Intimacy…

Holding-hands3

Intimacy…the ultimate sexy! Being drawn to someone without control is a feeling that many of us only experience once in a lifetime. It’s a magical force between two who connect on a much deeper level. It’s not just about sexual chemistry, although that too can be very intimate. Pure intimate feelings come from a much deeper place. A touch of the hand while staring into the eyes of someone who sees right inside your soul is intimate. A feeling of belonging together formed from a bond of experiencing the other.

There are two types of intimacy; physical and emotional. Love is intertwined in both. There are also two types of love within intimacy; compassionate and passionate. Compassionate love involves diminished feeling of attachment to the other. It is authentic, committed with profound feelings of caring for the other. Passionate love is identified by infatuation, intense feelings of sexual longing, throes of ecstasy and feelings of exhilaration that fill the room when you are together. To have a combination of both physical and emotional intimacy with passionate love is what most of us are ultimately seeking.

It’s a look across a room filled with people to that one person who turns you inside out and back again. A gaze that is only meant for you. A moment suspended in time. They know exactly what you’re thinking. It’s the magic of an intimate connection.

When we open our heart and expose ourselves making it known we are vulnerable to the other we experience the most profound intimate moments. It can’t be controlled, even if you try. You can walk away physically but your mind won’t allow you to leave the room they’re in. It can be a scary step if you’re not ready to open yourself to its entirety. A risk that many will not allow their heart to explore.

When you fall intimately for another human being they live inside your mind. They change the physiology of your body. They stir your soul. You become enveloped by their energy. They surround you no matter how far their physical form is from yours. They stand next to you inhaling your presence. It’s a powerful sensation that can overwhelm the ordinary.

Intimacy is considered the product of a successful seduction…so sexy!

Tracy~

Share

Never say Never!


NEVER say NEVER! It seems that every time I do the Universe has a funny way of making me re-visit that particular ‘Never’ in order to understand it more clearly, with the end result usually being a learning experience. I like to think of myself as a non-judgemental person and I believe I am for the most part. Sometimes we need to experience things to decide what we want or don’t want. It’s a way of finding out what is most important to us and what we are willing to compromise on.

I have met some pretty awesome male energy over the past couple of years, some who were honest as soon as it was humanly possible, and some who took a little more time to release their truth. We all have different comfort zone that allow us to share our feelings, hopes, dreams and desires. Timing is key, as we are all on different paths going different places at different speeds. We can’t always control what leads us down a path, so we float a bit in the unknown to see where it flows, not knowing if it will lead us anywhere at all, and sometimes much to our surprise it does. We are simply testing the water, fishing so to speak. We are then forced to either come clean or lie. Most conscious human being come clean, being true to self.

How do you approach dating? Do you do your own thing in hopes of meeting Mr Funny-Pants serendipitously? Do you mingle in coffee shops with girlfriends hoping to catch a glance from Mr Potentially Almost Perfect while he sips his latte? Do you agree to blind dates? There are so many ways to meet people if that is what you want to do. You just need to get out from behind your computer screen and walk out your door…or not!

I wrote about online Dating and Dating in general several times…Do Vancouver Men Really Suck ( I think not), 24 Hours of Online Dating…for Research (perhaps I didn’t give it the ol’college try…because I didn’t go to college), Would You, Should You, Could You, Internet Date? (I cracked myself up with this one), Dating Etiquette (including my very own dating tips…wait for it! lol), Do we have time to ‘Date’ anymore? (clearly I wasn’t ready to date yet!) so it’s obviously something I have an opinion on. I joined a free online dating site which is what spawned my post ‘24 Hours of Online Dating…for Research’, to see what all the talk was about, I panicked and delete my account because I was bombarded with strangers wanting to instant message me. I hated it! I would NEVER do that again. NEVER! Yup I said it loud and clear!

After dating a few guys over the last couple of years I understand more clearly that everyone has baggage including me and timing is key. We are all doing the best we can, trying to balance our busy lives. We are not always 100% available, which inspired my post In search of the Elusive Available Male and Patience (I found patience!). I finally have patience! I decided to join a more reputable dating site to take yet another peek into the world in which I didn’t quite understand. It was with the intent to find out more about what type of person goes that route and does it really work? The skeptic in me was front and centre but my curiosity fought and won. I took a step out of my comfort zone to find my answers. There was a lot of ‘winking’ and emails with introductions that sounded genuine, with the odd scammer thrown in for discomfort.

