Other Peoples Relationships; Can You Relate?

I guess I better start this with “my relationship with my husband is better than ever” just in case some of you jump to conclusions and then don’t continue reading.

I don’t know if it is something that happens to more women our age or maybe it’s always been happening and I had just been too busy with my own failing relationships before to notice it, but right now I know a lot of women my age who are unhappy in their relationships with their husband/partner.

This makes me sad.  I want everyone to be happy.  Especially when I’m happy.  When I’m miserable I’m ok with everyone else being miserable too, in fact I prefer it that way.  Kidding…kind of.

I always hope I’m saying the right thing when a friend confides her marriage/relationship woes to me. The advice I go back to again and again is pretty basic.  Everyone deserves to be happy.  Find a way to be happy.  With ‘em or without ‘em just be happy.  I don’t like to see people waste years and years being unhappy.  Strive for the happy!

That advice may be a little too basic for some.  More.com recently listed 10 books on relationships.  Sometimes you need to read about other people’s relationships before coming face to face with your own. Good idea, I say!

Ever wonder what the future holds for your marriage? Journalist Maggie Scarf interviews numerous couples between the ages of 50 and 75 in this well researched study.

The troubles of 5 couples are brought to life by Abraham in this close look at couples therapy, making this an important book on the institute of modern marriage.

How does one handle the shell shock of divorce? For Morrison, the answer was to keep moving. You’ll sympathize with her honest musings on learning how to fall out of love, a demanding career, and caring for her young son.

Commitment-phobe Gilbert waxes on about domesticity with Brazilian beau, Felipe, while simultaneously researching the history of marriage and divorce.

After spending a year cooking with Julia, Powell takes an apprenticeship with a butcher shop. Tales of her adult sex life are interwoven with detailed reports of her time spent with the chopping block.

He said, she said; most books that follow this format can weigh on one’s patience. But in the case of Carbone and Decker’s tale of fertility clinics, miscarriages, and near-divorce spats, hearing both sides of the story humanizes their anger.

Braestrup, an ordained minister, clues us into the secrets she’s learned from years of counseling couples. Here, she shows us the true meaning of love, and in some cases, how to find it.

In throes of midlife, Gideon humorously wonders, “is this all there is?” A quick, enjoyable read for women dealing with children, dogs, and yes, husbands.

Before she felt bad about her neck, Ephron was feeling the pangs of a cheating husband. A thinly veiled version of her own marriage’s demise, Ephron’s biggest quip (and perhaps her funniest) is that at 7 months pregnant, she can’t date.

After struggling with infertility for years, Cohen finds herself unexpectedly pregnant at 44. With a daughter and fiance in tow, Cohen questions her ability to bring a baby into the world.

Disclaimer: I have not yet read any of the above so I will default to my usual…just find your happiness.  Whatever it takes, be happy.  That means you too Sandra Bullock!

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Have you met TED?

Bonnie Johnson's PostTED is a favourite of mine and is a huge source of inspiration to me regularly.  In case you have not yet met TED, let me introduce you:

TED is owned by The Sapling Foundation, a private nonprofit foundation.

The goal of the foundation is to foster the spread of great ideas.  It aims to provide a platform for the world’s smartest thinkers, greatest visionaries and most-inspiring teachers, so that millions of people can gain a better understanding of the biggest issues faced by the world, and a desire to help create a better future.  Core to this goal is a belief that there is no greater force for changing the world than a powerful idea. Consider:

  • An idea can be created out of nothing except an inspired imagination.
  • An idea weighs nothing.
  • It can be transferred across the world at the speed of light for virtually zero cost.
  • And yet an idea, when received by a prepared mind, can have extraordinary impact.
  • It can reshape that mind’s view of the world.
  • It can dramatically alter the behavior of the mind’s owner.
  • It can cause the mind to pass on the idea to others.

Al GoreJane GoodallBrian Greene

From left: Al Gore at TED2006; Jane Goodall at TED2003; Brian Greene at TED2005

TED is devoted to Ideas Worth Spreading.  It started out (in 1984) as a conference bringing together people from three worlds:  Technology, Entertainment, Design.  Since then its scope has become ever broader.  Along with the annual TED Conference in Long Beach, California, and the TEDGlobal conference in Oxford UK, TED includes the award-winning TEDTalks video site, the Open Translation Program, the new TEDx community program, this year’s TEDIndia Conference and the annual TED Prize.

I’ve never physically been to a conference but I go to TED.com often and I’m always inspired by what I find there.  On TED.com, they make the best talks and performances from TED and partners available to the world, for free. More than 450 TEDTalks are now available, with more added each week.  All of the talks feature closed captions in English, and many feature subtitles in various languages.  These videos are released under a Creative Commons license, so they can be freely shared and reposted.

