Life is meant to be shared ~

“I just need to find someone to share it with” is what I keep hearing from those around me. I can relate as I’m sure many of you can. Life is meant to be shared. Sharing it with friends and family is incredibly fulfilling but finding a partner to share it with intimately seems to be a quest of many. Need is maybe not the right word. I’ve struggle with this word at times. In the past I’ve associated need with weakness. “I don’t need help, I am a self-sufficient strong independent woman who can do anything.” Hearing that back doesn’t sound the least bit weak although it’s said with the intention of not wanting to appear weak. (and I can be slightly stubborn at times) There is nothing weak about wanting to share and explore the beauty of life with an intimate partner. The trick is finding the right one.

As a woman it’s hard to balance independence and strength without losing your femininity. Women naturally want their man to take care of some of their needs. Some of us even have the burning desire to be save by a man. I need to be saved from myself I think. At times I think I am only attached to this world by a thread, I often find myself floating away to my world which seems in no way a reality.

I think until you allow yourself to be vulnerable in life you don’t really experience all life has to offer. There is nothing wrong with wanting someone or needing someone in your life as long as you’re not dependent on them. That’s when obligation and expectation step in and wreck everything in one clean swoop! When you lose your independence you give away your strength. Balance is so important in life, yin & yang.

Want is perhaps not as scary as need“I just want to find someone to share it with.” I think there are life experiences we need to have that strike a cord within us that make us move to another level. And then there are life experiences we want that enrich and allow us to grow as individuals. Feeling vulnerable is not an emotion everyone is comfortable with, I’m certainly not. When you’re ready to open yourself up and be vulnerable, real passion in life begins. Passion is something in my opinion that needs to be shared. When you have real passion for what you do you can’t help but inspire those around you.

I was in the company of my parents on the weekend and their chemistry after 60 years together is still in the room. They found someone to share it with and somehow manage to keep from floating away making their passionate love a reality. It is possible. I’m looking for that someone who will feed my soul, not my ego. Who will let me float away when I need to but will reel me in from time to time to balance my fairy tale with reality.

We all want to share a part of our life with someone. It doesn’t have to be all at once, it can start with bits and pieces until it feels right to share more. It’s not a race. It’s about timing and letting go to allow your life to just be.

We as human beings like to share. Elation, can’t help but be shared. Love yearns to be shared. Desire burns if not shared. Inspiration is wasted if not shared. Music is created to share. Lust comes undone when shared. Peace wants to be shared.

Life is meant to be shared…

 


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When Chemistry Heats Up ~

Sexual chemistry can heat up soon after our first impression of the opposite sex or same sex. We are attracted to different traits and have a unique list of personal preferences. We tune into every little detail. We begin profiling subconsciously, looking at ones health, confidence, how one walks, talks, mannerisms and their aura to name a few. It can be as detailed as the timbre, pitch and tone of ones voice, scent, or simply the way their eyes look deep into ours. We all have a different list that draws us closer to an individual.

Then there is the release of those wonderfully sensual pheromones we can’t hide from if we tried. They draw us in closer. I love this part because it become more personal. The main reason I believe you NEED to meet someone in the flesh to see if their pheromones draw you closer or repel you. We instinctively sense whether we are able to connect or not, allowing our union to go a step further.

Depending on your frame of mind or circumstances we can either have chemistry explode right in front of us when we first shake hands or it could be a slight delay waiting until just the right moment to ignite. Shyness or lack of confidence on either the male or female side can delay chemistry from mixing which inevitably leads us down the path of intimacy is we so choose. Timing is key. Keeping in mind that although you find a man or woman attractive it doesn’t mean you will have that spark that goes deep beneath the surface.