Reading the online safely tips put things in perspective but when you think about it, being safe should always be your number one concern when meeting someone new. Communicating online makes sense for those who are busy professionals, if it’s done carefully! Online you don’t have body language and eye contact which are huge when it comes to intuition, and trusting your instincts. However you are able to save time by ‘doing your research’ on someone you find initially attractive. Online you save yourself the surface conversation finding out where they live, what they do, kids/no kids, hobbies, lifestyle and what they personally express that they are looking for. It’s much harder than it looks to write about who you are, what you believe in and what you are looking for in a partner. I was seriously impressed with how great these guys communicated through their bios.

I was told by my online friend that you really have to rely on your spidy senses and instinct. He takes his time with meeting in person and gets a feel for who he is communicating with first. He has had success twice with online relationships. When I relaxed and put my trust in my own intuition which by the way said he’s a good guy I took control and started talking. I found there were a good number of guys not sure if this avenue was for them either but they were willing to give it a try. I admired them for putting themselves out there. We are all looking for the same thing really, we want someone to share in our hopes and dreams, to laugh out loud with and smile at from across the room. Life is meant to be shared, when you are ready!

I am old fashioned and do believe meeting in the flesh is best…but that doesn’t always work. After I took a step back and opened my mind to something new I realized that as long as I am honest and authentic I have nothing to lose in what I choose to do. There will be those who don’t play by the rules or bend what is the norm and those who have a less favourable agenda, but that’s their choice. I relaxed and started talking to a few guys whose profiles really impressed me. I came to the conclusion that although it’s not really for me, or perhaps my first choice, there were so many great men who really knew exactly how to express themselves, conveying beautifully what they want and who they are.

I suppose if you really want something/someone you will make the time for it/them.

My only advice to any dating whether it be online or in the flesh is be honest right from the very first glance or hello. There is nothing better than knowing exactly where you stand with someone. You are allowed to take your time to figure things out. If they are meant to be yours, they will be there when you do! Be true to self and everything else just happens as it should.

I will NEVER say NEVER again!

Share

Want to Be a Guest Blogger on Tara Cronica?

Have you ever wanted to be a guest blogger?  Now’s your chance!

As you all may have noticed Jacquie has been absent from Tara Cronica lately. She is taking a break for a while which is why we are changing the format on Monday/Tuesday to a Guest Blogger spot. If you have something you’d like to share that’s humorous, inspiring, taboo, artistic, intriguing, creative, touching, a charity or cause you think is making a difference, a musical interlude, or you just want to give a shout-out to someone and it fits the integrity of Tara Cronica, then let us know via email! Don’t be shy we are really open here on Tara, so give it a shot to be heard!

Male or Female Energy is Welcome!

Tara Cronica is about “Exploring the Never Ending Desires that Fuel All Life While Finding Lyrical Beauty in Everyday Happenings.”

Send your message/post of inspiration to  Tracy or Bonnie, along with a short bio and picture of who you are with your website link. We will contact  you to let you know when we have a spot available!
tracy@taracronica.com
or
bonnie@taracronica.com

Svaha!

 

Share

Young Man, Older Woman ~

If I’m writing about it I must be living it…right? Not always true but I will admit there is always some truth in what I write. I’ve been known to stir a few pots in my time. Sooooo, keeping all that in mind lets get into it.

Ladies, has it ever been a fantasy of yours to be with a much younger man? Many woman dream of this scenario, as do many young men so I’ve been told. If the two can find one another I imagine it could be quite the encounter.

I look at the whole male energy not just the age. I decided a couple of years ago I was going to experience those who came into my life for who they are, however long they decide to stay regardless of age. I have no expectations of what anything should or should not be in regard to relationships. I refuse to slot anyone because of their age, young or older. Basically, I have no plan.

It’s really all about what your intention is. I have girlfriends who are completely turned on by the younger male energy and those who are equally turned on by the older male energy. Age is just a number and is a general guide as to where someone is in life. There is always an exception to every rule.

I’ve met quite a few younger men over the last couple of years, not sure why but I suppose it could be my age, or simply the energy I put out or just the fact that I’m a flirt. It’s the look behind a mans eyes that initially draws me to him not his age. Not all younger guys are just looking for a quick romp with a more experienced woman. I think the younger men who are not just looking for the older woman fantasy are attracted to a womans attitude and confidence not their age. Younger woman in general don’t seem to be as secure in their own skin which is a shame. I remember feeling like that in my 20’s. I am much more comfortable in the skin I’m in now. Older women generally know what they like, who they are, where they are going and are not afraid to enjoy life and EAT!

