If you met someone new and were attracted to them physically, what would be a deal breaker for you? I had this conversation with a man who I find attractive…we’ll leave it at that! He was looking at my ears for an extended length of time, which I didn’t notice at first, but then he let the cat out of the bag, big ears are a deal breaker for him! “Seriously” was all I could say, while laughing nervously wondering…”Do I have big ears?” I don’t, but you never know what someone else’s perception is of you.
I’ve learnt as a woman when a man says you have…lets say ‘small ears‘, just go with it. You don’t argue or debate it, you have small ears from that point on for the rest of your life! He also told me a moustache was another one of his deal breakers, phew is all I could think, thank god for tweezers and a 10X10 mirror! I am starting to think it’s very important in your 40’s to date men who wear glasses! You have no idea how tempting it was for me to wear a set of dumbo ears and a black stache when we met for coffee! The stache I can take care of but what if I did have big ears? Would he really not want to hang out with me?
So, having had this conversation, it made me wonder what my deal breakers might be? I say that like I’ve never even had a list! lol I called Bonnie and explained our conversation and said I couldn’t think of mine! She actually laughed out loud and said in a stupefied voice “YOU HAVE TONS!” I replied in denial “I do? I did? I’ve changed!” Hmmmm I guess I have a few but I really have changed over the years and I think some of my deal breakers are now negotiable. I am not looking for a man to have perfect babies with or someone who I will spend the next 50 years with…hang on that’s actually possible, the 50 years part! I am looking for someone who can be themselves around me, who is confident and has no expectations. I’ve learned to accept people for who they are, flaws and all! But I guess we all have things we just can’t get past. If I was really in love and I mean head over heels in love with someone, would I even see what might have been a deal breaker in my past?
I try not to look at what I don’t find attractive as much as what I do find attractive. Having said that, I also know that when someone does something that grates on you, it can be hard to ignore! 🙂 But that works both ways and is where compromise works its way to the surface of any union. Physical appearance is something we can’t always change, so it wouldn’t bother me as much as behaviour in someone. Arrogance for example, is a turn off for me. Sense of humour is a huge turn on. Vulgarity; turn off, chivalry; turn on! Intellect I would take over dumb and handsome every time! Do you see what I mean, it doesn’t have to be a physical deal breaker. I like to focus on the positive, like a man’s hands, hard working hands that can take care of me…sexy. There is so much to love about men, I won’t list all the parts of the body I find attractive, I’ve written that post on my ‘other’ blog…Male Sexy Bits. The bottom line, every man is unique and has attractive qualities. That’s what you should focus on!
I think for me if a man is healthy, and lives by example I could overlook a few things, if he was willing in return. Cause we all know unless you’re willing to turn that magnifying mirror around, don’t go there! If a man takes care of himself and loves himself, and there is natural chemistry between the two of us, I don’t see how I couldn’t fall for him. I look at it like this…If I am going to put my time and love into another human being I want to know that they care about themselves as much as I do.
So I guess my only real deal breaker would be someone who doesn’t take care of themselves in mind, body and spirit. We all eventually pass on, so for me the time we spend here should be cherished, in the moment living life to the fullest, so our time here on earth is well spent! I keep fit for my heart and soul, I eat to live and laugh for mental health! Here’s to the next 50 years, I can hardly wait to meet you! 🙂 (or maybe we already have!)