Powerful Women vs Women in Power

stilettos“With great power there must also come –great responsibility.” ~ Stan Lee

Not all Women in Power are Powerful Women. There are women who exude personal power naturally, and those who have to work for it. Those who come by it naturally generally don’t take advantage of it because they are secure in who they are. (there is always an exception to the rule) Life experience or character building is usually along the path in finding it. These women can’t help but walk into a room and have other women feel their vibe. They don’t flaunt it, or try to draw attention to it, it just is. If women are secure within themselves they admire it, are even attracted to it like a pyro to a flame. They recognize and appreciate from where it came.

It makes me smile when I am in the presence of such women. It’s sexy, inspiring and female energy at its best! Its like admiring a woman who takes care of her body, you appreciate what they sacrifice to be their personal best. Just as I admire a woman who takes the responsibility of her own personal power to heart, not using it against the sisterhood, but to help her sisters with it.

The women who crave this type of power for the wrong reasons end up stepping backwards. They try to find ways to achieve it but aren’t willing to do the work to get there. You don’t gain personal power by stepping on or pushing other women down. You can’t take another woman’s personal power, unless they allow you to. Consider it a gift and pay it forward if you manage to steal a little!

Now lets not confuse powerful women with controlling women. There are control freaks all around us, but usually theses type of women only affect the work place, personally we can just let that friendship go. In business, these women don’t delegate, they command, they don’t lead, they boss and they certainly don’t inspire. When you delegate as a leader you show you have confidence in others and inspire them to do their best, which in turn benefits ‘the team‘.

Deep down if you peel the layers off these controlling individuals you find insecurity. They have yet to find their own mojo. These women need help, and by help I mean a helping hand. This is where the responsibility of those who have worked hard to attain personal power comes in to play. It’s their responsibility to help direct these women to the path that benefits everyone. If what you are doing personally or in business is not benefiting those in your circle, you need to question what your motivation is and what you are trying to achieve. The first step in finding your personal power is understanding we are all part of the same circle or tribe, we are ultimately all connected. We all benefit from working together. In the big picture it’s about finding happiness and joy, paying it forward, letting go while we do what we love, sharing!

So lets follow this through a little further to where I believe in my heart all women can thrive. Women helping women! We started Tara Cronica 5 years ago to inspire other women to live their most authentic lives. We are a support network if you will. Networking and sharing our personal stories for the sake of others to give encouragement, inspiration and allow personal growth.

There is no longer room for ball busting bitches in the board room, it’s not necessary or a positive way to motivate others. You don’t need to have that reputation to succeed in business or be admired in the corporate world or otherwise anymore.

What legacy do you want as a woman to leave behind? I ask myself that often, having a daughter who appears to have been here before. She already ‘gets-it’ at 12 years old!

I came across this show, and if you know me you know I don’t tune in to the boob-tube often so I think I was meant to see this particular series on women inspiring women!

The Stiletto Network…


Inspiring women, inspiring women, doesn’t get much better than that now does it! How could you NOT want to be one of these beautiful female energies!

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…and for those interested in the Women’s Power Wheel which is the photo I used above, here is a link of a site I found very inspiring 😉

P.S…my fav is the second from the left, classic black! 🙂

Tracy signiture

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Exploring Male Energy


When you meet someone new it takes time to get to know who they are deep inside. Once you get past the surface layer and start to explore, the real unfolding begins. Social profiling happens naturally, giving us a clue into who someone is inside. Does he drive a Hummer, Smart Car or Hot Rod? Does he live in the City or out in the Burbs? What does he do for a living, Artist, Accountant, Fireman? What you see on the outside is not always what is on the inside. You need to dig deeper.

What someone spends their day doing can be a reflection of what interests them, sometimes, but we don’t all find ourselves immersed in our passion as a way of making a living. What matters is that we have passion somewhere within our day. Each individual soul placed on earth is here for their journey following their path. We are drawn to certain people for many different reasons. I like to think everyone has something to teach me whether it be a little or large lesson, I am open.

Our heart is what’s most important. Finding out what make it beat is the fun part. What feeds his soul? Where does he find inspiration? What does he aspire to do when he grows up? 😉 What is he doing to make a difference in the world? What makes his blood boil? What makes his heart race? What brings him to the point of no return? What brings him to his knees? What topic of conversation intrigues his intellect? What are his religious beliefs? What makes him giggle? What scares him? What part of the woman’s body does he find most erotic? Where are his erogenous zones? What was his most embarrassing moment? Has his heart been broken? Those are questions that are on my mind when I meet someone new. They don’t need to be answered right away but they are floating in the back of my subconscious.

