“I just need to find someone to share it with” is what I keep hearing from those around me. I can relate as I’m sure many of you can. Life is meant to be shared. Sharing it with friends and family is incredibly fulfilling but finding a partner to share it with intimately seems to be a quest of many. Need is maybe not the right word. I’ve struggle with this word at times. In the past I’ve associated need with weakness. “I don’t need help, I am a self-sufficient strong independent woman who can do anything.” Hearing that back doesn’t sound the least bit weak although it’s said with the intention of not wanting to appear weak. (and I can be slightly stubborn at times) There is nothing weak about wanting to share and explore the beauty of life with an intimate partner. The trick is finding the right one.
As a woman it’s hard to balance independence and strength without losing your femininity. Women naturally want their man to take care of some of their needs. Some of us even have the burning desire to be save by a man. I need to be saved from myself I think. At times I think I am only attached to this world by a thread, I often find myself floating away to my world which seems in no way a reality.
I think until you allow yourself to be vulnerable in life you don’t really experience all life has to offer. There is nothing wrong with wanting someone or needing someone in your life as long as you’re not dependent on them. That’s when obligation and expectation step in and wreck everything in one clean swoop! When you lose your independence you give away your strength. Balance is so important in life, yin & yang.
Want is perhaps not as scary as need. “I just want to find someone to share it with.” I think there are life experiences we need to have that strike a cord within us that make us move to another level. And then there are life experiences we want that enrich and allow us to grow as individuals. Feeling vulnerable is not an emotion everyone is comfortable with, I’m certainly not. When you’re ready to open yourself up and be vulnerable, real passion in life begins. Passion is something in my opinion that needs to be shared. When you have real passion for what you do you can’t help but inspire those around you.
I was in the company of my parents on the weekend and their chemistry after 60 years together is still in the room. They found someone to share it with and somehow manage to keep from floating away making their passionate love a reality. It is possible. I’m looking for that someone who will feed my soul, not my ego. Who will let me float away when I need to but will reel me in from time to time to balance my fairy tale with reality.
We all want to share a part of our life with someone. It doesn’t have to be all at once, it can start with bits and pieces until it feels right to share more. It’s not a race. It’s about timing and letting go to allow your life to just be.
We as human beings like to share. Elation, can’t help but be shared. Love yearns to be shared. Desire burns if not shared. Inspiration is wasted if not shared. Music is created to share. Lust comes undone when shared. Peace wants to be shared.
I am not generally a follower, more of a leader but I couldn’t resist finding out what all the fuss was about so I caved and bought the trilogy ‘50 Shades of Grey’. Everywhere I turn I hear someone say something about this book! A writer man-friend of mine suggested I start reading erotic romance novels if that is what I aspire to write more of, so I am. Anything for research…right? I have never even picked up a Harlequin Romance Novel before so I’m a virgin when it comes to reading romance. I’d rather be living it or writing about it than reading it. I did however find a few forum magazines when I was younger and found it hard to put those down.
I have to admit that’s where I find my flow in writing. I am naturally in my element when my romantic imagination joins my sensual erotic soul. I love the style of writing that leaves your loins aching for more, heart racing, imagination piqued and hormones surging!
I am not that far into the first book but I must say it’s intrigued me, I am not exactly sure what to expect, I haven’t got to the ‘play-room’ yet. I am secretly hoping their romance takes on a life of its own, being a true romantic myself. I also sense there is a darker erotic side to the story having heard there is a fair amount of S & M in the book.
As we read erotic sensual words, we feel the wash of sensuality flow over us. The look in our eyes change. We surrender to seduction. It’s a feeling many women don’t experience often enough in my opinion. I live for that feeling, thrive on it, I may even be addicted to it. It’s an obsession for sure. If there was an AA for this type of addiction I’d tell them to go to hell! My mind naturally plays with elements of love and sexuality daily, it’s a big part of who I am.
Lets face it a good number of relationships border on boring, we get too comfortable, so we look elsewhere to find a thrill. Taboo attracts us, well some of us. Knowing a man wants you is sometimes the only thing we need to get our heart racing. The feeling of lust and desire can be overwhelming! As for those comfortable souls who yearn for a Christian Grey to walk through their doors to titillate them, a novel is a much better safer place to look than between the sheets of a bed that doesn’t belong to you. Just sayin….
Hallelujah for erotic sensual romantic novels and writers such as E.L James that want to take us by the hand and lead us into temptation! Tempt me, tease me…leave me wanting more! Just don’t try to take my power as a woman away…cause I won’t go down without a fight!