When initial attraction takes a sharp turn heading straight for your loins there is no other feeling quite like it…sexual chemistry can’t be faked! You know exactly what I’m talking about if you’ve experienced the real deal…if not let me describe it best I can 😉

It’s an electric sensation that sparks from eye contact when you don’t look away. It sends a flutter into the pit of your stomach making you feel slightly off balance. The sensation surges through your entire body. You experience a surge of adrenaline, exhilaration and fright in waves each time your eyes connect. His energy swirls around your body sending the urge to reach out and touch him. It’s an adrenaline rush that quickens your pulse and gives you tunnel vision intensifying your touch, sense of smell and taste. You are tuned into his frequency allowing you to hear his breath from a distance giving you the strong desire to be close. You notice small details like the subtle bite of his lip as he stares straight into and through the windows of your soul. His hands give off an energy that vibrates at the same rate as yours…you are in sync.

When you have undeniable sexual chemistry with someone it’s hard to stay focused on anything but them, especially in a room full of bodies. You are distracted by their movement, smell and sound of their voice. You find them inside your head everywhere you go. You are completely and utterly out of control. Embrace this feeling as it is most intense when the union is new, changing slightly as feelings grow. Add trust and comfort to sexual chemistry and an explosion will knock you both to the ground!

Moments of attraction to the opposite sex can heat up with a simple glance in the right direction…don’t be in a hurry to look away, embrace them, for you are alive!

Sexual chemistry is just the base of the beginning…

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Would You, Should You, Could You Internet Date?

Is it really that hard to meet someone? I’ve been unattached for a year and a half and have had Internet Dating Services come up in conversations with friends more than a few times.   😉

Here is my take on my first impression of a few: Plenty of fish is one that keeps coming up but seriously the name, when I think of fish I think of throwing them back, they’re wet, cold, scaly and not the nicest of smells out there, it’s just weird. eHarmony, their ads just seem too good to be true and you know what they say about that! There is Crazy dates, they actually have written “Meet the Crazy Bitch here” in their ad, I feel regret just thinking about that one! There is Sugar Daddies where the classy, attractive and affluent can meet, whose your daddy, ahhhh no. The last one that caught my eye was Its Just Lunch Vancouver for busy professionals, they do all the work for you, you just show up and have lunch, brunch or drinks, no pressure! Are you kidding, isn’t the anticipation or moment before you get asked out the BEST PART of meeting someone new, other than kissing for the first time? I don’t get it, it shouldn’t be WORK, they should say,“we take all the pleasure out of it for you!”


Seriously, I just don’t feel right about someone else planning a date for me. Its like someone picking out an outfit in a clothing store who doesn’t have a clue what your style is, even when you tell them what you like, if they can’t find it they start suggesting other options. I was looking for a Jeep years ago and a car salesmen actually called me and said he didn’t have a new black Jeep available but he did have a 1985 white pick-up truck. WTF is that? That’s what I would be afraid of, do they push the guys who aren’t moving very quick and have an expiry date on them like old bananas in the produce department? If I worked there I would set up joke dates until I was fired just for laughs. It feels creepy and desperate to me, but never say never, right? Not likely for this chick!

I don’t get out much so I see the point, if someone doesn’t walk or drive by between 9 am and 9:05 am while I am sitting having a quick gulp of coffee on my front steps, or knows my walking route and lays on the horn so I can hear them over my blasting ipod, it’s just not likely to happen while doing my daily activities. I guess there’s kid sports but I am there watching the sport not scanning the audience of parents looking for a potential date *cough*, okay if Carri’s there I do, cause that’s just fun.

I am on the computer for a healthy part of the day so it does make sense as a place to meet someone, a common interest, but I am at home in my office and I am a little old fashioned when it comes to meeting people and rely on Chemistry to guide me. I’m not too worried about it to be honest, I am just living my life, doing my thing and if someone catches my attention I will take it one step at a time.

I was talking to a friends Mom across the street about dating and the internet and she agreed with me, we are going to leave it up to fate. We both love our independence. I find that those who are in a relationship think those who aren’t are lonely, we are not lonely, we are alone and there is a difference! The way I look at it is that if someone isn’t in my circle of doings and I need to meet them on the internet because we are so damn busy, that option isn’t looking good. I know I have to make a conscious effort to get out and will when the time is right but for now the internet for me is about surfing for ideas not guys or potential dates or mates. What do you think? Would you sign up for dating through the internet, or leave it up to fate? Have you met anyone online and had it work out? Let me know what’s worked for you? I really am interested to hear what’s worked for those who are navigating the dating field.

