Finding Lyrical Beauty in…Mating?

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TracyI mean Dating…

It’s not me it’s them! ((((smile & giggle)))) o-k-a-y once it was me, maybe twice, three times tops! Dating after being attached for years is like learning to ride a bike again, except it’s a unicycle, with no seat, in the dark, on gravel, naked, in-front of lots of people…you know! Actually lets put the seat back on since we’re naked and make it a bright sunny day to imply hope. I am being sarcastic not cynical. I can honestly find humour in everything, especially my own life. The majority of the time I don’t really care but there is a part of me that still sits in the clouds daydreaming about what it would be like to be with someone who balances me in an older wiser sort of way! ;)

There are those friends or colleagues that ask each week for a ‘story’ or sorts but now it’s getting ridiculous. Even I am getting tired of my stories and I love story time! In all honesty they usually end in a thunk! I seem to be a magnet for young men. My girlfriends and I have giggled on more than one occasion saying“too young for what?” I suppose it depend on what you are looking for. Don’t get me wrong dating a younger man has its advantages. At least going in you know it’s not going to amount to anything so there is no expectations or heart ache! Younger men don’t fear the unknown as much as older wiser male energy, and rightfully so. Life experience hasn’t shown them the darker side of lust or love yet. They have their whole lives ahead of them to find what they are looking for. My advice, take your time and never settle for someone who won’t allow you to be you! It’s exciting really! Give them a couple broken hearts and they will tread a little lighter when it comes to opening themselves to the female energy.

Younger men have a lightness about them and yes they are ‘fun’ if that’s what you are looking for…‘fun.’ Being asked out by 6’6 tattooed hottie who looks 34 but ends up being (((((21))))) flatters the ego (if he was 34) but I got rid of that many moons ago. Yup 21…I know! I just got the shivers too! Age is NOT just a number in some cases! Maybe he could have a play-date with my 15 year old, shoot some hoops and have a juice box of Kool Aid and a Tuna Sammy on a Blanky on the front lawn. He made Truck-Boy seem old! Sigh…ahhhh, Truck-Boy ;) Some of my friends are still envious of me being able to lock the door behind me and have space to myself, but in reality that doesn’t happen very often. The grass is NOT greener on the other side people! Don’t just water your grass fertilize it!

Being on your own comes with some social stigmas that we don’t put on ourselves but society silently places them upon us when we aren’t looking. Some days I feel like yelling “There is nothing MAJOR wrong with me!…really!” And other days I think…there must be something major wrong with me! I can be deep and ask a lot of questions because communication is important to me. I am passionate and jump in and I have been scared and jumped back out. <~~~~~ feelings can be scary! Navigating the mine fields of the dating world can be difficult when you factor in all the elements of being older. Kids, schedules, exes, baggage, insecurities all come into play at some point. If you’re not ready to take all these on, it seems like a massive effort has to be put in and if you’re both not willing to, you’re hooped! Move on and save yourself the heart ache.

I like a challenge but that definition has changed over the years. When you’re younger, the challenge is more on a physical level than intellectual or emotional. The thrill of the chase is lead by raging hormones. Flash forward ~ hormone levels still surge but have been mixed with wisdom and maturity, changing the definition somewhat. Attraction is more mutual and want to be challenged on a more intellectual level through communication and spirituality not just physically.

I think of dating like this…Imagine standing at the bottom of the Grouse Grind. You don’t want to start the climb knowing you’re going to bail half way because it’s just as much effort to get your sorry ass back down as it is to go to the top. You also don’t want to start the climb with someone who is clearly holding themselves back to your pace or you to theirs. It should be a journey embarked on together reaching the top at least in view of one another if not side by side. Relationships challenge us in different ways as we age. It takes effort and sometimes perseverance to get to where you want to be. You just can’t judge the other person for where they are in life. Timing is everything and you can’t force love.

