24 hours of Online Dating…for Research!

I’ve said before “Don’t knock it til ya try it”, so I tried it, sort of. I am talking about Internet Dating Sites. There are lots to chose from, eHarmony, Plenty of fish, Match.com, It’s Just Lunch, to name a few. I decided to join one, not to date but to find out if any guys have met someone compatible. I put up a picture and filled in the questionnaire. I put right in my profile that I was a blogger doing research looking for information, good or bad, about personal experiences with online dating. I made it clear that I had no intention of ever meeting anyone in person. Almost immediately I received instant messages which made me laugh, first was a 26 yr old, seriously I could be your MOTHER! I forgot to adjusted my age range! The default is 18-99! I quickly changed it to 30-32 much more realistic! lolol!

After about 10 minutes of that I panicked and immediately wanted to delete my profile but when I tried it said I couldn’t for 24 hours! OMG-24-HOURS! This was a terrible mistake! I was getting instant message pop up after pop up from different profile names, none of which were actually names, mountainman, execxxx, tall1100, all wanting to IM me. No good could possibly come of that! It’s worse than texting, I hate texting! It was like facebook when I didn’t know how to turn off the email notification that came to my phone every time someone poked me! And I assure you poking on a dating site is nothing like Facebook! lol There is an option that allows you to hid your photo and only share it with potential dates. Identity concealing? Hmmm, as much as I disagreed with it, I jumped on that option as soon as I could! After I hid my photo, Voila, no more messages! Phew! Without a photo its kind of like reading classified ads…boring. Not that I’am boring, but my profile was! lol

In general, I felt uncomfortable talking online to men I knew nothing about, they could potentially be axe murderers! Not that any of them are! The guys I communicated with were great and had a mix of good and bad experiences, just like regular dating. Some found love and others met some real wing nuts! One thing all the guys could agree on was not everyone is as they appear in their photo! My advice, use a realistic picture, not one you want to look like or used to look like 10 years ago but a new one! Why lie, unless you don’t plan on ever meeting up in person! They may not say anything, but they’re going to notice the obvious misrepresentation! Women have been told for years that men don’t notice what we perceive as flaws unless we point them out, in this case it’s NOT a flaw to be YOU! Deception on the other hand is not a good way to start a relationship! Be happy with who you are and you will find a partner who will love you for who you are! Start out the way you mean to end and be honest!

The guys I communicated with changed my perspective, to some degree, it doesn’t seem as horrible or desperate as I might have first thought. There were the obvious guys who were just trolling looking for a good time, but just like meeting in person you have to kiss a few frogs to meet your prince charming! Here is an example of what one guy wrote me that made me giggle!

Quote:I’ve had lots of romantic relationships with people I met online. I married one and it lasted over 4 years, another lasted 6 months and was very passionate, and then others of shorter duration but very postive parts of my adult history.

The whole thing is terribly interesting. The two worst dates of my life were with women that were so gorgeous I could barely say hello when we met, and by the time we finished eating I couldn’t wait to be rid of them. One was drunk and vulgar and the other had table manners that were so bad I was embarrassed to be seen at the same table with her.

Then of course there were the ones whose photos were 10 years and 50 pounds ago. But I had invited them to dinner and didn’t want to make a scene so I kept smiling and picked up a big check”. anonymous (‘BIG Check’ lol)

There are positive and negatives to meeting on the internet, just as there are for meeting in person. For me there is nothing more magical than seeing someone in person who makes your heart beat faster. Chance meetings make us feel as though its destiny, meant to be, whereas internet dating seems premeditated in my opinion! Premeditated isn’t the best choice of words but I think you get what I am saying! Online you can eliminate a few things you wouldn’t want to deal with through your profile, such as drinkers/smokers but apparently not everyone is completely honest with their profiles as I was told by quite a few guys.

Thanks guys for your honesty and willingness to help out in the name of research. I wish you all success in finding your true love or whatever it is you’re looking for! I think you get out what you put into it, just like anything in life. If you’re really serious about online dating you should join one that meets with you in person to avoid any misconceptions.

I will add that not a minute past the 24 hour mark, my profile was deleted! I am too much of a romantic to meet a love interest online, for me it would have to be by chance, divine timing with eye contact, pheromones and natural chemistry!

Happy Dating Everyone! No, I didn’t meet the handsome dude on the left, (Bonnie had the nerve to say he’s wayyy to young for me and wrecked it!) I just liked the look in his eyes!

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Poor me, poor me

Bonnie Johnson's PostIf you find yourself saying “poor me” or if you are having trouble finding something to feel grateful for on this weekend of Thanksgiving (in Canada), then here is a little inspiration for you.

If you are able to see to read this blog, then be grateful.

If you are disabled in one way but able in another, then be grateful.  Focusing on all you do have and appreciating even the little things opens you up to feeling good.   Keep reaching for the better feeling thought by appreciating all the little things that are good in your life.

Ben Underwood (January 26th 1992 – January 19th 2009) didn’t have a long life, but boy did he live it fully while he could.  Limitations?  What limitations?  I’m grateful to have found and met (through YouTube) the amazing Ben Underwood and his remarkable mother Aquanetta.