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In the Mind of a Hopeless Romantic~

TJ It’s like a record playing over and over in your head, the song you just can’t stop humming. It’s become so familiar that it is a part of who you are. It’s not just in my head, I feel it every time I think of him. I’ve been wrapped in his spell for as long as I can remember. I can’t find my way out, every time I try and I have tried, it just starts all over. My hopeless romantic mind will not let it go. When he does finally come for me, and he will, the world will spin out of control trying to balance the electrical force we will create when we do finally surrender to one another.

There I was, standing in a room filled with music, people and chatter. I was engaged in a conversation with a complete stranger who was standing so close I could feel his breath on my ear as each word danced from his mouth. He was warm and passionate. He was someone I could spent hours talking to, the conversation was effortless, flowing easily.

The Kiss in the CrowdAs we were exchanging words, I glanced across the room and there he was…just standing there looking at me. Instantly my entire body was wrapped in his energy. You could hear the sparks fly across the room between us. The chemistry was magical. My entire being was encircled by his. If I closed my eyes I think I might have been able to hear his heart beat. His stare was intoxicating, looking deep inside me. There was no need for words, the look on his face expressed his intentions crystal clear. The connection was unbreakable, everything disappeared, the people, the conversation, even the music. He walked directly towards me with such certainty. My heart couldn’t beat any faster than it was at that very moment.

romantic kissWhen he was standing close enough to touch I felt the strength in his arms scan my body moving upwards. As his strong hands cupped my jaw line, I closed my eyes slowly to focus on my next breath of air. When my eyes opened we connected once more just as he leaned in and opened his mouth slightly. I was completely enveloped in the moment.  I was taken to a place I thought only existed  in my mind. He was breathing from his chest, the closer his lips got to touching mine the faster our pulses raced until we were completely in sync. Our lips touched, mixing our chemistry creating a concoction neither of us had tasted before. We stood silent in the moment. I would remember this feeling for eternity.

Our lips slowly parted, both overwhelmed by passion, there was no going back. I opened my eyes to the voice of my complete stranger standing next to me “Tracy, dance with me”, grabbing my hand he lead me through the crowd to the dance floor. I smiled, still in the moment inside my hopelessly romantic mind. I paused and looked around the room one last time, then danced like no one was watching~

I was listening to Michael Bublé while running and loved the words to his song “Haven’t Met You  Yet”, then I saw the video and had to add it to my post, seems I am not the only one !

Tracy signiture

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Kissing XXX

Tracy I believe in long, slow, deep, wet kisses that last three days” quote, Kevin Costner’s character from the movie ‘Bull Durham’.  A classic line.  You know what they say, those who are talking about it aren’t doing it!  But are those who are doing it, doing it well?
Kissing…just let your mind wander for a moment and think about the Best Kiss that has ever been planted on your lips and what made it just that!  I know mine, you know who you are!  🙂
A kiss can take on many different forms and reflect a variety of different emotions.  The kiss dates back to the beginning of human history and remains a huge part of relations between men and women, one of the tell tale signs if someone is a great lover.  A kiss can be the measuring stick to determine if there is a second date in some cases.  It tells you if you are both feeling the chemistry that is in the air between your lips.  There is nothing better than a great first kiss, the anticipation that leads us to it is electric and if it’s what we hoped for, shivers and butterflies!  Okay, there is only one thing better than a great first kiss and that is a kiss that feels just as great years later!  Bliss…kiss bliss.

KissingMost women put a lot of stock in a man’s kissing ability.  Some women will even claim that a first touch of the lips is a solid indicator of how the relationship will pan out.  Apparently men find it hard to discuss kissing with women, because they believe they are already a good smoocher.  Kissing is personal, so when one women thinks a man isn’t a great lip locker, it means nothing, it’s merely an opinion.  With the right person it can evoke many different moods that range from playful and loving to sensual and erotic.