I am looking for different qualities and have relaxed somewhat to what I need and want. I have more life experience to draw upon which isn’t always a good thing. Being comfortable on my own has become the new norm. I can visualize where I want to be, having passion, laughter and love swirling around me and my family but as time goes by I question whether or not it is an achievable reality. I am still working on finding my patience. Oh look there it is…oops dropped it!

Life has a way of showing us contrasts. We learn from each experience what we want and don’t want in our lives. We make choices that move us forward and learn from the ones that allow us to sit still for a time. I have found lyrical beauty in mating dating at times and learned a great deal about myself along the way. Ebb and flow.

Open your heart and stay true to who you are and you will Find Your Lyrical Beauty in Your Everyday Happenings… (((((smile))))

Now if I could just find the guy in the picture above…life would be a fairy-tale come true! 
Tracy signiture

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My Kids Survived Another Summer…barely!


Have you ever thought of putting your kids on Craigslist? This summer I actually sat down and wrote an ad…just for fun *wink.

“Two kids free to ANY family. Both need constant stimulation. A horse and NLL lacrosse star within arms reach would be a huge plus. Neither can quite finish any task for some unknown reason…but close. Constant supervision is mandatory. Attitude adjustments are required regularly. Money tree in back yard would eliminate the tedious whining. One sleeps till noon, the other is at your side the second your eyes open. Can only be in the same room together for 3 min max until the little one says “Jessssseeee donnnnn’t” and the big one says “wooooooow” and then all hell breaks loose. Taxi and maid service would be handy. They come with a dog they don’t walk that’s out of control…but really cute and loves to dig” (and then I realized I was dating! ) “I thought you had kids?” “Ya (insert long pause here) I did…” Not sure how that might play out!

My girlfriend Carri offered to have her daughter join the ad suggesting we give the two girls to the same family since blended families seem to be so popular (her daughter is 1/2 Filipino which = super cute)…then both my kids walked in my office and said “Mom, you’re the best Mom on the planet” and I loved them once again more than life itself. Their intuition is right on track! Moms just want love and affection and 10 minutes in the bathroom without hearing mom, mom, mom, mom through the door.

Anyone with kids the same age will totally relate. Parents of younger kids, all I can say is don’t judge, karma’s a bitch!

My daughter’s umbilical cord reattached to my womb over the summer. It happens when we spend lots of time together. I am NOT complaining. I remember getting the same feelings about my Mom as the summer came to an end. I couldn’t live without her throughout the year let alone after spending all day and night with her for 2 months. I got homesick at the thought of her being in another room. I can relate to my daughter very well.

I am taking every single hug and kiss I can get knowing that these moment are fleeting. My sons has a couple of years on his sister so he is at the age of loving his freedom…ahhh freedom remember that. He is awfully love-able for 13 so I can’t complain. I take every lingering boy hug I can get. I try not to make a big deal of it so it last longer. If I don’t move maybe he will forget I’m hanging on for dear life! He has his hormonal teenager moments like the rest of them that don’t go unnoticed but I have learned not to take them personally. He simply needs to flash that irresistible smile and I melt. Moms and their boys…sigh. :)

Being a Mom has been one of the best experiences I have ever had hands down. I’ve learned over the years to let go and allow my kids to grow. They have learned to be independent which has given them both confidence. My job now, it to just be there for moral support and teach them by example. (that is definitely questionable at times but hey, at least I’m honest!) I don’t mind telling you though it’s a bitter sweet time for me. I love spending time with my kids, they are incredible little human beings but I too have a life I need to reacquaint myself with in-order to be a great Mom!

Happy September Everyone! Enjoy each moment making memories with your little humans!

 

 

 

 

 

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Navigating the Minefields of Dating!

