It’s not me it’s them! ((((smile & giggle)))) o-k-a-y once it was me, maybe twice, three times tops! Dating after being attached for years is like learning to ride a bike again, except it’s a unicycle, with no seat, in the dark, on gravel, naked, in-front of lots of people…you know! Actually lets put the seat back on since we’re naked and make it a bright sunny day to imply hope. I am being sarcastic not cynical. I can honestly find humour in everything, especially my own life. The majority of the time I don’t really care but there is a part of me that still sits in the clouds daydreaming about what it would be like to be with someone who balances me in an older wiser sort of way!
There are those friends or colleagues that ask each week for a ‘story’ or sorts but now it’s getting ridiculous. Even I am getting tired of my stories and I love story time! In all honesty they usually end in a thunk! I seem to be a magnet for young men. My girlfriends and I have giggled on more than one occasion saying“too young for what?” I suppose it depend on what you are looking for. Don’t get me wrong dating a younger man has its advantages. At least going in you know it’s not going to amount to anything so there is no expectations or heart ache! Younger men don’t fear the unknown as much as older wiser male energy, and rightfully so. Life experience hasn’t shown them the darker side of lust or love yet. They have their whole lives ahead of them to find what they are looking for. My advice, take your time and never settle for someone who won’t allow you to be you! It’s exciting really! Give them a couple broken hearts and they will tread a little lighter when it comes to opening themselves to the female energy.
Younger men have a lightness about them and yes they are ‘fun’ if that’s what you are looking for…‘fun.’ Being asked out by 6’6 tattooed hottie who looks 34 but ends up being (((((21))))) flatters the ego (if he was 34) but I got rid of that many moons ago. Yup 21…I know! I just got the shivers too! Age is NOT just a number in some cases! Maybe he could have a play-date with my 15 year old, shoot some hoops and have a juice box of Kool Aid and a Tuna Sammy on a Blanky on the front lawn. He made Truck-Boy seem old! Sigh…ahhhh, Truck-Boy Some of my friends are still envious of me being able to lock the door behind me and have space to myself, but in reality that doesn’t happen very often. The grass is NOT greener on the other side people! Don’t just water your grass fertilize it!
Being on your own comes with some social stigmas that we don’t put on ourselves but society silently places them upon us when we aren’t looking. Some days I feel like yelling “There is nothing MAJOR wrong with me!…really!” And other days I think…there must be something major wrong with me! I can be deep and ask a lot of questions because communication is important to me. I am passionate and jump in and I have been scared and jumped back out. <~~~~~ feelings can be scary! Navigating the mine fields of the dating world can be difficult when you factor in all the elements of being older. Kids, schedules, exes, baggage, insecurities all come into play at some point. If you’re not ready to take all these on, it seems like a massive effort has to be put in and if you’re both not willing to, you’re hooped! Move on and save yourself the heart ache.
I like a challenge but that definition has changed over the years. When you’re younger, the challenge is more on a physical level than intellectual or emotional. The thrill of the chase is lead by raging hormones. Flash forward ~ hormone levels still surge but have been mixed with wisdom and maturity, changing the definition somewhat. Attraction is more mutual and want to be challenged on a more intellectual level through communication and spirituality not just physically.
I think of dating like this…Imagine standing at the bottom of the Grouse Grind. You don’t want to start the climb knowing you’re going to bail half way because it’s just as much effort to get your sorry ass back down as it is to go to the top. You also don’t want to start the climb with someone who is clearly holding themselves back to your pace or you to theirs. It should be a journey embarked on together reaching the top at least in view of one another if not side by side. Relationships challenge us in different ways as we age. It takes effort and sometimes perseverance to get to where you want to be. You just can’t judge the other person for where they are in life. Timing is everything and you can’t force love.
I am looking for different qualities and have relaxed somewhat to what I need and want. I have more life experience to draw upon which isn’t always a good thing. Being comfortable on my own has become the new norm. I can visualize where I want to be, having passion, laughter and love swirling around me and my family but as time goes by I question whether or not it is an achievable reality. I am still working on finding my patience. Oh look there it is…oops dropped it!
Life has a way of showing us contrasts. We learn from each experience what we want and don’t want in our lives. We make choices that move us forward and learn from the ones that allow us to sit still for a time. I have found lyrical beauty in
mating dating at times and learned a great deal about myself along the way. Ebb and flow.
Open your heart and stay true to who you are and you will Find Your Lyrical Beauty in Your Everyday Happenings… (((((smile))))