If you are a women’s Best Kiss you will be remembered forever and a measuring stick for life.  Nothing else will be quite the same as that one set of lips you loved to lock with, until you meet their match.  Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs to meet your ‘Prince’ but that’s the fun part! kissing

The kiss is the single most underestimated intimate display of affection.  I think the kiss is the key that unlocks the door of your relationship that leads you to an entirely different level.  If you can rock her world with a hot passionate kiss, the relationship from that moment on is open to explore.

There was a study done on kissing and it was found that women based their decision of whether or not to sleep with a man purely on their kissing abilities.  No Gin or Tequila needed here guys, just your luscious kissable lips!!  The perfect recipe for a great kiss ~I don’t think there is one.   Kissing is a personal expression of emotions that happens when it can no longer be held back.  Next time you give a kiss, make it one that will be remembered!  Now go lock lips like you mean it!!

Tracy signiture

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Cheating…

Cheating

I’ve been wondering lately, not for any specific reason, why more women are  entertaining the thought of having  a fling or affair of the heart.  I have a wide circle of friends and this topic eventually comes around the room at some point. (No, it‘s not YOUR wife who has mentioned it!)  Women are sharing their stories more openly to one another of opportunities presented to them to cheat on their significant other.

Is it that we are being more truthful with one another or has this always been there but we haven’t dared talk about it so openly?  Is it becoming more acceptable because we are desensitized by what we see on a regular basis in the real world?  Or maybe it’s just an age thing?  As we get older are we starting to think about how much time we have left to really enjoy our bodies.

Are we aware of the younger generation and how relaxed they are about their sexuality?  Does this make us envy their carefree attitude?  Has sex become something of a extracurricular activity that doesn’t mean what it used to.  Sharing yourself with someone used to be a big deal, but again maybe it’s just an age thing.  Some couples waited until marriage to share themselves with their spouse, they were called Virgins.  (insert cheeky grin here) I think some still do?  I know women who have married their first sexual partner.  And some who weren’t even close. Which makes me wonder if it’s realistic today to marry your first sexual partner.  Does that alone peak your curiosity about other men or women?  How could it NOT.  I will file that topic for another post.

Today there is ‘friends with benefits and less pressure to be in a monogamous relationship.  What’s happening to us ?  Are we starting to think it is unrealistic to be with the same person for the rest of our lives?  Ya think? (that’s just my opinion)

Marriages end in divorce more than ever before.  Sometimes because of that fling or affair of the heart.  It’s not normal to have sexual chemistry with someone for 20 years.  Or is it?  I have yet to meet a couple who does.  Leave a comment if you still have sexual chemistry with your spouse and how you keep it.  But be HONEST!

What I have gathered in my research is that women cheat for many reasons and each situation is unique but the main reason  is because of how the ‘other’ man makes them feel.  It’s not generally for money or status.  It’s pretty basic, ‘he makes me feel like I used to.  It’s the little things our partner does for us that make us feel good when we first meet.  That is perhaps what we are missing that leads us down the path of self gratification.  The initial sexual chemistry fades but a deeper love becomes present in most long term relationship that is more satisfying than a meaningless sexual encounter.  (for most)

So men …if you can make your woman feel like she used to then perhaps her thoughts of cheating will stay just that…a thought.  And women,  if we treated our men as we do the ones we just met, perhaps we would hold onto that chemistry we are all searching for.  Or not…lol  Comments are always welcome! Tracy

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Chemistry…

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “Chemistry”.  If it’s your high school Periodic table of the Elements, then we’re not on the same page, but keep reading because it feels like being back in high school, when you do have it.

It’s that feeling you get when you look into someones eyes that you are extremely attracted to for the very first time.  That intense and inexplicable feelings of sexual attraction when the person you desire is nearby.  It’s electric, overwhelming even, which makes you think of nothing else but sensual, erotic thoughts involving the other person.  It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it’s out of this world!!  You can’t ignore it,  if you do,  it will drive you crazy.

