Top 5 Regrets…Listen Up & Take Notes!


IMG_0096_3_2There is no time for regret in life and although we all have a few, here is some insight to help lighten the load! I found this on LinkedIn and I felt the need to share because thats what I like to do.

Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed. 

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard. This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying. Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Svaha ~


Live a Wild Journey to the Grave

Bonnie Johnson's PostI’m always awed by how whatever I need seems to be presented to me at just the right moment.  That is, if my eyes are open to seeing it.

I have been fighting off the doldrums lately.  I’m not sure why they’ve showed up but I am determined not to let them get a hold of me.  I was feeling this way when I came across a poem written by an Irish poet named John O’Donohue.  It’s called Beannacht which is a Gaelic word for Blessing.  (The word “currach” which is used in the poem means canoe by the way.)

By John O’Donohue

On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble,
may the clay dance
to balance you.
And when your eyes
freeze behind
the grey window
and the ghost of loss
gets in to you,
may a flock of colours,
indigo, red, green,
and azure blue
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays
in the currach of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you,
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours,
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours.
And so may a slow
wind work these words
of love around you,
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.

His words captured my mood exactly and pulled me out of the murkiness immediately.John O'Donohue

After doing some research into the poet himself I was further uplifted.  At first saddened to discover that John O’Donohue had passed away last year at only 52. I discovered that he has written many best-selling books that I plan on devouring that will be full of little gems he wrote like “A person’s beauty is sophisticated and sacred and is far beyond image, appearance or personality.” Then I came across a video where he was speaking about the honour of being at someone’s deathbed.  (He had been an ordained Catholic priest for part of his life.)

John spoke about asking an old man who was about to die, how he felt about his life now that he was about to leave it.  He said a large smile came across the old man’s face as he replied “By Jeez, I knocked a hell of a squeeze out of it!”  The old man died satisfied with how he had lived his life to the fullest.

John went on to describe seeing other people die and how “those deathbeds were a place of the most tragic, lonesome, forsaken regret.  People who never lived the life that they desired but who postponed it and allowed themselves to be beset and contained by other people’s expectations and their own anxieties and uncertainties and always waiting for a future time to enter their lives and inhabit them and never did.  And their sad lonely eyes looked back on a life that they had squandered.”

Whoa!  I do not want to be one of those people on my deathbed.  I will not waste another day feeling blasé but instead will go out and live my life with vigour!  It reminds me of that saying I just love that goes something like this:

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body; but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, beverage of choice in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, ‘Woo hoo, what a ride.’ ”

John O’Donohue understood that and I’ll bet that’s just what he felt in his own last moments.  His words will inspire and uplift people forever.

And so may a slow wind work these words of love around you, an invisible cloak to mind your life.