I’ve said before “Don’t knock it til ya try it”, so I tried it, sort of. I am talking about Internet Dating Sites. There are lots to chose from, eHarmony, Plenty of fish, Match.com, It’s Just Lunch, to name a few. I decided to join one, not to date but to find out if any guys have met someone compatible. I put up a picture and filled in the questionnaire. I put right in my profile that I was a blogger doing research looking for information, good or bad, about personal experiences with online dating. I made it clear that I had no intention of ever meeting anyone in person. Almost immediately I received instant messages which made me laugh, first was a 26 yr old, seriously I could be your MOTHER! I forgot to adjusted my age range! The default is 18-99! I quickly changed it to 30-32 much more realistic! lolol!
After about 10 minutes of that I panicked and immediately wanted to delete my profile but when I tried it said I couldn’t for 24 hours! OMG-24-HOURS! This was a terrible mistake! I was getting instant message pop up after pop up from different profile names, none of which were actually names, mountainman, execxxx, tall1100, all wanting to IM me. No good could possibly come of that! It’s worse than texting, I hate texting! It was like facebook when I didn’t know how to turn off the email notification that came to my phone every time someone poked me! And I assure you poking on a dating site is nothing like Facebook! lol There is an option that allows you to hid your photo and only share it with potential dates. Identity concealing? Hmmm, as much as I disagreed with it, I jumped on that option as soon as I could! After I hid my photo, Voila, no more messages! Phew! Without a photo its kind of like reading classified ads…boring. Not that I’am boring, but my profile was! lol
In general, I felt uncomfortable talking online to men I knew nothing about, they could potentially be axe murderers! Not that any of them are! The guys I communicated with were great and had a mix of good and bad experiences, just like regular dating. Some found love and others met some real wing nuts! One thing all the guys could agree on was not everyone is as they appear in their photo! My advice, use a realistic picture, not one you want to look like or used to look like 10 years ago but a new one! Why lie, unless you don’t plan on ever meeting up in person! They may not say anything, but they’re going to notice the obvious misrepresentation! Women have been told for years that men don’t notice what we perceive as flaws unless we point them out, in this case it’s NOT a flaw to be YOU! Deception on the other hand is not a good way to start a relationship! Be happy with who you are and you will find a partner who will love you for who you are! Start out the way you mean to end and be honest!
The guys I communicated with changed my perspective, to some degree, it doesn’t seem as horrible or desperate as I might have first thought. There were the obvious guys who were just trolling looking for a good time, but just like meeting in person you have to kiss a few frogs to meet your prince charming! Here is an example of what one guy wrote me that made me giggle!
Quote: “I’ve had lots of romantic relationships with people I met online. I married one and it lasted over 4 years, another lasted 6 months and was very passionate, and then others of shorter duration but very postive parts of my adult history.
The whole thing is terribly interesting. The two worst dates of my life were with women that were so gorgeous I could barely say hello when we met, and by the time we finished eating I couldn’t wait to be rid of them. One was drunk and vulgar and the other had table manners that were so bad I was embarrassed to be seen at the same table with her.
Then of course there were the ones whose photos were 10 years and 50 pounds ago. But I had invited them to dinner and didn’t want to make a scene so I kept smiling and picked up a big check”. anonymous (‘BIG Check’ lol)
There are positive and negatives to meeting on the internet, just as there are for meeting in person. For me there is nothing more magical than seeing someone in person who makes your heart beat faster. Chance meetings make us feel as though its destiny, meant to be, whereas internet dating seems premeditated in my opinion! Premeditated isn’t the best choice of words but I think you get what I am saying! Online you can eliminate a few things you wouldn’t want to deal with through your profile, such as drinkers/smokers but apparently not everyone is completely honest with their profiles as I was told by quite a few guys.
Thanks guys for your honesty and willingness to help out in the name of research. I wish you all success in finding your true love or whatever it is you’re looking for! I think you get out what you put into it, just like anything in life. If you’re really serious about online dating you should join one that meets with you in person to avoid any misconceptions.
I will add that not a minute past the 24 hour mark, my profile was deleted! I am too much of a romantic to meet a love interest online, for me it would have to be by chance, divine timing with eye contact, pheromones and natural chemistry!
Happy Dating Everyone! No, I didn’t meet the handsome dude on the left, (Bonnie had the nerve to say he’s wayyy to young for me and wrecked it!) I just liked the look in his eyes!