Svaha!

Bonnie

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We’d LOVE To Hear From You!

Bonnie Johnson's PostI was recently told by not one, not two, but four different people that they were afraid to leave a comment on our site.  What? Why?  Apparently they all felt a little intimidated by it.  One even admitted that she had started a comment but then erased it all before she hit the submit button.  OMG (Oh My Goddess)! Never be afraid to leave us a comment!  We live for comments!

We are always anxious to hear what you think about whatever it is that we have just written about, the good, the bad or the indifferent.

Whenever a comment is left on our blog we get an email notification asking us to accept or deny the comment.  Unless you are spam, we always accept your comment.  The only other reason we wouldn’t accept your comment would be if you were…well actually I can’t think of a reason why we wouldn’t.  Even if you were being incredibly rude or slanderous we would still probably accept your comment because we are desperate for more comments would then be able to respond with why we disagree with your rude or slanderous behaviour.  That way we would then have just logged two comments rather than no comments and we are all about getting comments here!  The site is meant to be a conversation between us and you after all.

I have my cell phone programmed to receive these notifications and to play a really cool little tune called “Inspired Epiphany” whenever one arrives.  How perfect is that?!  We want your voice to be heard right away!
When I hear “Inspired Epiphany” coming from my purse or pocket or wherever my phone is, I get a warm and fuzzy feeling all over.  It feels like Christmas morning or a birthday or any other gift receiving time of the year.  That’s how excited I get about receiving a comment on our blog.

Oh, and don’t think it’s just me either.  When Tracy and Jacquie were here recently they too raced for a lap top or pc whenever they heard that little tune.  The person posting that day would check her computer every half hour just in case a comment had been left and we hadn’t heard my phone.   I think you’re getting the picture now.

When we do receive a comment it means, to us, that we have written something that you have found interesting and compelling enough that you wanted to participate in the conversation regarding it.  Plus it gives you the opportunity to tell us if you appreciate or do not appreciate our point of view.  I have to admit a lot of comments are a boost to the ego but they also help to inspire us to want to write more.  So please don’t be afraid to leave a comment on our site (which is waaay better than emailing us privately or leaving a comment on Facebook, although we do really appreciate those too).  You don’t have to say much.   Just let us know you are out there and what’s on your mind.  Pleeeese make my phone play “Inspired Epiphany”.  It means far too so much to us.

I found the following list written by Liz Strauss at successful-blog.com and I’ve added my 2 cents worth in blue.

10 Reasons Readers Don’t Leave Comments

1. What you write is so complete, that I don’t know what to say except good job. I feel silly writing that, so I read and move on.  Oh don’t feel silly.  We’d love you to say “good job”!

2. You’ve taught me something I didn’t know and I need to think about it before I even have a question. Much like number 1, I don’t want to embarrass myself. I’m better off moving on.  We are certainly not judgmental so you should never feel embarrassed by your opinions.  Everyone’s opinions are valid.

3. I get ready to type a comment, but I notice you only respond to a few friends who mostly share inside jokes. I won’t take the risk of being overlooked in public. We don’t do this.  Besides we don’t have enough people who leave comments to be accused of this yet…and then we still wouldn’t anyway!

4. The folks who comment on your posts like to argue and I don’t. I’m not sure I’m brave enough to fight my way into the crowd.  Sheesh! I wouldn’t blame you, but we haven’t experienced this at all on our site.

5. You rarely respond to comments. So, there’s no point in writing one. We do respond! Sometimes we feel like we do it too much…like we are just so glad someone is saying something to us that we can’t stop talking…it’s a nervous thing really.

6. Your blog has geeky attitude and I’m not geeky enough to keep up. I’m pretty sure we can’t be accused of this one!

7. I really like your blog and your post, but I’m too tired, busy, or any one of a number things that you can’t control. I’ll comment the next I come back to read.  No worries.  We wouldn’t expect you to feel like you always had to comment.

8. You end your posts with a giant general question like “What do you think of the Big Bang Theory?” That question is such a big one. I don’t have time to answer it. I feel strange answering with a lesser comment.  This doesn’t fit our blog either.  We aren’t trying to solve the world’s mysteries…just trying to connect with people.

9. You put up a fence by making me login to comment. I have too many passwords already and I don’t know you well enough to add one to my list.  We don’t do this either.  You just have to give us your name, email address (not shared), web site (only if you have one) and then the comment.  Easy.

10. Your content wasn’t fresh and exciting, and I couldn’t find anything YOU inside it. It seemed the same post that I’ve read on 10 other blogs. If I commented, I would have to tell you that.  Ugh! Leave us a comment telling us to quit if we ever get like this!

PLUS ONE: Your post was negative. Negative is scary. Most folks don’t like negative stuff, because they know they could be next to be the recipient. I don’t comment, because I don’t want to be part of it.  Again, same as above.  Our focus at Tara Cronica is to inspire and to share and connect with you.

A heartfelt thank you to those who do comment on our site.  Now, Ready.  Set.  Comment!

Bonnie

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