A couple of weeks ago I went to a local pub with two girlfriends Sandi and Tannia. There just so happened to be a 10 year grad-reunion taking place that night, ya I know, couldn’t have planned that better…I mean how annoying is that! lol The pub was FULL of 28 year olds, and this post was in the draft file. I had to go in…for research! We walked in the door and said “Crap, a bunch of young hot flirty guys, we really should go somewhere else!” We tried to leave but we got all disoriented and couldn’t find the way out…”look something shiny.” There may have been girls there too I can’t remember. You could have called it a cougar buffet. (not that any of us are) Nothing wrong with some good clean fun at the pub, if you’re into that sort of thing. On a serious note we met a few really great guys who entertained us with their wit and charm and have become friends.

I will also go on record right now with saying it has never been a fantasy of mine to be with a much younger man. I have girlfriends who are 25 and 65 and see no reason why I can’t hang out with a young guy who is athletic authentic. No harm no foul! I like being called dude, it’s kinda cute. I do prefer the sound of a low sexy male voice calling me babe, but that’s just me. 🙂

So to conclude this post I will say for me, personally it’s about the guy, not his age. Age for me has absolutely nothing to do with who I chose to spend my time with intimately or otherwise…so if you see me out with a young guy whose half my age plus 7 or a ridiculously handsome sexy older man (wayyyy more likely), you will know without a doubt he has intrigued me with more than his birth year! It’s simply not every older woman’s fantasy to be with a much younger man. Not that theres anything wrong with it! My advice…if you have to hide something you’re doing you probably shouldn’t be doing him it!

 

 

 

Share

Talk-the-Talk or Walk-the-Walk?

Madonna is known for reinventing herself in her career more than once, she changes with the times and still at 50 she is rocking, authentic and true to herself. We can all learn a little from this strong woman who clearly knows who she is and works it! She is open and vocal about some pretty controversial topics. That comes at a price of course.
I had another post ready for today, but seems the timing is off for it so it will have to wait for another time. Enjoy the video everyone!

“The world is full of people who talk the talk but how many of us walk the walk!”

That resonates to the centre of my being at the moment!

“Like It Or Not”

You can call me a sinner
You can call me a saint
Celebrate me for who I am
Dislike me for what I ain’t

Put me up on a pedestal
Or drag me down in the dirt
Sticks and stones will break my bones
But your names will never hurt

I’ll be the garden
You be the snake
All of my fruit is yours to take
Better the devil that you know
Your love for me will grow
Because

[Chorus]
This is who I am
You can
Like it or not
You can
Love me or leave me
Cus I’m never gonna stop
No no

Cleopatra had her way
Matahari too
Whether they were good or bad
Is strictly up to you

Life is a paradox and it doesn’t make much sense
Can’t have the Femme without the Fatale
Please don’t take offense

Don’t let the fruit rot under the vine
Fill up your cup and let’s drink the wine
Better the devil that you know
Your love for me will grow
Because

[Chorus X2]

no no you know [repeat]

I’ll be garden
You’ll be the snake
All of my fruit are yours to take
Better the devil that you know
Your love for me will grow
Because

[Chorus]

no no you know [repeat]

Share

This is who I am…take it or leave it!

I have been questioning my writing style lately, which is really just my opinion but it is also more often than not what’s going on in my life. Not all writers express their true life through their written word, it depends on what type of writing you do. Musicians write lyrics that we can all relate to at some point in our lives, romance novelists take us away from our day to day to live in bliss for a moment suspended in time, bloggers write about what interests them and the list goes on.

I wear my heart on my sleeve and if you look at most of my posts, they reflect just that. Sometimes you may have to read between the lines, I certainly wouldn’t throw anyone under the bus but lately I’ve been seriously considering changing how open I have become. Too late? Better late than never? hmmmm. My quandary!

I’ve been on my own for awhile now, and have considered my writing therapeutic in the process. I have always had plenty of time between relationships in my past and believe its necessary to redefine who you have become before you put yourself back out there. I have recognized some profound changes in who I am and what I think of myself. That alone I think has been worth it!

When you meet someone who you find intriguing, you naturally want to savour the process and take things slow in getting to know each other. Unless of course it’s just about sex, then who really cares about their opinion on…anything! (I’ve not met that guy yet! lol) You don’t just want to put everything out there in one big pile. That is one of the best parts of meeting someone, letting a little bit out each time you’re together. The anticipation of making you wait elevates the excitement!