Mommy porn? I like to think about it as story time that brings out the woman in all of us. Husbands and partners need not worry, we still want you…more than ever! You have probably noticed if your wife or partner is reading one of these books. I guess the question is “Who isn’t reading one of these books?”
Married women who are reading erotic romance are safe, husbands are in heaven with their wives new found libido, but what about the heat that has washed over single women? We’re gonna start to do things we aren’t proud of! I am considered getting a pool-boy but remembered I don’t have a pool. My girlfriend Alison F told me she was getting a pool-boy. (she’s reading the book too) Mind you she has a pool and lives back East where it’s realllllly humid right now. I’m thinking one of those little kiddie pools with the elephant trunk that spouts water is technically a pool…right? I think I’ll ask the sales clerk what isle the pool-boys are down, or if it comes with one? Is he in the box? Do I have to pay extra? Surely that trunk needs cleaning so there’s not a build up of algae in it?
Reading Mommy-porn does crazy things to a woman’s libido! Trust me! If you see a grown woman humping the leg of a crossing guard, or standing dangerously close to a jack hammer, just leave her be, she’s probably reading the book. This too will pass!
Two weeks ago I shared my list of some Pro’s to Being Single. Ask a young single male what’s on his list, and I’m certain it would grow ten fold. Ask a man who is afraid of commitment and the list, which is no doubt written in stone, takes on a life of its own. Ask someone who lost a love and yet another view. Married, Single, Divorced, Separated, Unavailable, Chicken we all have different lists. We all have Pro’s and Con’s depending where we are in life, what we want, need, or are ready for. We go from being single to attached when we meet someone we don’t want to be without and vice-versa!
Pro’s to Being Attached ~
Butterflies escape each time your thoughts go to the man you fiercely desire ~
You have a smile on your face that whispers “I have a secret” that comes from deep inside your soul ~
When you lock the door, it’s just you, him and passion bouncing off the walls, ceiling and floor ~
Music fills the air regardless if the stereo is on ~
Your heart races, feeling like it’s going to beat right out of your chest when you hear his sexy voice ~
Your desire to be naked outweighs your common sense *wink* ~
Travel and life experience is enriched when you are together ~
You rush home when you have GREAT News to share ~
The messy bed is a reminder of what you have, just had, are going to have & want more of ~
When you slip between the sheets his essence is still there, because he is ~
You subconsciously inhaling deeply when he enters the room darting straight to his neck, scent is intoxicating ~
You cook together, teasing one another…dinner goes cold more often than not ~
You wake up in the middle of the night with his arms wrapped around you feeling safe and loved ~
You can lay in bed talking to the wee hours of the morning face to face, or spoon in silence ~
He loves when you are right out of the shower, fresh and natural ~
You yearn to be in his presence, he embraces you for all you are ~
He loves your new tattoo, because he loves you ~
He wants to kiss you Good-night, Good-afternoon & Good-morning ~
He makes the BEST morning coffee that has ever touched your lips ~
Your family becomes his and his becomes yours ~
You have a go-to-guy when you need one ~
You have a male best friend…not to be mistaken for a girlfriend ~
When you go out with the girls, he’s there keeping the bed warm ~
Sex, sex, sex that leads somewhere magical ~
Lust and Love are experienced together, growing deeper with time ~
You have a man to grow old with, share life with, unfold with ~
You can look into his eyes from across the room knowing he’s yours later ~
(Insert record scratching sound here)…and then he says something that totally pisses you off and it’s like some total hottie came by and fertilized the crap out of the grass on the ‘other-side’ making it greener than you have EVER seen before…and the ‘other’ list grows…the End ~
Sorry I couldn’t resist! My only advice if you’re thinking of making a list…use pencil!
Btw the grass is NOT always greener on the ‘other-side’ but it is greener where you fertilize it…just sayin ~
It’s wonderful when you meet the right person and commit to them with mind, body and spirit, the hard part is finding the right person. When you do you don’t need a list.
I want the truth. Are you comfortable with your naked body? More specifically, are you comfortable with your naked body with your partner in the room? I know every woman who is reading this has questions such as; “what kind of lighting are we talkin about here, is it day/night/candle…is he naked…or just me…do I have a tan…am I my ideal weight or do you mean RIGHT now?” STOP!
