This is not a topic I would normally discuss here on Tara Cronica but I feel that this information should be shared. I recently watched a video series on the Oprah website that dealt with ‘Inside The Mind of a Child Molester’. I found the show disturbing at times because of the honesty but also VERY informative. It’s an inside look at how sexual predators picks and groom their victims. No one really likes to discuss this sort of thing but I feel that it’s a topic that if approached from the mind set of learning, or teaching, it benefits everyone.
I consider myself a very aware perceptive person especially when it comes to the safely of both my children. I was just as aware as a child, street smart is what we used to call it ‘back in the olden days’ as my daughter would say. I talk openly to my kids, not to scare them, but to make them aware that not everyone in this beautiful world we live in is of good intent. Some individuals are in need of help but don’t know how to get it, some eventually do, but at the cost of a child losing their innocence. I try to educate my kids about those individuals and teach them to trust their instincts. Mine have kept me safe for a very long time. (touch wood)
Recently a Sex Offender/Pedophile that lives close to my neighbourhood, who was caught, convicted, served ‘some’ time, has been released back into the community. I know there are hundreds, if not thousand we are unaware of but when this happens in your community you are forced to deal with it up close and personal. I was starting to give my son more freedom, now I am having to make him aware again that there are adults out there that cannot be trusted and don’t have his best interest in mind. Sad but true. Some parents choose not to have this conversation with their kids in fear that they might not want to go outside and play. That is a personal choice that I completely respect. I think educating our kids of realities that can change their lives forever is necessary! It’s a very fine line to navigate for sure.
The purpose of writing a post on this graphic topic is to share information that can keep your kids safe, and empower them instead of instilling fear in them about some of the realities in life.
I was with a girlfriend a couple of years ago at a public venue when we were followed and watched by a lone man who seemed more interested in our kids than the displays. We made our kids all aware of this man and told them to stay close, not to worry we were watching him. The hair on the back of my neck stood up and I physically shook when he was in close proximity, it was that strong of a feeling for me. No one has ever made me feel this way before. I felt so strongly about this I photographed him without his knowledge just in case there was a problem. Later my son told me the man had asked him to go with him in passing, he didn’t go. But he delayed in telling me this information which would have changed the entire situation for me. I would have immediately called 911 had I known this. Kids don’t think like we do, in my sons mind he dealt with the situation by not going. Kids also don’t know what information is relevant at the time.
After talking to a friend of mine who deals with such individuals, he told me we did the right thing. My kids learned a valuable lesson that day. I was aware and didn’t turn a blind eye to my instinct. My worst fear was challenged but in the end my kids were safe. It confirmed to me that you MUST TRUST YOUR GUT, when the bodies physiology actually changes when someone is in your presence, it’s for a reason! Trust your intuition! I was told most people ignore this feeling because they don’t want to appear foolish or cause a fuss.
What I passed on to both my kids was that it’s not only girls this happens to, my son also has to be aware. Kids who are confident and secure in their families who talk openly to their parents are at less risk than those who are neglected. Kids need to know that if they tell, we as parents have a better chance of preventing it from happening again. And most of all IT’S NOT THEIR FAULT!
This video series will tell you what to look out for and some signs that will put up a red flag! Over 90% of child molesters know their victims and are trusted by them.
This is a short clip of “Inside the Mind Of a Child Molester Part 1”
For the entire Video Series go to Oprah.com