When I meet someone new the conversation eventually leads to “What do you do?” I suppose I could leave out the blogger part and just divulge that I am a ‘Silpada Rep’ but more often than not without even thinking Tara Cronica rolls off my tongue and I can’t get it back. Too much information is not always a good thing when you want to date someone.

When I started the whole writing process I decided to be an open book with my life, I had nothing to lose. It felt right. Say it out loud and hope for the best! That all seemed fine and dandy when I didn’t care what anyone in particular thought of me, not that I reeeeeally care now but 10% of me kinda does.

Tara Cronica has been my therapeutic outlet, like running but with words. I write, or run, chew on the words or thoughts for a while to be sure their mine, and I usually come up with a solution to my quandary! My solution this time…continue being true to myself, use my authentic voice to share my opinions and thoughts about life and love, don’t create circumstances that go against myself and be open to change.

Bonnie’s Svaha Spirit Series The Power of Vulnerability was the icing on the cake for making me decide to continue down the path I started on…

I will continue to let myself be seen, love with my whole heart, practise gratitude and joy and know without a doubt that I am enough! This is who I am, take it or leave it! 🙂

Share

Authentically Yours,

Our second anniversary slipped past us quietly on the 31st of January.  That was the date our very first post on Tara Cronica went up. January 31st 2009.

No mention; no reflection.  I think it may be due to the fact that we three are all women in our late 40’s and our memories are not that great we are not tied to date watching because we are too busy living in the now and enjoying ourselves so much.  Yep, that must be it. And so it was that our second anniversary came and went without any of us realizing it.

The reason I mention it now is because I have been pondering all the ways this little blog of ours has made an impact on our lives.  Nothing huge, trust me, no big cash windfalls or Oprah invites, but subtle changes have happened for all three of us.  We have learned much about each other and even more about ourselves. And it’s all good.  Even when it didn’t always feel good right away, it was.  It was, because it was growth.

When we started Tara Cronica, we all agreed that the most important thing to all of us was to be authentic.  We each wanted to use our true voice and tell our stories honestly and fearlessly. We wanted to connect with people and create a comfortable “girlfriends chatting over coffee” kind of feel.  No phony vibe, just pure truth.  The word authentic came up time and again in the early days of creating our site.  Our three heads all went up and down in unison; yes, very important that we always remain authentic.

Guess what? It’s not as easy as it sounds.  In order to be truly authentic you have to be extremely courageous.  You have to have the courage to be imperfect. You have to let go of who you thought you should be in order to be who you really are.  How do you do that when you are continually learning and re-learning who you really are?

And more than anything else, you have to embrace being vulnerable.  We live in a culture, after all, where belonging and fitting in and being accepted are critically important.  But if you are going to be truly authentic you just can’t worry about fitting in and being accepted all the time.

Personally, I feel excruciatingly vulnerable when I write. I’m terrified of being poorly judged and I desperately want everyone to enjoy what I have to say.  I don’t want to be ridiculed or mocked and I certainly don’t want to offend anyone by my views.  On the other hand, I’ve discovered that words refuse to flow through me unless I write them from my heart.

For me, the biggest thing I’ve learned over the last two years (besides we should never do our own photos for the site) is that being vulnerable is not so bad.  What’s interesting is the more I embrace it the less of a hold it has on me.  There was a time when I would have been horrified to share bad photos of myself for the world to see, but then I threw a bunch into a post and enjoyed a good laugh at myself.

Through our blogging we seem to be discovering our true selves more and more and shedding our layers of fear.  We are more and more comfortable in, and not bothered by, our imperfection.  Compassion has allowed us to stay open minded while we listen to each others stories without judgment (or the need to correct spelling and grammar).  I believe we have learned to revel in our differences rather than to push against them.

Happy belated Anniversary girls! I look forward to many more.  Stay true! Cheers!

xoxo

Share

What is the point of a blog?

Bonnie Johnson's PostEach of us here at Tara Cronica lately have been hinting either in past blog posts or in our comments that the development of our blog has helped change us in ways we didn’t expect.  Good ways.  I think that it’s due to the process of tapping into creative juices when forced to come up with a new post idea every few days.  It stretches those elastic boundaries, creates colourful commentary and sometimes everything feels aligned.   When you put three women together who are all independent, strong willed and passionate, you are bound to get some interesting results.  We don’t always agree with one another.  I’m sure you don’t always agree with what you read here at different times either.  What I love about that is that we all get a say thanks to the comment section below each post.  And we respect each other and our different views even if we sometimes choose to agree to disagree.

In the beginning we thought it was important to keep everything lovely and uplifting and positive.  We still want that, but we also want to keep it real.  Real isn’t always sunshine and roses.