It takes time for our true colours to shine. Everyone has had a struggle here or there, I view those moments as an opportunity for character building. Isn’t it more important how someone deals with less favourable situations than the perfect ones? We all make choices in life to where we are going, some earlier than others. Does it matter what we do as much as how we do it? Have we lost the desire to find out what really matters because we lack the time and energy to do so? Do we have the patience anymore to take the time to get to know someone, I mean really know someone!

Before you start to explore the male energy write down what it is you want his energy to radiate. Here are a few things on my wish list…care to add what’s on yours?

Passion, intellectually stimulating, sensual, romantic, sense of humour, spiritual, healthy, creative, unselfish, confident, affectionate, loves children, loves to travel, compassionate, inner strength, sexual compatibility, chemistry, loves life, strong moral values, integrity, loves nature!

Time and patience is the only true way to find out what is deep beneath the surface.

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The Making of a Girlfriend ~

I have been watching the dynamics of my daughter and her girlfriends lately and it’s made me aware once again how difficult it can be finding the right group of girlfriends, as a young girl or as a grown woman. There are so many insecurities in girls and women. I think some girls never lose these insecurities even as they evolve into young woman. I believe if we are aware, we can change that.

Young girls don’t yet have the tools to navigate friendship, mostly because they haven’t experienced much as a girlfriend. Girls learn pretty quick what they don’t want when it comes to friendship. They gauge every situation on how it feel, which is a good start, trusting your instinct, but there is a lot to learn as a female in the world of friendship dynamics.

Some girls are confident by nature, but there are those who aren’t who bring down their friends in order to feel better about themselves. As a young girl we don’t understand that but realize as we grow and evolve its life. Jealousy is a big part of why girls knock their friends down as apposed to lifting them up. Jealousy is a horrible emotion that is a sign of insecurity not one of love. We need to build up the confidence of our precious little girls so that they have a chance at being a best friend one day. I learned that if you surround yourself with confident positive friends you will always leave their presence feeling just that, confident and positive. I love my girlfriends, each and every one of them for giving me that unique gift of friendship.

One of my daughters teachers told me that there is already a lot of ‘girl gossip’ going on which doesn’t surprise me. I am a Mom who stands outside my daughters class twice a day and I see what’s going on with attitude and simple facial expressions they trade back and forth. Girl gossip or drama what ever you want to call it, can be hard for some girls to navigate away from, my daughter seems able to so far. I worry more about her than my son because girls just generally seem to be programmed to gossip. Girl gossip lead me to more friendships with our male counterpart growing up, now I have a healthy combination of both! Life is too short to spend a single moment with those who uninspired you.

As a young girl I had lots of different friends from different groups. I attended different schools and played sports which added to my circle. I loved the variety, no judging, just accepting everyone for who they were. It was comforting to know you had friends everywhere.

Girls navigate through their friendships with fear, they are naive and need to learn what it is to be a good friend. My daughters come home with hurt feelings because of others and it’s hard to just stand by and watch, but necessary for her to learn what she wants in a friend so she can be a good friend too. I am confident one day she will surround herself with great friends that will stand the test of time. She will learn that those who put her down or bring negative attention to her efforts will not be standing at her side in years to come, but she will learn from them what she didn’t want in a friendship.

Friends come and go and if your lucky you find a Best friend who will stand by your side throughout your life like I have with Bonnie. I think you need to earn the status ‘Best friend’ though and it comes with time and experience of being a good friend, eventually evolving into a Best friend.

So my advice to young girls is be kind to your girlfriends and they will give you unconditional love forever. With real friendship you feel safe, supported and completely yourself and with that you can do anything!! 

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Funny Thing About Ageing

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Bonnie Johnson's Post

Ageing is a funny thing isn’t it;  funny-ha ha occasionally but lately more funny-hmmm to me.  I’ve been looking back at how some things were so important to me when I was younger and how, after adding some years to them, they just don’t seem so crucial anymore.  Is it that I’ve grown wiser or have my convictions just worn down a little?

Take kids for example.  When my son was small I fussed about keeping him clean, properly rested, well fed, and generally on a strict routine.  I spent a lot of energy seeing to things that I felt were imperative.  And there is nothing wrong with that, but now that I’m older I think I’d go about it differently.  If I had a do-over day, I’d probably play outside with him longer and let him get right into the biggest mud puddles.