The only feeling that has even comes close for me was a helicopter ride for the first time.  It was such an adrenaline rush all I could say the entire time we were in the air was “Oh My God!”  What a feeling!

Scientific research has shown that pheromones can play a huge role in sexual chemistry.   Pheromones are subconscious sex signals that the body gives off to attract the opposite sex.  These invisible airborne molecules are thought to influence one’s emotions and sexual behavior.

You can’t make chemistry happen, it’s either there or it’s not.  It’s a basic instinct that you can’t control, so why not embrace it for what it is, an energy felt between two people that makes you feel alive and youthful.

Chemistry leads you down a path that can not be easily changed.  If you do follow this path, in most cases it leads you right to the beChemistry between the sheetsdroom.  If you feel this chemistry with a certain someone outside of the bedroom chances are it will also be felt when your between the sheets.

The major difference between how men and women feel about this phenomenon is that men seem to be able to have great sex without such sexual chemistry, while women seemingly cannot.  Have you ever felt this incredible energy with someone?

Tracy

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Beyond Marriage…part one

Before anything else I really want to say “Happy Birthday” to ‘a really good friend of mine’.   He is spontaneous, charismatic and a seeker of knowledge.  He has all the qualities of a true warrior; discipline, strength of mind and body, ability, courage and loyalty, to name a few.   He is limitless and forever pushing the boundaries of what life has to offer.  He is able to read people intuitively.  He is not a man who will fall prey to women who think they can get what they want with a simple batting of their eyelashes or sexual manipulation. He is far too intelligent for that.  A free spirit with wings that keep developing so he can soar above humanity and change the world by living as an example.  He has true greatness inside that he lets out in small doses for those open to it.  Scott is the most incredible man I know.  He is an evolved human being who has always been my Best Friend through pretty much everything.  Our Friendship is unbreakable!!  Happy Birthday Scott !  You’re  amazing, to say the least! xoIt's my Birthday !!

Now here is an excerpt from a novel I am working on called…

Beyond Marriage...part one  by Tracy Westerholm

The feeling of being out of control and not knowing.  The feeling you get when you first meet someone is so powerful.  When you first catch that sparkle in their eye.  They reach inside your soul and touch you with theirs.  Your entire body changes and you feel every cell come alive.  It’s as if they have complete control over you.  You get jittery and feel cold.

Sometimes we just get a glimpse into the window of their soul and walk away afraid of looking back.  Afraid of what?  You can’t deny these incredible feelings.  It’s an energy that is felt by both.  Your heart flutters, your knees go weak.  You’re nervous beyond belief.  Just being near that persons chemistry drives you to a place we all want to go.  Passionate love!  It’s meant to be out of control!  You can’t control it, that is what is so incredible about it.  Passion

To lose control and let it happen is so difficult for us.  If we did,  I think more of us would be happier, passionate souls in this very planned life we all live.  We need to break free of what is expected of us and get rid of the obligations we put on ourselves and have others put upon us.  We need to do what makes us more in tune  with our natural instincts.

We all want it more than anything else but are afraid of letting go of traditions that have been passed down from generations before us.  We are not living the life we are meant to unless we have the courage to adjust and move forward with what comes from deep inside each one of us.  We need to ask ourselves “What do I want?”  ” Am I being true to myself?”  These are questions I have had at some point in my life.  I’m sure you have too.

If we are really true to ourselves and honest about what we want and need, life would be more fulfilling  and much simpler.  We need to slow down and have eye contact with other souls who are open to that unique connection.  Our lives are so busy and full that we don’t see anymore.  We can’t connect with others if the connection has been lost in the process.  To experience this for yourself try to be open to others and really look into their eyes.  The powerful connections you will feel will bring you into the moment and make you realize there is more out there if you simply open your eyes to it.

to be continued…

Tracy

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