Okay specifically…”Are you comfortable being naked right now in daylight with the blinds open southern exposure at noon with your husband/boyfriend/lover (pick one!) standing or lying naked right beside you no covers no tan white skin completely natural having just ate lunch?” Okay minus the having just ate lunch, I’ll give ya that one. I know what you’re thinking, I’ve been buck naked in this scenario and that’s why I’m writing about it. You’ll never know for sure! (insert cheeky grin here) I’ll enjoy the speculation immensely…I don’t kiss and tell 🙂
For some women undressing in front of the one they love, is so horrific poking a sharp stick in their eye would be less painful! It’s some women’s worst fear to drop their dress, let alone the panties and bra that are under it, in bright light! Add the starring eyes of the one they desire, nightmare complete! I guarantee your partner is in awe at the spontaneity and confidence you ooze for doing it in the first place, not any bits you’re unhappy with.
If we make this man someone you only lust after, apparently the pain is less severe. Sweeeeet! Kidding! I find that strange, weird even that psychologically we are more comfortable stripping down with a man we don’t know. The man we love, adores us for who we are, not just our physical appearance. The man we lust is there for approximately 3 minutes…okay maybe 4…5 tops, before you see the back of his head exit stage right! lol
I know we don’t really care what the man we lust really thinks because we just want their body and mechanics for a simply pleasure! Shouldn’t we be more comfortable with the man we love because we know he will make sure we are simply pleasured! 🙂
I suppose our partners should feel good knowing we care what they think, but if they knew we held back because of our own insecurities, I’m sure they wouldn’t understand! Men desire women curves and flesh regardless of their size or shape. I don’t think there is a man out there who would turn down the woman they love if she was standing naked in front of him! It’s about love and trust.
Aging is hard on our bodies but our minds hopefully out weigh any insecurities we might have allowed to attach to our physique over the years! We know better than to be so critical, it’s a slippery slope! And if we put this kind of pressure on ourselves aren’t we putting it on our partner as well? We are our own worst enemy in this scenario ladies! Men see us as we should, from the inside out! For me, aging is about accepting who I am right now…and now…and now regardless of my size, shape or wrinkle count. If someone can’t love me for who I am, then the hell with them!
Embrace who you are ladies, naked in bright light! Natural beauty is the sexiest, ask any man! We’ve touched on The Naked Truth once before here on Tara Cronica…Tag Team Sunday: The Naked Truth, still feel the same ladies?
Okay I gotta fly, I am getting a spray tan today by a complete stranger, naked of course, just in case I find myself lying naked in daylight with the blinds open southern exposure at noon with my ______ lying right beside me naked, no covers, completely natural, if you don’t count the tan! Baby steps ladies…baby steps! Now go get nekid and rock your mans world…cause he wants to rock yours too!
I’ve written a few posts that some of you might not think have suitable content, but I have an open mind and find most topics interesting, inspiring and worthy of a conversation. I would love to see how “attack of the Redneck Mommy” would address this topic, she’s authentic, hilarious and completely UNPLUGGED! Her voice is unedited and she embraces it! Pure confidence to let it roll as she does. I completely admire her honesty. It’s pretty basic for me, if someone is doing it, I am curious as to why. If you are uncomfortable with the topic of Sex or Swingers, now would be the time to “blog off”. But for those of you with a gaping wide open mind and the same curiosity that killed the cat this is for you! A little taboo education of what is going on in a suburb or resort near you. ( insert Cheshire cat grin here :))
We the Tara Team recently gave our collaborative opinion on Polyamorous Relationships, could we ever imagine ourselves in one? I had never heard of them before we posted about it. I know, I can’t believe it, how did that one slip by my radar! Great snag Bonnie! Now I have been educated on what they are, have formed my own opinion, and can confidently join in a conversation about Polyamory. I find all human behavior interesting, especially those of a taboo nature.
If your questioning why I would write about Swingers and I know some of you are I follow a list of what makes a good blog topic: Write something; useful, unique, newsworthy, first, that makes the reader smarter, controversial, insightful, that taps into a fear people have, that helps people achieve, that elicits a response, that gives a sense of belonging, passionately, inspirational, that solves a problem, that gets a laugh, opinionated, about something cool, saves people money or time, that tells a story and that interprets or translates news for people. Not that I have to justify my topic choice or anything, Wednesday and Friday are my days to write about whatever floats my boat!
While researching Polyamory I found that most people confuse Swingers with Polyamorous relationships. There is a difference. The primary emphasis of Poly is loving relationships with more than one other partner. The primary emphasis of Swingers is casual, non emotional sex. In reality, there is a large overlap between the two. Swingers find most Poly conversations to focused on relationships. Poly’s find the conversations of Swingers too forward, too aggressive and more sexually explicit oriented for comfort. Also it seems many poly’s are seeking bisexual relationships and Swingers are more heterosexual couples looking for other heterosexual couples. I was told by the same girlfriend who gave me explicit details of the Brazilian Wax that the area or suburb in which I live is a large “swinging” community. (not sure how she knew that tee hee, I’m kidding, I love her for her lack of filter, honesty, curiosity and she gives good post ideas !)