I’ve noticed that I’m not as critical as I once was.  I guess I have more understanding now that I have more life experience under my belt.  I’ve noticed annoyances that used to irk me in years past easily roll off my back now.  I’m mellowing.

Except for the fact that I have to put waaay more effort into maintaining my physical body which is intent on growing outward and downward and that random hair (sometimes usually gray) sprouts in random places and that my eyes don’t work well anymore (could be a good thing), yes despite all of that, I like this ageing thing.

I joke a lot that I wish I was 10 or 20 years younger, but the truth is I wouldn’t go back.  I like moving forward and I like developing into my better and better self.  It would be a whole different story if I felt like I was in a rut and hadn’t developed into a better person along the way.  If that were the case I’d probably feel cranky and bitter.  Hey, that may explain those old cranky bitter people!

I’ve also really enjoyed watching my good friends “of the same era” grow into more confident and self-assured people.  This all makes me smile and definitely takes the sting out of some of the negative side effects of ageing.

I guess my convictions haven’t really worn down but have simply changed.  I still feel passionate although not necessarily for the same things I did when I was 20.  And that’s a good thing because if I was still that girl, although I’d look great in a bikini, I wouldn’t know it.  I’d still be scared and unsure of myself.

So here’s to getting older!  It’s a funny thing.

Bonnie

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I Need to Change…Madonna.

I Need to Change…We All Need to Change…

Madonna is famous for change…  She continues to grow as a artist and person which is what I admire about her most.  Never Fear Change!

Here is a video which explores the ‘Change’ Madonna has gone through over the years.  She is such a strong, confident woman who is very comfortable with who she is and who she is becoming…

Your  ‘doings’ may change but your ‘intention’ should remain solid and pure…Svaha!
Tracy signiture

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‘Friends with Benefits’

Tracy

When I first started writing this post I had a humorous view but when I weighed my options of making a point that I feel is very important and finding humour in almost anything, my humorous view almost flew out the window and the real me came forward.  I think I can do both, find humour and make a point.   Let’s see.  We have all heard the term ‘friends with benefits’.  It’s basically having hopefully great sex with no strings attached.  In my day, I remember that being called a one night stand or a booty call.  There was a reason for feeling bad after having one but I can’t remember why now…the age thing and memory starts to fade when you hit 40!  But with teens now it doesn’t  just happen one night or time, it lasts as long as they want it to.  But who ends it, why and when?  That’s where the emotions come in and I think where things go awry.

Am I right?  Correct me if I am wrong girls or guys out there.  My girlfriends son told her it is quite normal for teens to have ‘friends with benefits’ and they don’t get looked down upon.  Sign me up I guess if both parties are consenting and are having safe sex it’s their decision to make.  Would I want a friend with benefits?  Would you?  We all have the opportunity, it’s whether we take it or not.  I am struggling with this right now and don’t know if it’s my conditioning or a generation gap.  Part of me say’s well “Whyy nott” but the other part of me says “it’s not good for the soul”.  To not know where you stand with someone is hard enough when there is no sex involved.  Emotions and chemistry is what give sex such passion.  The moral side of me says ‘Live by example’ and the fun side not so moral side says ‘live with no regrets’. Stay with me here I am working through this as I write.

What I think bothers me about this the most is that it is happening younger and younger and some teens are not mature enough to make this decision on their own. They are afraid of being judged by their own peer groups.  It’s much like bullying in the way that when boys are rough with one another, it is possible that one of them doesn’t really want to participate but is forced to out of pressure of not wanting to appear weak.

Friends with Benefits sounds to me like a decision that is made without the thought process that should take place when deciding to give a sacred part of yourself to someone who doesn’t really care if it’s you or not.  I am a confident strong woman but I didn’t get this way from making poor moral decisions in my life.  (Bonnie stay out of it ! ha)  I think it is up to us as parents to do everything we can to make sure our sons understand the self-esteem issues young woman get when their self worth is questioned.  It’s also our responsibility to make sure our daughters have confidence and respect for themselves, as well as from the opposite sex.  I am not sure I could have a friend with benefits unless of course  Gabriel Aubry walked through my bedroom door, then I would be naked in an embarrassing nanosecond.  Humour is important in life and helps lighten certain topics of conversations, but morals and values are the basis of your character.   Teach your kids first as a parent.  Live your life as a soul enriching your existence.  Live by example.  Try to make good decisions and learn by questionable ones.  And always remember it’s about assessing blame. (joking)  So I think I like my friends just the way they are!

Tracy

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