Challenge Me…

intellect

What makes certain men feel the need to challenge the words or actions of the woman they find attractive? It would be so much easier to just go with the flow and agree, let them have their way! If men would simply give us what we want, life would be so much simpler for them…wouldn’t it? I am pretty sure there is a label for that.

Thankfully there are men out there who beg to differ. These intellectuals won’t allow any woman to manipulate their minds, regardless of how well she has learned to bat those lashes. It goes against every cell in their body to let anything slide for the sake of an easy ride. These men feel the need to peel away our layers, exposing our intimate thoughts, leaving us standing naked feeling vulnerable. They want to know what we have deep inside.

When I was much younger I was always attracted to the energy in the crowd who paid little attention to me, a youthful challenge. It was the chase that was the exciting part back then. As I’ve aged and become wiser, a challenge still stimulates my senses but it’s definitely no longer about the chase. It’s about playing for keeps! Whether or not I am challenged intellectually is what keeps me wanting more. Stimulate my mind and my heart will follow.

Every now and then we meet our match. These male energies make us think about what comes gushing out of our mouths. They question who we are, how our brain works and why we believe in certain things. They are not afraid to ask the question and expect an answer. These men make us grow and unfold, evolving within our own existence! They’re not your regular Saturday Night Special! They stand alone and are willing to put it on the table if asked. They have no fear. These men are the risk takers, the seekers of something special. They are willing to go the distance. They want more from us than we are usually willing to give. They are the ones who ruffle our feathers from time to time and make us re-evaluate what we stand for. They know how to encourage us to reach higher.

A man who can make you re-evaluate your doings or simply your words, is a man who isn’t afraid to stand by your side when life gets messy. We all need to be challenged in our lives to reach beyond what we have found comfort in.

Challenge me…

Tracy ~

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Speak the Truth…

I can’t help but admire a man who is willing to take a chance and share his truth. It’s refreshing. I love the male energy as you all know. I have had quite a variety of man-friends throughout my life and love each and every one of them because of how easily they are able to speak the truth to me. They simply are who they are. Our friendships are easy and uncomplicated.

We have learned to sugar coat the truth when it comes to certain topics because lets face it, sometimes the truth hurts. Nobody like to hurt the feelings of another so we mix in a little white lie here and there to lessen the blow. There is a time and a place for little white lies but when it really counts the truth is always best. The truth hurts most when our Ego rears it’s ugly head. If we can ignore our ego we don’t take things so personally. When we step back and view things from a distance without our Ego influencing feelings from our heart, we become more open and honest which leads to acceptance of ones truth. We all have ego’s but if we can keep them in check or ultimately get rid of them life would be much easier.

We have learned over time to add layers to our truth complicating it each time and so it’s sometimes difficult to peel them off and see what really lies deep beneath our coat of social acceptance. I find the truth to be an incredibly attractive quality in a man. It shows he has confidence in who he is and what he wants out of life, essentially giving up control. A man who can speak the truth is allowing things to just flow as they should, not worried about time-lines or selfish needs. He is thinking of the well being of others. Exposing our personal truth makes us vulnerable, especially to those who don’t know us very well, that’s where the confidence comes in. Speak the truth and allow others to decide what they want to do with it.

Words spoken from the heart are raw and untouched not yet influenced social behaviour. They are unique to who releases them. Sometimes the truth hurts, but at least we are given the opportunity to see the real person who speaks their truth which leads us to ours.

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Hello Handsome…

I wrote a post last week called Exploring All Your Senses. I mentioned that sometimes we meet or know people who see us for who we truly are and it’s those individuals who make us strive to be better people. They keep us in check. They are not afraid to call us on things we say or do.

The sun came out this morning almost blinding me as I went through the Tim Hortons drive though to grab a java. I soaked up each ray with a ginormous smile on my face and even said out loud “Hello Sunshine” it felt like spring was in the air. The cashier had an extra big smile when I arrived, saying “your coffee was bought by the gentleman before you…and he was very handsome!” I giggled and said “really?” in my sweetest voice. (I was saying really to the coffee being bought not that he was handsome) I didn’t see him but that’s how she described him! Was it the kind gesture that made him handsome or was it simply his appearance that appealed to the cashier?

Which leads me to the real topic of my post…

So, I apparently describe men I meet more often than not as handsome. (my mind instantly sticks up for me justifying with…”and that’s wrong…why?”) I am only writing about this because it has been brought to my attention on more than one occasion. My initial reaction when it was first pointed out was (I won’t mention her name but she’s known me my entire life) “Well I’m just not going to tell you when I meet someone…handsome” and then the next time by two others (both handsome by the way) I said annoyed in denial “I do NOT say every guy I meet is handsome!” Which lead to a debate…that I sadly lost because of a technicality. I do in-fact describe men as handsome more often than not. One ‘other’ person added that I say “he was actually a really nice guy” but we’ll leave him out of it (he too is handsome!) 😉 HA! How lucky am I to meet so many really nice guys who so happen to be handsome! I know Bonnie is giggling with me right now!