When the three of us first got together and were brainstorming ideas for this web site the word “authentic” kept coming up.  We all agreed that our writing had to be authentic to who we each really were.  We wanted to encourage other people to feel safe to just be themselves when interacting with us too.  I feel we are staying true to that.  This medium has allowed us to use our voice and by doing so in some cases has allowed us to find it in places we didn’t expect to.  And so we find ourselves constantly changing and growing from the experiences Tara Cronica has introduced us to.  We sprinkle our posts with things and people that inspire us whenever we come across them, we share moments from our personal lives like we are talking to close friends and sometimes we simply talk about what we know for sure…so far.  There are some who don’t understand what the point of our blog is.  Point?  Does there really need to be one?  We love creating our posts for various reasons and it is our hope that all of you  will enjoy our little banter when you choose to visit us.  For me it’s about sharing.  Sharing other sites, books, movies, music, people and sometimes just my own point of view.  This is a blog after all:

Blog is an abbreviated version of Weblog, which is a term used to describe Web sites that maintain an ongoing chronicle of information. A blog is a frequently updated, personal Web site featuring diary-type commentary and links to articles or other Web sites.

Bonnie

Share

What Can Everyone Learn from Gay Pride?

TracyTracy’s Take~

Pride Parade is today in Vancouver!

I think everyone can learn from those who blaze the trails before us.  Gay Pride has shown me that with your voice however small it may seem, mountains can be moved.

When you live your life proud and authentic you are miles ahead of those who judge.  Being Gay has not been an easy path for many.  Those who are Proud of being Gay make me smile. I have never understood how someones sexual preference is anyone elses business but the two who love one another.  Love is love whether it’s experienced with a man or a women.

gaypride

Think of the world for a moment without those who are willing to stand up for the rights of human beings.  These individuals do this knowing they will be judged by many.  They have chosen a lifestyle that is not understood or accepted STILL by many.  I find it heart breaking that there are young souls in the world who are afraid to confide in their families for fear of being shunned and not loved.  No soul should have to endure such conflict just to live their life how they feel drawn to.

I celebrate along side of all the Gays, lesbians, Bisexuals and Transgenders who are living truthfully and are setting examples for those who are not yet ready for that journey.  I embrace each soul I meet with open arms and an open mind.  I accept and don’t judge how each one chooses to live their life.  After all it is our life to live!  We can all learn from one another.  What have you learned from Gay Pride Ladies?

jacquieJacquie’s 2 cents~

This is a bit more difficult for me to answer because I don’t have a lot of first hand experience dealing with prejudice of this sort.  I don’t remember my gay friends in high school being treated any differently from the rest of us and I certainly didn’t see anything hurtful going on.  Was I naive back then and just thought all was okay?  Probably.  It does make me sad to think of what some might have gone through and that they needed more support than was offered at the time.

To me the parade allows young people of every sexual orientations to  see that they aren’t alone and they do have a community that accepts them as they are.  To be honest, I sometimes think it goes a bit too far and becomes more of an exhibition than necessary, but that can happen at a typical Mardi Gras parade as well. Call me a prude, but I don’t think you need to bare your body in order to show your pride.  I think I learn more about the actual issues from watching American politics than I do from the parade,  but it is an excellent platform for many people who would otherwise feel they aren’t given the chance to be heard.  I totally support that.  If the parade can enlighten even a handful of people then it’s a success.  Cheers to everyone participating and attending this year!

Bonnie Johnson's Post

Bonnie weighs in~

I agree that those trail blazers have indeed moved mountains and should always be remembered for their dedication and perseverance.  I believe that is part of what the LGBT Pride Parades are all about as well as a time to celebrate diversity.  The parades send a message for change to those in our societies that still cannot accept all others.  Social acceptance of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender beings is slowly coming but there are still 80 countries in the world where homosexuality is illegal and in 9 of those countries it is punishable by death!

During the holocaust  gay men were marked with a pink triangle and lesbian women were marked with a black triangle for “antisocial” behavior,  rounded up and sent to concentration camps.  In 1969 when police raided the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in New York, the patrons fought back against a government-sponsored system that persecuted homosexuals, and the ensuing riot  has become the defining event that marked the start of the gay rights movement in the United States and around the world.

One of my hopes for the near future is that all communities will accept that all sexual orientation and gender identities have sacred worth and will one day be fully included, celebrated, and affirmed with their chosen faith traditions.  To me, this is what the Pride Parades all over the world hope to teach.

Share