Back to Basics ~

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IMG_6835I have had a great deal of inner dialog lately that seems to surface at unexpected times during my day. It feels like my subconscious is sending out warning signals, interrupting my thought process, trying to remind me to stay connected. I have been in deep thought about what I want and how I am going to achieve it, physically, spiritually, mentally, financially and in love. Times up, todays the day!

The physical part is easy…just do it. Put your shoes on and go! Lately I have lost my connection with that feeling of being exhilarated by movement. I crave it! I am starting to understand why.

“Hi my name is Tracy Westerholm and I am addicted to massive amounts of social media!” There I said it. Social Media has been the instigator to my disconnect. Too much time with my face in my phone engulfed in every iPhone app related to connecting with others, which has made me feel disconnected with myself and oddly enough…others!

WARNING RUN ON SENTENCE AHEAD…

Lets be honest all the social media that is out there is actually NOT allowing us to connect with one another up close and personal! I don’t have time after I log in to Facebook and check my messages, upload a pic or two, say hi to a few friends, BBM the handsome dude back East, answer my Text Messages, scroll Instagram, WhatsApp my non iPhone friends, check out who checked me out on OkCupid, answer my regular Email (not one but 4 accounts) Facetime my daughter in the other room, Skype, Snapchat, Pinterest, download a new song from iTunes, listen to it, YouTube the latest cool video, MapMyRun but now I am so tired…I don’t run! Good God no wonder I don’t have time to meet you for coffee! I need a nap just reading that!

I am deactivating ( <~a true addict) distancing myself from Facebook (insert gasp here) and although I know I will go back at some point, I need this brake break. (<~ thanks Bon…see I need your balance…come back!) I need to fall back in love with me, so I have taken a few steps to unplug all the distractions that are preventing me from becoming a better me. I need to find my focus.

Reconnecting with my spirituality has also been on my mind, but has been clouded by the chaos that I have allowed to surround me. I need to reconnect with what is important to me. I need to listen to my heart without all the distractions of my head.

Financially I am starting to feel in control. It is about balancing needs and wants. Having the desire and drive to achieve short and long term goals you set is critical in seeing them to fruition. If you don’t set these goals you lose sight of where you are heading. Having spent the last year working at Envision Financial I have become very much aware of what is important in finding a balance in my financial life. I have also experienced first hand how having a plan in place helps you reach your goals, no matter what they are. I love my job and the women I work with, they are so willing to share their knowledge and support with one another.

Mentally I strive to be in a place that makes sense. I think too much. Although I am ready to take on whatever comes my way it can be daunting at times. I remind myself ~ It’s how we react to tough situations that makes us truly who we are, building our character along the way. I think all of us need to take a mental vacation from everything to see clearly what we need to change. I know I do, I am.

Love! I can’t write anything without there being an underlying voice of love, it’s who I am. It truly is all we really need. Loving unconditionally without boundaries or restrictions is the purest form of love. I have struggled over the years to understand what I want and need in regard to love. I think I may be searching for a moving ship. Some days I sink, other days I float.

One thing I know for sure is that I need my girlfriends! Female energy is nurturing. When I  walk next to one of my girlfriends, whether my heart is heavy or light, whether I have tears of sadness or joy they always seem to balance my energy with theirs making us feel empowered and able to take on the world once again!

Have a wonderful long weekend everyone! Be safe and connect with someone up close and personal, it matter!

Svaha ~

Tracy signiture

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Do Vancouver Men Really Suck?

I was watching Global News the week of Valentines and they had a series called ‘The Things We Do For Love’ which covered all the basis from the pursuit to married with child. Did you know there was such a thing as a wedding proposal planner for the bride groom who doesn’t want her his special moment to be anything less than perfect? Is that starting off on the wrong foot, trying to be perfect? Are women putting that much pressure on their man to be perfect? Are both parties setting themselves up for disappointment in the future when the honeymoon stage is over? Or do they just want a little taste of the fairy-tale while it’s still attainable? I’ve written about Fairy-tales & Happy Endings! (Fairy-tales are make belief, and Happy Endings will cost ya!) Have women lost faith that the male energy can create and orchestrate his own moment…and it be just right?

The series included a serendipitous meeting of a couple who met online by mistake when an email was sent to the wrong address, who are now married with a 2 yr old. Unpredictable and unplanned! Su-weet story. Who cares how long they will last, what’s important is that they took a chance, embraced the unknown and jumped in with both feet. I wish them years of happiness for doing just that!

* romantic sigh *

They also had a Match Maker who thinks men and women hide behind their computers which doesn’t allow them the chance to get out and mingle like they used to. I agree with her wholeheartedly! Nobody talks face to face anymore, communication is via Facebook, Text, Skype, Twitter, E-Mail, BBM, iMessage, MSN ect. There is simply nothing better than standing close to a man, staring into his eyes as he speaks to you. (insert deep inhale here)

There was attention brought to an article in Vancouver Magazine “Do Men in Vancouver Suck?” and although they only included a few female opinions they all agreed they do! In the article the women said single men in Vancouver were passive with no plan, uninteresting and uninterested. Uninteresting is such a general statement to make about someone. There is someone for everyone, so to say someone is uninteresting doesn’t mean they are to everyone. Uninteresting to a specific woman or man perhaps but certainly not to all. Uninterested is also a very general statement. You can’t fake interest in someone, you either are or you aren’t. It’s such a personal attraction and sometimes there’s simply a lack of chemistry so it really doesn’t matter what you do there isn’t a connection. Build a bridge and get over it!

Male energy as you all know intrigues me. I have always had lots of great man-friends. I relate to men and understand them to a certain degree. They are far from perfect as are women. When we come to terms with that, they’re much easier to navigate as are we. I am not sure if men are passive because they have no plan, I think men have slowly been put in the back seat because women of this generation have goals of their own to achieve. Husbands and family are no longer their number 1 focus in many cases. ‘Don’t make someone your priority when they treat you as an option’ works both ways! Women are self sufficient and don’t need men anymore. There are even ways around conception that don’t require a man in the same room. So why wouldn’t men just sit back and watch women succeed without them? Woman can be unapproachable, and lets face it no one likes rejection. Men find comfort in their man-cave watching the game with their buddies, eating hot wings and laugh their asses off with no pressure to preform in a socially acceptable manner. Women find comfort sharing stories with their girlfriends over a glass of wine, laughing their asses off just being themselves. The trick is to be able to do what makes you comfortable with or without your partner in the room, it should be no different whether they are there or not. You need to get out and do what YOU love, and if you’re joined by someone you dig perfect, if not perfect! Just let it be…

I have met some great men over the last couple of years, a good % of them have not been available because of circumstances at the time we meet. Timing is important for sure. Everyone is just doing their best in their situation, trying to navigate life. That can be a difficult task on its own, let alone adding kids and jobs, personal time, living arrangements ect ect ect. Life is more complicated than its ever been for men and women, and I think in time things work out the way it’s meant to be. We all just need to settle down and relax, take one patient step at a time and don’t put so much pressure on one another to meet a socially acceptable time line. Be you and allow the man you have your eye on to be who he is, authentic and true. Follow your heart and eventually you will know if it’s worth exploring further. Accept those who walk into your life for who they are NOW, you have no control or shouldn’t want to control who they unfold to be in time.

When you just start living your own life, things just seem to come together. Start walking, you might be surprised who joins you. Get rid of your expectation because there is no guarantee how long each person will walk along with you in this crazy thing we call life.

I personally think the men in Vancouver are just reacting to the women in Vancouver in their own way. You get what you give in most cases.

 

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