Past Lives…

As my conscious mind relaxed, I felt myself gently stepping down a spiral staircase. A soft feminine voice in the background lead me slowly to the bottom. I thoughts drifted back in time where I felt most comfortable. I belonged there in my heart. Her calm soft voice coaxed me to look down at what I was wearing on my feet. I was to tell my story using every one of my senses.

I looked down and saw my worm leather laced boots peaking out from the yards of fabric that gently rubbed back and forth with each step I took. It was a long dusty walk up the dry dirt road. I was watching from just slightly above myself, like an out of body experience. It was me who took each step towards the little house on the hill. It felt like deja-vu. I was relying on all of my sense to tell the story I was seeing transpire before my eyes.

It was a peaceful afternoon with a warm gentle breeze floating scents of spring through the air. Birds chirped in the distance whist nesting in the most beautiful tree I had ever seen. The little house on the hill felt like home.

I saw him for the first time with grateful eyes. I watched from above, yet I felt what she was feeling. I was attached to the feelings they had between them from a slight distance. I yearned to be in her body in that moment walking toward him with the rush of anticipation I felt. I was overwhelmed with joy. I felt as though I was floating through a dream, fluid and beautiful.

He was working hard in the field just behind the house. I knew he had been mine in another time which made me smile. He must have sensed me walking toward him. He stopped what he was doing and watched me come closer. I felt a surge of love envelope my entire being when our eyes met. He wiped the sweat from his brow as he leaned on the tool he had been using. The way he looked at me felt like he hadn’t seen me in years but I knew it had only been hours. He stood starring until I smiled, and then he laughed. At that moment my soul radiated the love I felt for this man. Love I had never felt before. It was from a time long before I was a glint in my fathers eyes. A life time ago…a past life time ago.

There was white cotton fabric blowing gently in the breeze through the open windows. I walked through the door not taking my eyes off of him as I navigated seamlessly to the open window at the back of the house. I was so drawn to him. It was a powerful connection. He was still staring, waiting to see if I was going to approach him. The magnetic attraction pulled me toward him. I felt like a ghost walking toward a free spirit…

I was interrupted by her soft calm voice. I wanted to stay in that moment forever. I tried fighting it but had dream-like strength. When her voice entered my subconscious, he disappeared. I was calmly persuaded to step forward in time to the next significant moment. I was in the midst of childbirth, my son was being born without his father standing at my side. I felt pain and sadness mixed with joy and elation of having a child. I knew my story was not going to end the way I’d hoped.

Her empathetic voice whisked me to another moment in time…

My body felt numb. I longed for him to return. The thought of him walking up the same dry dirt road I had, it seemed just moments before, had become a mirage. Our son was playing in the shade of the big tree on the hill. He looked about 6 years old, the spitting image of his father. A reminder of who was missing each time our eyes met. He had yet to meet the man he heard stories of each and every day. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he too longed to look into his fathers eyes just once.

I heard a rumble in the distance making its way to our little house on the hill. A familiar sound that once brought letters of his undying love. Wrapped in hope I held my breath, pleading silently for his return. I glanced over at our son innocently watching my expression as the rumble gently passed us by in a cloud of dust.

to be continued…

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Svaha Spirit Series: Teachers ~

We’ve all had teachers in school that made an impression on us. My English teacher Mrs Morton inspired our class because she was so passionate about the English language. I loved creative writing because it allowed personal expression in a class filled with rules. She would probably be horrified at my grammar in some cases but hey blogging is a loose form of writing…in general. I am still learning!

My Math teacher Mr Paulson was compassionate. The only reason I passed his Algebra class was because I tried so hard and he recognized my efforts! I came in everyday after school for help but still didn’t understand it. Sometimes you really do get graded on your effort kids!

Teachers have the opportunity to make a difference in our kids lives. My son and his friend were talking fondly of their teachers on our way home from school which made me smile because I knew exactly how they felt. Teachers make a difference! Taylor Mali is one of those teachers.

I’ve posted this video of Steve Jobs before but since Graduation is just around the corner I thought it was fitting. Enjoy, it’s worth the time I promise you…Pinky swear! 🙂 Stay Hungry…Stay Foolish!


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Going Back to School ~

Okay Girls, we’re going back to school for a semester, what are you signing up for?

TracyTracy signs up for~

I have been spending time with my friend Kelsey who has completed her 3rd year in Human Kinetics.  Kels puts every ounce of her being into her studies, which is reflected in her marks.  Each time we talk I hear the wealth of knowledge she has acquired.  She is a young woman who has found what interests her, and can do anything she wants to.  There is no doubt that Kelsey will be the BEST at what she does when she completes her studies.  I wish I had been as focused as Kelsey when I was her age.

