A Feeling…

woman

IMG_0096_3_2Music fills the air as I let go of this world and start my journey into the night. I become weightless as I float gently through an opening in the clouds. I have no conscious thoughts as I free myself of what was and open myself to what is.

Emotions run high as I close my eyes in anticipation and begin to walk slowly up the spiral staircase. I can hear my own heart beat as I go into a deep meditative state. A sense of calm leads me to the wood door I know so well. As I gently place my hand on it, I feel his energy flood the room. He was waiting for me this time. His energy wraps around me, he is home, he is safe, he is pure undeniable love. I see more clearly than I have ever before, yet my eyes are gently closed. Our breath synchronizes, building with each moment. He is warm, the air is cool…a sensual contrast. His strength is more powerful and protective of me this time. He is ready to take the next step. I hear him inhale my essence as he comes close to touching me. His thoughts pure and intimate pull me closer to him with each breath.

I yearn for him to reach out and touch my heart with his bare hands. I need to feel his flesh come alive. Without words, sideway glances, a breath away from our eyes connecting for the first time. I feel him brush against me sending shivers down my spine. I have no control of my movements. He wants desperately for me to look deep into his eyes, I can feel it. I slip back and forth from thought to feeling, unable to see him clearly. Something is coming between us I can’t control. My thoughts overpower my feelings holding my heart at bay. I keep gently slipping away connected by the thread of desire. Desire to feel his entire being collide with mine.

He stands behind me close enough to feel his breath on my neck. His lips graze my cheek. His scent is intoxicating. His hands wrap around me like a force protecting me from the world that surrounds us. I stand in the shadows of my dream not wanting to return, not knowing what will happen next.

The morning air waits patiently for me to open my eyes as I start my decent from the night. A breeze gently blow a wave of emotions across my exposed skin. The moment I am conscious the feeling of his warmth washes over me. My night dream comes rushing back as tears flow down my cheeks, knowing. Laying half naked not ready to open my eyes I relive the feelings from the night. My heart steps back into the shadow as my thoughts wake with the sun.

I can recall the feeling as my memory fades, so familiar it haunts me.

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Texting & Text-ation-ships!

Texting can be exciting, the anticipation is stimulating and it can have sexual undertones that keep us hanging on for more. But if you never progress past the text, in all honesty I think it’s for those who just want to keep their options open. Its like wearing a mask or hiding behind a facade of who you really are.

Lets face it texting can be useful when we need to send a message that doesn’t require a long conversation, ask a quick question, send a funny message to a girlfriend, communicate when talking isn’t possible or the occasional flirt! I have to admit I have been caught up in texting on a few occasions with someone of the opposite sex, but to be honest, lose interest in it pretty quick if nothing materializes or it becomes the main source of how you communicate. I love words and think communication is a lost art, it would be like having to edit this post down to 4 lines, it wouldn’t say what I wanted it to in the end. Some might prefer that when I think about it. Texting leaves too much room for interpretation in my opinion, and it’s easily taken the wrong way.

The younger generation uses texting as their main way to communicate which I just don’t get. What I have a problem with is when texting takes the place of a personal conversation with the opposite sex. Texting is nothing like real life. We are missing out on the key ingredients of human interaction; eye contact, pheromones, body language, touching and everything else that goes along with interacting with another human being. It might initially give us courage to say something we might not have otherwise, but what happens when we are finally standing in front of the person we are interested in and we’re used to thinking about our response for a couple of minutes before pressing send? Then what? Or we can say too much and that can lead to an embarrassing encounter later on. It’s not a natural conversation, not to mention texting makes us sound uneducated. “Ur funny!” I can’t say that without sounding like a hillbilly!

I’ve been caught up in the texting thrill, the sparing of words back and forth and admit it was enticing, but it can also feel shallow. It might get the ball rolling, but I like seeing someone think on their feet when I ask something they don’t expect. Spontaneity is the best! I need to see someones eyes when I am speaking to them!

I have a girlfriend whose son has been texting for many years and he said that he likes the pause between texting because he can think about what he wants to say before sending it. Or he can just ignore the text if he doesn’t feel like the conversation…my phone died, broke, left it in my locker/at work/at home/in the car…what text? Do you see where the problem starts to form. You don’t know if and when the person you are sending a message to gets it? It leaves your conversation either unanswered or lost in cyberspace somewhere. So my conclusion, if it’s important face to face is best, if you don’t care when you get a response, text. Talking in person is hand delivering your message and it just doesn’t get any better than that! It’s honest and real.

I think the reason you choose to have a text-ation-ship with someone is because you’re either intimidated, insecure, nervous, lack confidence or you’re really just not that interested in spending real time with them, so you stay afloat in a text-ation-ship until someone worthy of your time crosses your path.

Texting should be thought of as a simple form of communication that has a time and place in our daily lives.

Happy Texting! Don’t text and drive!

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