TED mission: Spreading ideas. (Quoted directly from their website)

We believe passionately in the power of ideas to change attitudes, lives and ultimately, the world.  So we’re building here a clearinghouse that offers free knowledge and inspiration from the world’s most inspired thinkers, and also a community of curious souls to engage with ideas and each other.  This site, launched April 2007, is an ever-evolving work in progress, and you’re an important part of it. Have an idea? We want to hear from you.

This would be where I insert a TEDTalks video but there are just so many too choose from that I couldn’t decide on only one.  So here is the link to the sites most favourite talks:  http://www.ted.com/talks/list

Here is a small list of just a few talks that I have enjoyed:

Chimamanda Adichie: The danger of a single story

Jill Bolte Taylor’s stroke of insight

Elizabeth Gilbert on nurturing creativity

William Kamkwamba: How I harnessed the wind

Eve Ensler: happiness in body and soul

Mary Roach: 10 things you didn’t know about orgasm

The talks are all usually around 18 minutes long each so before you start to explore them you may want to get comfortable; it’s easy to get watching these videos and forget everything else.

Bonnie

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Spicy Seattle!

TracyI love going on road trips to Seattle, Washington for so many reasons but I have to admit it is not for the shopping.  I actually don’t enjoy shopping at the malls at all.  Seattle feels different enough from Vancouver to feel like you’re having a mini holiday, all while only being a couple hours from home.  Perfect for a weekend adventure! Fremont

We set off to explore Fremont, the Artsy University District first, which is one of my favorite places in the Seattle area.  I love Bellevue as well but I feel at home and could easily live in any one of the homes in Fremont.  I am starting to feel like I know my way around a little more each time I visit, which is kind of nice.

Fremont coffee house We ate while in Seattle and every meal had spicy flavor, with the exception of the ‘to go’ package from ‘CheeseCake Factory’ that was creamy and decedent. (Fudge Cake and Original Cheese Cake) We like to try new places off the beaten path, the ones the locals hang out in.

Eat Pray Love
(author Elizabeth Gilbert) I have yet to even start the book but I know I am caught up in the Eat part and think I will be there for a while so I don’t feel the need to open the cover…yet.  I do Pray that I will get through the Eat part with minimal damage to my rear end though.

We started with Szechuan Chinese food at a small modest restaurant in Greenwood called Szechuan Bistro located at 212 N 85th Street.  I wasn’t feeling too hot when we first entered the small bistro but the Asian lady who worked there had eyes that told me she could make me feel better if I just trusted her.  I did and it worked.  I ordered the Chicken Kung pao and Scott had the Szechuan Beef.  Each dish had hot peppers, celery and cabbage.  Very basic but full of spicy flavor.

Chutneys Later that evening we walked up the street to Chutneys Bellevue located at 938 110th Ave N.E.  We were greeted by the owner Bill Khanna who guaranteed us if we didn’t like his food he would not make us pay.  We paid, because it was delicious.  The best Indian food I have ever had.  I ordered the Chicken Tikka Masala with Garlic Naan Bread and Scott decided on the Mixed Grill.  Bill Khanna is Canadian and used to be involved in both Bridges Restaurant and Monk McQueens.  He was a great restaurateur who will absolutely have a visit from us next time we are in Bellevue.  He told me to call him and he would set us up next time we came to Bellevue.  I believe him.  Once again it’s about the kind souls that cross our path each day!

Sunday morning arrived much too fast and neither Scott or I felt like the buffet in the hotel, even though the entire Husky’s football team was staying there, so we set off to Fremont yet again to find what I had visualized as an organic style space with atmosphere and a great healthy breakfast. Silent Heart Nest Silent Heart Nest is located at 3508 Fremont Place N and was just what I wanted!  It was uplifting and harmonious.  I visualized it just as it was which made me smile the entire time we were there.  Silent Heart Nest was inspired by spiritual teacher Sri Chinmoy (1931-2007).  Sri Chinmoy was and still is the inspiring and guiding force behind the restaurant.  His philosophy encourages a sincere inner life with an active outer life.  By meditating on the spiritual heart, he teaches, the seeker can discover his own inner treasures of peace, joy, light and love.  We sat at the bar so we were right in the middle of everything going on which made it feel more comfortable to talk to the guy sitting next to you.  The staff looked like they loved working there and their ages ranged from 17 to 60.  Again, the spiritual people draw us in!  Silent Heart Nest will be my first stop when I visit Fremont again.

We ended our mini holiday by driving in the rain along Mercer Way which was much like being on Lower Marine Drive in West Vancouver, or a mini Chuckanut Drive.  It was peaceful with lots of naturally beautiful, lusciously green landscaped properties nestled in on each side of the drive.  The real estate in Seattle is incredible with so much of it being waterfront.  The highways and roads make it easy to explore the many different pockets of culture sprinkled throughout the city.  Thank you, Seattle, for making us feel at home!  See you soon!Tracy signiture

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