I didn’t know it would be so difficult to date when I became eligible. It’s much more complicated than I remember when I was younger. No wonder there is a relationship status on Facebook that states ‘It’s complicated’ because it is! I haven’t met anyone who has not been complicated! There are schedules to consider, kids, parenting styles, deal makers and breakers, dogs, jobs, sports, compatibility, life style differences, distance and timing has to be just right…or does it? It doesn’t help when your best friend is your last partner. Try to explain that one to a potential date. They can’t help but have suspicions about the two of you getting back together at any given moment! Everyone seems to despise their ‘X’, which is hard when you really like yours! It’s hard to get to know someone when you barely have time for yourself. It honestly amazes me that there are second marriages let alone relationships between singles who are either separated or divorced.

You have to trust someone with your heart! Not everyone has good intention so it’s hard not to get discouraged! Are you getting the picture, it’s not that easy to date! It truly is a minefield that’s hard to navigate. I am so thankful to have girlfriends to talk with, be advised by and to have a male perspective that knows me better than any man out there! Which hasn’t been yet, but could also be something hard to maneuver with someone who doesn’t know me very well!

On the bright side of dating, there are lots of intelligent handsome great guys out there, who understand kid schedules and appreciate truth and honesty and who are eager to experience life in the moment. I’ve learned you just have to stop looking. If you go about your day they will come into your life when the time is right. Dating in your 40′s is all about acceptance and going with the flow, baggage included because we all have at least a carry on, some have truck loads!

At the end of the day, it’s really just all about enjoying everyone for who they are and exploring those personalities that intrigue you. Honesty is crucial and necessary even if the other person needs time to chew on it for a while. It’s a gamble like everything else in life, but I think worth the risks involved. Not everyone is honest, honourable or interested in the same things. Sometimes he’s just not that into you, or you into him and that’s okay! Timing is so important, it can turn a potential hot love affair into forever.

I am not trying to paint a negative picture of what its like being single. The experience is as unique as each of us. I truly love being on my own…most of the time. I’ve said before that I don’t need a man in my life, but would definitely love the right one. Everything takes time and the most important part of being set free in the world is enjoying the journey along the way. Trust your instincts, follow your heart, explore the possibilities of what if…you might be surprised at what you find!

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Texting & Text-ation-ships!

Texting can be exciting, the anticipation is stimulating and it can have sexual undertones that keep us hanging on for more. But if you never progress past the text, in all honesty I think it’s for those who just want to keep their options open. Its like wearing a mask.

Lets face it texting can be useful when we need to send a message that doesn’t require a long conversation, ask a quick question, send a funny message to a girlfriend, communicate when talking isn’t possible or the occasional flirt! I have to admit I have been caught up in texting on a few occasions with someone of the opposite sex, but to be honest, lose interest in it pretty quick if nothing materializes! I love words and think spoken communication is an art, it would be like having to edit this post down to 4 lines, it wouldn’t say what I wanted it to in the end. Texting leaves too much room for interpretation in my opinion, and it’s easily taken the wrong way.

My son texts his friends regularly, that’s how 12 year olds boys communicate. I’m okay with that. What I do have a problem with is when texting takes the place of a personal conversation with the opposite sex. Texting is nothing like real life. We are missing out on the key ingredients of human interaction; eye contact, pheromones, body language, touching and everything else that goes along with interacting with another human being. It might initially give us courage to say something we might not have otherwise, but what happens when we are finally standing in front of the person we are interested in and we’re used to thinking about our response for a couple of minutes before pressing send? Then what? Or we can say too much and that can lead to an embarrassing encounter later on. It’s not a natural conversation, not to mention texting makes us sound uneducated. “Ur funny!” I can’t say that without sounding like a hillbilly!

I’ve been caught up in the texting thrill, the sparing of words back and forth and admit it was enticing, but it can also feel shallow. It might get the ball rolling, but I like seeing someone think on their feet when I ask something they don’t expect. Spontaneity is the best! I need to see someones eyes when I am speaking to them!

