise made my entire facial heavenly and just when I thought it couldn’t get any better…it did.  My face, shoulders, chest, feet and scalp were massaged.  My facial included hot lavender face wraps, essential oils, hot rock massage, brushed on luscious creams and gentle steam.  I was massaged, cleansed, moisturised and reminded how wonderful it was to be a woman.  I will definitely book an appointment with Michelle on my next visit.

The reconnecting with Bonnie and Jacquie made our bond even stronger than it was before.  It’s important to have a place you feel safe to express yourself and girlfriend getaways are the perfect venue.  We hope that coming here to Tara Cronica to visit gives you a sense of that girlfriend bonding experience when you can’t create an excursion of your own.  We are all on the path to enlightenment and welcome you to join us on ours.  We hope we make you feel comfortable to add your comments or let your voice be heard through this medium.

These moments together have reminded me how lucky I am to be surrounded by friends who are so amazing, non judgmental, giving and effortless to be around!  Svaha !

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