Kelsey has inspired me to think about what I would take if I was to re-enter school.  I know when it comes to school the opportunity is always there, it’s just how badly you want it.  I would take a real mixture of classes, some that would lend themselves to what I am doing right now, others that I just find interesting.

Creative Writing~ I am passionate when it comes to writing.  My Dad, Robert Westerholm, is a writer.  I really love how visual and descriptive his writing style is.  I can appreciate his passion for words when reading what he puts to paper.  Check out his website Caterwauls to get a taste of his style.  I have a love for words in general.  There are so many different writing courses that interest me, but I think I would like to try my hand at  romance.  My Dad has written one of the most  psychological  love stories I’ve read Acts of Empathy.  Inspiration is everywhere!

Silver-smithing~ I would love to learn how to work with silver to create unique treasures.  I used to make jewelry and love the creative process.

Spanish~ Si Aún me siento un vacío cuando se trata de aprender esta lengua y considera necesario seguir adelante con él, así que un día cuando me conecto los puntos veo por qué soy tan apasionado sobre el aprendizaje de ella.

(Yes I am still feeling a void when it comes to learning this language and feel it necessary to keep going with it, so that one day when I connect the dots I see why I am so passionate about learning it.)

Introduction to Theology~ Theology describes the study, writing, research, or speaking on the nature of gods, especially in relation to human experience.  Typically the concept includes the premise that such study is done in a rational, philosophical manner and can also refer to specific schools of thought – for example, progressive theology, feminist theology or liberation theology.  I love the conversations that lead to what we believe in and why.

So goddesses what would you sign up for if you could pick anything at all !!

jacquieJacquie~

I went back to school to work on a degree when I was 25 and at that time I thought I was old!  The most inspiring person to me was a new art history professor who, at age 61, had just completed her studies and was teaching for the first time in her life.  She was slightly awkward and uncomfortable but you could tell she loved the subject and that she knew what she was talking about.  I remember thinking how cool it was that she wasn’t letting age get in her way and, at a time when most people are thinking about retiring, she was just starting out.  Every time I begin to think I’m too old to start something new I think of her and push forward.

I recently read a very interesting article in the New York Times about the increase in enrollment at community colleges in America and how people eager to upgrade skills, or change to more financially rewarding careers, are willing to take night classes at unprecedented hours.  To accommodate all the new students, colleges have started offering courses starting at 6 am or night school classes that begin at 11:45 and don’t end until 2:30 in the morning!  I can’t imagine putting in a full day at work and then heading off to school until the wee hours of the night, but I applaud those who are doing it and wish them much success and fulfillment.  I always threatened my kids that when they were ready to go off to college I’d register for classes myself and be able to hang with them at the cafeteria and out in the Quadrangle.  I did take a few more art classes when Emilie started university and thoroughly loved it.  I’m looking forward to being a senior citizen as I believe we can then audit classes for free.  I’m going to go confirm that and report back as I’d hate to give false information.   OK, found it.  Check out Yahoo! Answers for the scoop.   If you’re willing to take classes without getting credit for them them you can do the audit thing.  I’d just want the learnin’ part so I’ll do it when I’m 65, for sure.

Bonnie Johnson's PostBonnie studies~

When I think about the idea of  “going back to school” I know deep down that I just like to fantasize about the learning.  I don’t really want to go to a college/university and sit in a class or lecture hall with a bunch of students half my age…but I do love the idea of learning new things constantly.   Sometimes I wish that all classes were open to everyone and anyone and I could just drop in on some classes and learn something new and interesting, but then leave if it started to bore me.  Without being in trouble or needing a note.  Yes, I admit, I’d like to flit from subject to subject, learning all the while but not being tied down to any one topic.  I’m sure this speaks volumes about who I am.  Perhaps if I’d studied psychology I’d be able to tell you.  I get bored and distracted quite easily.  Learn, learn, learn, NEXT!  And then there are the tests that come with going to school.  I hate tests.  I panic during tests and when I panic my mind shuts down, my memory disappears and I don’t see clearly.  Not a good attribute for a student.

My son is working on his business and entrepreneurial degree.  I’m very proud at how hard he works toward his goal.  I love hearing about the courses he is taking and I’ve often thought I’d love to take some of those classes too.  I doubt these courses would have interested me when I was younger but now that I’m *cough* older I realize the value in the business knowledge he’s acquiring and I’d love to be able to use it myself in business.   I think he gets flashes of that truth now and again too, but for the most part he’s just trying to get through it.  Right now he still has the stress of getting good grades, working to afford it all, and maintaining a busy social life as well.  If I were to go back to school now at this stage of my life it would only be for the joy of learning.  The grades wouldn’t matter, I wouldn’t have to worry about affording it, and as for a social life…let’s just say going to bed early every night would not be a problem for me.

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