I have a girlfriend whose son has been texting for many years and he said that he likes the pause between texting because he can think about what he wants to say before sending it. Or he can just ignore the text if he doesn’t feel like the conversation…my phone died, broke, left it in my locker/at work/at home/in the car…what text? Do you see where the problem starts to form. You don’t know if and when the person you are sending a message to gets it? It leaves your conversation either unanswered or lost in cyberspace somewhere. So my conclusion, if it’s important face to face is best, if you don’t care when you get a response, text. Talking in person is hand delivering your message and it just doesn’t get any better than that! It’s honest and real.

I think the reason you choose to have a text-ation-ship with someone is because you’re either intimidated, insecure, nervous, lack confidence or you’re really just not that interested in spending real time with them, so you stay afloat in a text-ation-ship until someone worthy of your time crosses your path.

Texting should be thought of as a simple form of communication that has a time and place in our daily lives.

Happy Texting!

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Sexless Marriages

Sexless Marriages are common according to Oprah and the Internet. Perhaps if we shut off the television and computer and put some time aside for our partner (if we have one) as we do for everyone else in our lives, we might have sex more often. I’m just sayin…

Bonnie’s post yesterday The Best Music to Have Sex To made me think back to the days of having sex, and what made it most memorable. Music was definitely on my list, but most importantly a trusting partner! Maybe it’s as simple as turning on music to get turned on? Music does stirs our souls and intensify emotions, could it really be that simple? Nothing is that simple, but it wouldn’t hurt to give it a whirl. According to some couples who appeared on the Oprah Show, it’s much more complicated than that. I never watched the show when it originally aired but read what they had to say on her website after the fact. I never knew there were so many deep seeded reasons married couples didn’t have sex as often anymore, or at all for that matter. Thankfully there is a venue to open up the conversation for those who need a little help in understanding why they don’t feel they can have an intimate relationship with their spouse or partner.

To quote my friend Lawrence ~
“You are not alone, is the message we need to share with one another, desperately. Money, material things, broken romance, there is nothing  you cannot get over with the help of a friend, family member, and the admission as a society, that it’s not only okay to share your dreams and fears with the world around you, but it’s the key to a healthier, happier, life more fulfilled.”

Anyone whose been married knows it’s a huge adjustment to go from dating and having the excitement of not knowing when you will see the person of your desire, to marriage and seeing them every single night. You give up some of the excitement for security. Lust for Love. It’s worth it but it’s also hard work. You have to really want to work at a relationship to have it last. That goes for a great sex life too in my opinion. It takes two and if both parties are not on the same page, that is the start of a soon to be sexless marriage.

I can understand how men get pushed to the bottom of the list after having kids, it’s almost expected. You’re living together trying to balance everyone’s needs, there is no special dates or time away from one another to make it more exciting. But that is a conscious choice! Sex sometimes becomes predictable and so the cycle begins.

Kids take up a huge part of daily life and as a Mom myself, I can relate to finally having a moment to myself and not always wanting to share it with anyone else regardless of what’s promised at the end. Having said that I do also believe the more intimacy you have with your partner, talking, touching, builds trust and with trust there comes an overwhelming desire to please. The more you take time for this, the more you want it. If you let it, the opposite happens, out of sight, out of mind. We all get lazy at some point in our relationships. One week turns into two, which turns into three, but then when we do get it together and have a great night of sex we wonder why we left it so long! Again it’s a choice!

I am not saying that everyone experiences this, but I will be honest, I don’t know many people who are completely satisfied with their sex lives. Everyone has their reasons for having less sex from feeling insecure, out of shape, not attractive, tired, kids, work, obligations, the list goes on! But when it comes to loving the person your with, all those small details should be put aside. Nobody is perfect. Just embrace who you’re with, what you’ve got, and go for it! Turn off the boob tube, put on some Enigma and in the heat of the moment, nothing else will really matter but the passionate person lying next to you ! :)

The part that I don’t understand is that some women want a man to want them, only them, they enter into a monogamous marriage wanting to be the last woman on earth their spouse/partner  is to have sex with and then THEY don’t have sex with him?