When I describe a man as handsome I think they are but for more than their exterior. You don’t get described as handsome by me just because of how you look. I describe those guys as ‘hot’ (lol) Handsome is much deeper than hot.

I see the eyes first, then smile, then neck, and shoulders, and hands…okay, okay sorry! It’s the warmth that comes from behind a mans eyes that attracts me to him. Our conversation is what makes me want to listen and look longer, if he can make me laugh, bonus! A kind warm open heart is what will get me in the end, not handsome! Throw in intellect and I jump in with wide eyed enthusiasm! That is what makes a man handsome to me. It would have been the kind gesture that made the man who bought my coffee handsome to me. I will admit that when I am with my girlfriends feeling feisty we s-o-m-e-t-i-m-e-s just sit and appreciate the outer shell of men as they stream through the coffee shop because that’s just fun!

So, it may appear to some that I use the word ‘handsome‘ far too often and perhaps I do need to be more specific when describing the really nice men I meet. They are manly, kind, helpful, sarcastic, loving, cute, pleasing, generous, interesting, tempting, irresistibly sexy, alluring, tough, serious, intriguing, talented, intellectually stimulating, hilarious, confident…I could keep going but I am sure you get the point. I may describe men as being handsome but only because it’s a quick way of saying they made me look a little deeper than their surface because of something unique they showed me about who they are.

The man in both the photos I used has been my living example of what handsome truly is. He is my measuring stick, he is my Dad and I think he is the most handsome man EVER to have walked the earth…inside and out! xo (the beautiful woman is my Mom :))

Handsome is as handsome does…Character and behaviour are more important than appearance ~ proverb

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Deal Breakers – What Are Yours?

If you met someone new and were attracted to them physically, what would be a deal breaker for you? I had this conversation with a man who I find attractive…we’ll leave it at that! He was looking at my ears for an extended length of time, which I didn’t notice at first, but then he let the cat out of the bag, big ears are a deal breaker for him! “Seriously” was all I could say, while laughing nervously wondering…”Do I have big ears?” I don’t, but you never know what someone else’s perception is of you.

I’ve learnt as a woman when a man says you have…lets say ‘small ears‘, just go with it. You don’t argue or debate it, you have small ears from that point on for the rest of your life! He also told me a moustache was another one of his deal breakers, phew is all I could think, thank god for tweezers and a 10X10 mirror! I am starting to think it’s very important in your 40’s to date men who wear glasses! You have no idea how tempting it was for me to wear a set of dumbo ears and a black stache when we met for coffee! The stache I can take care of but what if I did have big ears? Would he really not want to hang out with me?

So, having had this conversation, it made me wonder what my deal breakers might be? I say that like I’ve never even had a list! lol I called Bonnie and explained our conversation and said I couldn’t think of mine! She actually laughed out loud and said in a stupefied voice “YOU HAVE TONS!” I replied in denial “I do? I did? I’ve changed!” Hmmmm I guess I have a few but I really have changed over the years and I think some of my deal breakers are now negotiable. I am not looking for a man to have perfect babies with or someone who I will spend the next 50 years with…hang on that’s actually possible, the 50 years part! I am looking for someone who can be themselves around me, who is confident and has no expectations. I’ve learned to accept people for who they are, flaws and all! But I guess we all have things we just can’t get past. If I was really in love and I mean head over heels in love with someone, would I even see what might have been a deal breaker in my past?

I try not to look at what I don’t find attractive as much as what I do find attractive. Having said that, I also know that when someone does something that grates on you, it can be hard to ignore! 🙂 But that works both ways and is where compromise works its way to the surface of any union. Physical appearance is something we can’t always change, so it wouldn’t bother me as much as behaviour in someone. Arrogance for example, is a turn off for me. Sense of humour is a huge turn on. Vulgarity; turn off, chivalry; turn on! Intellect I would take over dumb and handsome every time! Do you see what I mean, it doesn’t have to be a physical deal breaker. I like to focus on the positive, like a man’s hands, hard working hands that can take care of me…sexy. There is so much to love about men, I won’t list all the parts of the body I find attractive, I’ve written that post on my ‘other’ blog…Male Sexy Bits. The bottom line, every man is unique and has attractive qualities. That’s what you should focus on!

I think for me if a man is healthy, and lives by example I could overlook a few things, if he was willing in return. Cause we all know unless you’re willing to turn that magnifying mirror around, don’t go there! If a man takes care of himself and loves himself, and there is natural chemistry between the two of us, I don’t see how I couldn’t fall for him. I look at it like this…If I am going to put my time and love into another human being I want to know that they care about themselves as much as I do.

So I guess my only real deal breaker would be someone who doesn’t take care of themselves in mind, body and spirit. We all eventually pass on, so for me the time we spend here should be cherished, in the moment living life to the fullest, so our time here on earth is well spent! I keep fit for my heart and soul, I eat to live and laugh for mental health! Here’s to the next 50 years, I can hardly wait to meet you! 🙂 (or maybe we already have!)

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