Let the Wind Blow ~

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IMG_5074I have questions!

What attracts you to the opposite sex when you first meet? Initially in person, it’s a physical attraction. It may be the way a man carries himself, how he interacts with someone in a crowd or his voice heard in a line up that piques our interest. It can be the look in a mans eyes that captures our attention. There are so many unique elements that makes us look, but what makes us want to talk? Is it as simple as the desire for human contact or is it a specific connection we seek? What are you looking for? <~~~~that’s the million dollar question in my world!

Attraction online it’s much different, conversation connects us. We read the words of another and get captured by how they express themselves. We view a still photograph and start trying to visualize the person in the flesh. Is it even safe to meet someone you have no mutual social connection with? Do you even think about that or do you just jump in and hope for the best? Is it better to get to know someone via email before you stand before one another, or does that make it harder?

What makes you want to take that ominous step forward to putting yourself in the same room with someone you meet serendipitously or online?

Next step…

What is their Intention? Do you think that’s a question that should be asked when you meet someone? Or should you just go with the flow and see where the wind blows the two of you? I have done both. Honesty is always best. I don’t think men or women naturally like to expose their true intentions out of fear, fear of being rejected or judged. As humans we don’t like either, but without risk we gain nothing and don’t grow and unfold.

I never used to think about what someones intentions were but it has been on my mind more lately. Living and learning is what life is all about isn’t it? Isn’t it? Taking chances? Opening your heart? Sharing, loving, living with inner peace and harmony. <~~~~ that’s just the hippy in me talking now, Captain Careful will rear her ugly head again and set her straight! Life is meant to be shared isn’t it? Maybe it’s hormones? Maybe I’m just tired and need a good sleep? Of Course I need a good sleep…but maybe…maybe it’s just me.

Inner voice “What does your heart tell you little grass-hopper?”

Other Inner voice ~ flips inner voice #1 the bird...conversation ends, again!

I think that whenever we have inner conflict or questions we need to take the time to express them, chew on them awhile and then just let them go, let the breeze blow them back to where they came from and just be…

Today I am just being…and I am grateful for the breeze blowing because I had ALOT to carry away!

Tracy signiture

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Are You Listening?

Tracy

Do you ever feel like your not being heard.  You start to raise your voice thinking it will make a difference, but by then the people you are talking to think your angry.  It can be frustrating.  It makes you think either your really boring or people are so focused on themselves that they just don’t hear what you have to say.  Self importance can be a slippery slope!

I was told a funny story about when you are having a conversation with someone you are to say ( in your head) while they are talking, “you”.  When you speak or adds to the conversation you say (in your head) “me” and it goes from there.  It should be about equal, you-you-you, me-me-me, you-you-you, me-me-me, equal amounts of input to make the conversation flow and not one sided.  It makes me laugh every time I get into a conversation with someone who doesn’t let anyone else add to the conversation.  Me-me-me-me-me-me and so on.

There are also those who manipulate the conversation around what they are trying to talk about (self importance rears it’s ugly head) but it just doesn’t naturally go in their direction so they force the topic change.  Those who are listening exchange that puzzled looks to one another and the self important person is back in control!  It all comes down to “listening” skills.  There are basic listening skills and entire websites just to learn how to listen, so it must be an epidemic!

Listening is one of the most important skills you can have.  How well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness, and on the quality of your relationships with others.
We listen to obtain information.
We listen to understand.
We listen for enjoyment.
We listen to learn.

listeningWith all the listening we do, you would think we’d be good at it!  In fact we’re not.  Apparently we remember a dismal 25-50% of what we hear.  That means that when you talk to your boss, colleagues, customers or spouse for 10 minutes, they only really hear 2½-5 minutes of the conversation.  Well that’s just great isn’t it!  No wonder, it’s all starting to make sense to me.
So that must mean that when we are receiving directions or being presented with information, we aren’t hearing the whole message either.  Let’s hope the important parts are captured in your 25- 50%, but what if they’re not?  The dots are starting to be connected!
There is huge room for improvement here, so by becoming a better listener, you will improve your productivity, as well as your ability to influence, persuade and negotiate.   This will help avoid conflict and misunderstandings – all necessary for workplace success.

So I ask, Are you listening?

Here’s some tips:
Pay attention. (Duh)
Give the speaker your undivided attention and acknowledge the message.
Eye Contact and head nods help the speaker be aware you ARE listening.
Put aside distracting thoughts. (God I’d like to reach out and kiss him right now~ not good)
Avoid being distracted by environmental factors. (what’s the smell?)

Body language can tell you heaps about someone, read them as they speak but don’t over analyse.  (his fingers are separated from his thumb on his chin, I just read that in a book, what’s the name again, it means either he is going to shoot me or… OMG he thinks I’m easy !)  Another distraction.

Allow the speaker to finish. (unless… your so totally bored and late to where your going, cut your losses and run)
Don’t interrupt, you will get your turn.  (At least you hope you do.  If you don’t, you’ll know for next time to say a quick hello and keep walking!)

Listening can sometimes be difficult depending on who is talking, but it is a respect we should all have for others.  If we become good listeners, maybe, just maybe it will rub off on those around us.  Lead by example~ If they see we are giving them our undivided attention when they have something to say it should be reciprocated!  We can only hope.

Share the air, you just might learn something.  Wadja say?

Tracy signiture

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