Here are a few links for more information; OprahTodayDr PhilThe Globe and Mail. And if all else fails Enigma!

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Would You, Should You, Could You Internet Date?

Is it really that hard to meet someone? I’ve been unattached for a year and a half and have had Internet Dating Services come up in conversations with friends more than a few times.   ;)

Here is my take on my first impression of a few: Plenty of fish is one that keeps coming up but seriously the name, when I think of fish I think of throwing them back, they’re wet, cold, scaly and not the nicest of smells out there, it’s just weird. eHarmony, their ads just seem too good to be true and you know what they say about that! There is Crazy dates, they actually have written “Meet the Crazy Bitch here” in their ad, I feel regret just thinking about that one! There is Sugar Daddies where the classy, attractive and affluent can meet, whose your daddy, ahhhh no. The last one that caught my eye was Its Just Lunch Vancouver for busy professionals, they do all the work for you, you just show up and have lunch, brunch or drinks, no pressure! Are you kidding, isn’t the anticipation or moment before you get asked out the BEST PART of meeting someone new, other than kissing for the first time? I don’t get it, it shouldn’t be WORK, they should say,“we take all the pleasure out of it for you!”


Seriously, I just don’t feel right about someone else planning a date for me. Its like someone picking out an outfit in a clothing store who doesn’t have a clue what your style is, even when you tell them what you like, if they can’t find it they start suggesting other options. I was looking for a Jeep years ago and a car salesmen actually called me and said he didn’t have a new black Jeep available but he did have a 1985 white pick-up truck. WTF is that? That’s what I would be afraid of, do they push the guys who aren’t moving very quick and have an expiry date on them like old bananas in the produce department? If I worked there I would set up joke dates until I was fired just for laughs. It feels creepy and desperate to me, but never say never, right? Not likely for this chick!

I don’t get out much so I see the point, if someone doesn’t walk or drive by between 9 am and 9:05 am while I am sitting having a quick gulp of coffee on my front steps, or knows my walking route and lays on the horn so I can hear them over my blasting ipod, it’s just not likely to happen while doing my daily activities. I guess there’s kid sports but I am there watching the sport not scanning the audience of parents looking for a potential date *cough*, okay if Carri’s there I do, cause that’s just fun.

I am on the computer for a healthy part of the day so it does make sense as a place to meet someone, a common interest, but I am at home in my office and I am a little old fashioned when it comes to meeting people and rely on Chemistry to guide me. I’m not too worried about it to be honest, I am just living my life, doing my thing and if someone catches my attention I will take it one step at a time.

I was talking to a friends Mom across the street about dating and the internet and she agreed with me, we are going to leave it up to fate. We both love our independence. I find that those who are in a relationship think those who aren’t are lonely, we are not lonely, we are alone and there is a difference! The way I look at it is that if someone isn’t in my circle of doings and I need to meet them on the internet because we are so damn busy, that option isn’t looking good. I know I have to make a conscious effort to get out and will when the time is right but for now the internet for me is about surfing for ideas not guys or potential dates or mates. What do you think? Would you sign up for dating through the internet, or leave it up to fate? Have you met anyone online and had it work out? Let me know what’s worked for you? I really am interested to hear what’s worked for those who are navigating the dating field.

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Dating Etiquette

datingI’ve been thinking of dating and came across some tips online for those of us who have been out of it for awhile.  Scott and I have been giving each other pointers on what is acceptable and what might not be when you start to date someone ‘new’.  I use the term ‘new’ loosely because I visualize the person I want to date as being anything but ‘new’.  New is shiny and clean and something you don’t want to touch because you might leave finger prints.  I am thinking more along the lines of disheveled, (not dirty) someone who looks like they’ve had some life experience, needs a challenge, has been around the block before and knows all the good places for fun and adventure.