Swinging, sometimes referred to as the swinging lifestyle, is non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple. I have to go on record and say I disagree, I am not sure swinging is in anyway similar to lets say book clubs, wine tasting or cooking for couples. (I’m just sayin) The phenomenon of swinging may be seen as part of the sexual revolution of recent decades, which happened after the upsurge in sexual activity made possible by the safer sex practices during the same period. Swinging has also been called wife swapping in the past, but this term has been criticized as ‘androcentric’ (taking a male-oriented point of view) and inaccurately describing the full range of sexual activities in which swingers may take part.
Swinging activities may include (but are not limited to):
Soft swinging: having sexual intercourse with a partner while two or more other people perform sex acts in the immediate vicinity.
Soft swap: having oral sex with someone other than one’s partner. Often a type of swinging that new couples choose before eventually trying full swap, although many couples stay “soft swap” for personal or safety related reasons.
Full swap: having penetrative sex with someone other than one’s partner. Although this is the commonly understood definition of swinging, it is not necessarily the most common type.
Group sex: An all-inclusive term for activities involving multiple partners in the same vicinity.
Typically, swinging activities occur when a married or otherwise committed couple engages in sexual activity with another couple, multiple couples, or a single individual. These acts can occur in the same room (called same room swinging) though different or separate room swinging does occur. On these occasions, swingers will often refer to sex as play and sex partners as playmates. I won’t be asking if anyone can come out to play anymore. (yikes) Occasionally, one party of a couple will not be interested in joining the swinging lifestyle. This party is typically referred to as the “hold-out” while the other party is referred to as the “desirous party”.
Here is a little History~
Swinging dates back as far as the 16th century when a formal arrangement was signed whereby conjugal relations would be shared between the men and their spouses. In the 17th century temporary spouse-trading was commonly advocated and practised among occultist, particularly alchemists in Europe. While contemporary swingers look to earlier practices, such as ancient Roman acceptance of orgies and alternative sexual practices, swinging in the 20th century began differently.
According to Terry Gould’s Book The Lifestyle: A Look at the Erotic Rites of Swingers , swinging began among United States Army Air Force pilots and their wives during World War II. The mortality rate of pilots was high. Gould reports that a close bond arose between pilots, with the implication that husbands would care for all the wives as their own, emotionally and sexually, if the husbands were away or lost (thus bearing some similarity to levirate marriage, in which a woman is required to marry her deceased husband’s brother). Though the beginnings are not agreed upon, it is assumed swinging began among American military communities in the 1950s. By the time the Korean War ended, swinging had spread from the military to the suburbs. The media dubbed the phenomenon wife-swapping.
Nightline ABC News with Martin Bashir ~ Reporting John Berman~
I will leave you with that to contemplate, form your own opinion, book your flight to Los Cabos or perhaps enlightened a little with what others are doing around you that you may not have been aware of. And although it doesn’t fit in to the lifestyle I am searching for, being a hopeless romantic, I never judge. Freedom of speech is something I am grateful for !
I’ve been thinking lately about how the journey to what you really want in life is the really fun part. Isn’t it the desire that fuels you to obtain whatever you are striving for that is truly the sweetest part? Yes, it does feel fantastic to want something strongly and after working hard finally have it in your grasp. But when I’m really honest with myself I realize that the best part of reaching a goal is the “path” to the goal. It’s the feeling of anticipation and determination that is delicious. I have always been struck at how I feel, having reached a goal, when there isn’t a full symphony orchestra playing and fireworks to celebrate.
Don’t get me wrong, there is always an exhilarating feeling of accomplishment and sometimes relief but once I’m there I’m looking for the next thing.
I think this is because as I’ve been climbing that mountain (metaphorically) I have been learning new techniques and new ideas and so new desires are always forming. I’m always changing and so my knowledge and experience is always expanding which leads to new ideas and new goals and a new path to obtaining them.
Can you imagine how disappointing life would be if you actually “got there” or “made it”? If you worked really hard at reaching a goal, you finally reached it, had a little celebration but then realized…that’s it. That’s as far as you get to go. Thanks for coming out but you’re done now. Go home, there’s nothing more for you.
I am beginning to appreciate the small moments it takes to get to each new desire. Every step of the way is savored.
That’s my deep thought of the day. This is what happens when I get up at six am and sit alone quietly, surrounded by nature, while sipping my tea.