When Scott and I are hanging out which is pretty much all the time because we are best friends, we comment on what the other person has just done that might be frowned upon by someone else.  We all know that after being with someone for 17 odd years your comfort levels start to slide just a tad!  At some point we either ignore the obvious or we just don’t care anymore and have become accepting or relaxed about our partners habits or questionable behavior.  A few examples are flatulence, personal hygiene and wardrobe selection.  Guilty, guilty, guilty!

When you put yourself out there again for the first time isn’t it just better to start out the way you mean to end?  I think it’s going to be hard to adjust my attitude and become aware that my date isn’t going to ‘get me’ or understand me right off the bat.  It takes time to really get to know someone ‘new’ and there are tons of bumps in the road throughout that process.  History with someone has comfort.  But that magical feeling of not knowing what is swirling around in the mind of ‘new’ and what comes next is the flip side of the coin.  If you could keep some of the unknown in a relationship with history, well now you’ve got something !

Now, if we are talking about Scott, he has no filter and is who he is, so I am not sure he is even going to try to adjust any kind of attitude.  I am starting to get on board with his thinking, it might be the only way to go.  Take me or leave me, it makes no difference to me.  Now that might be misconstrued as an attitude of not caring when in fact it’s just being real.

Online Dating tips: (I’ve added my own comments at the end.)

1) Promptness ~ don’t leave your date waiting, nobody likes to wait for anyone, it’s rude!

2) Smoking ~  Don’t, if you don’t care if your here in 10 years why should anyone else?

3) Make an effort to be clean and smell good ~ Scott just read over my shoulder and gave me a pointer “Tracy you stink” it came with ‘the look’, you know the one, the ‘you stink’ look.  In my defense we just got back from a 10K run, point taken, I should go shower and then resume my writing.  Horry (that’s sorry in Spanish lol) take me or leave me, I’m writing and don’t like to be interrupted when I am on a roll. (Comfort level slide example)

4) Truth ~ flip side, if you don’t want to hear it, don’t ask.

5) Never pretend to be single when you’re not. ~ come on, who hasn’t played ‘pretend I’m single‘ just once?

Here are my Dating tips:Kissing Date

1) Show up with a good attitude ready for anything.

2) Be prepared for kissing, that means floss the steak out of your teeth from the night before, gargle,brush your tongue, there is nothing worse than bad breath!

3) Who cares if he is not ‘the one’ maybe he’s fun, so get that thought out of your pretty little head that your looking for a husband and you will be guaranteed a better time!

4) If you want to sleep with him, your choice! Be safe!  But be prepared NOT to meet his mom!

5) Have absolutely no expectations, enjoy him for who he is.  It might only last two weeks but it could be two of the best two weeks of your life, so expect nothing and you won’t be disappointed!

6) Flirt!  Otherwise known as a compliment (if you mean it) Enjoy the flirty sexual chemistry.   It rarely lasts!

7) Leave something for next time, or there won’t need to be one!

8) Be yourself!  And let him be himself!  The all time biggest mistake women make in my opinion is to try to change the man they start out with.

Dating should be a blast!  Who really cares if your not the perfect match.  Nobody is so stop trying to find perfect.  And if it doesn’t work out maybe you found a good friend, a Best friend even!  To hang out with your best friend at the end of the day, isn’t that what we are all looking for?  Just go with it  and have fun!Tracy

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Women Cougars…not as scary as you might think

Why a post on Cougars you ask? (in southern drawl)  Well Whyyyy Not!  Just the word Cougar makes me giggle.  We have discussed age related topics lately and dating so why not mix the two to explore the possibilities.

What is a cougar?The Unknown Cougar !
The short answer: A cougar is an older woman who is primarily attracted to and has sex with significantly younger men.  I have to ask …”and this is wrong and unacceptable, why?”  (giggle)

The long answer: The most commonly accepted definition of a cougar is a woman 40 years of age or older who exclusively pursues very young men. “Define very” (insert giggle and cougarish grin here)  The onset of the cougar years is hotly debated.  The ten year age difference seems to be an unspoken but accepted minimum between participants.

Typically, cougars prey upon men almost young enough to be their sons.  Fortysomething cougars would be attracted to men in their 20′s, and fiftysomething cougars would pursue men in their 30′s and so on.  Some cougars are less interested in a relationship than a sexual conquest, perhaps enjoying the fact that they are physically appealing to men who are considered to be in the prime of their virility.  Again I ask …”and this is wrong and unacceptable, why?” and I’m giggling…What I didn’t know was that a cougar can be married or unmarried.Ashton Kutscher & Demi Moore

Although the term ‘cougar’ comes from the big game predatory cat of the same name, the cougar connection also may allude to the wearing of animal print clothing by older and more sexually aggressive women.  How many of you just stopped to think if they have been sighted wearing animal print lately?  I know I just mentally scanned my closet,  phew I’m good.

An early example of the cougar phenomenon was seen in the groundbreaking film The Graduate, in which middle-aged Mrs. Robinson (Ann Bancroft) seduces fresh out of  college Benjamin Braddock (Dustin Hoffman).  I recently watched ‘Flirting with Forty’ starring Heather Locklear and Robert Buckley.  It made me laugh for so many different reasons.

Barbra Hershey & In my opinion we are hearing more about older women with younger men because people in general have become more accepting and desensitized with just about everything in life.  Women are financially independent and are looking for fun with no complications or expectations.  Not to say that dating a younger man doesn’t come with complications.

Over the last few year there have been younger men entering my circle and I enjoy what they bring to the friendship.  I think for me it would completely depend on the person.  Age doesn’t mean anything if you have a connection and are honest, up front and just let the relationship develop naturally.  Never say never!Susan Sarandon & Tim Robins

Real-life celebrity cougar relationships include Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher (15 years), Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins (12 years), and Barbara Hershey and Naveen Andrews (21 years) to name just a few!  Each one of these men look like they have a secret when you really look into their eyes, ahh the eyes, the window to our souls.  And the women look confident, strong and very happy don’t you think?

If you have a cougar sighting  under no circumstance turn and run away, maintain eye contact, make yourself look much bigger than you are and back away slowly!  They love the chase!

So to conclude I ask myself, could I be a Cougar?  Never say Never!   Don’t knock it til ya try it right?

Flirting with Forty Movie clip~Looks like a no brain-er to me! lol

Tracy

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The Truth About Your Age

Bonnie's PostThis post is really a follow up to a team post we did a couple of weeks ago called “Do you ever lie about your age?”.  In this post we all seemed to agree that lying about your age was not necessary.

While surfing the net I found the following interview.   I decided to share it because I’d love to hear your point of view.

Click here to view video!

As I listened to 35 year old Evan Marc Katz say that he “feels people are lying because they are insecure and think that telling the truth won’t get them in the door”, I thought “how sad”. But is there some truth to what he is saying?  I’m afraid there probably is.

Now I’ll share a dirty little secret with you about my own shallowness.   (No Tracy, not that secret!)
When I met my now husband (who is 13 years my senior) I was 34.  I was completely taken with him in every way and although I knew he was older than I was,  I wasn’t exactly sure just how much older.  I was afraid to ask.   I actually thought “Oh please don’t let him be 50, pleeease don’t let him be 50!”   The number 50 just seemed like it would be too big of a gap for me.   He could read my mind even at that early stage and turned to me on our second date and simply said  “47. I’m 47.”   Phew! He made it by a measly 3 years!  There was an “acceptable” 13 year difference rather than an imaginary “unacceptable” 16 year difference.    If he’d said “50. I’m 50.”  I know I wouldn’t have said  “Stop the car, I’m getting out!” but I also know I would have felt uneasy about such a big “gap” in our ages.   Don’t forget this was when I was just getting to know him.   It all seems so ridiculous to me now.  Also, I  appreciated his honesty.

So what’s your take on all of this?  Embrace it!, or lie about it to “get in the door”?

Bonnie

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