Authentically Yours,

Our second anniversary slipped past us quietly on the 31st of January.  That was the date our very first post on Tara Cronica went up. January 31st 2009.

No mention; no reflection.  I think it may be due to the fact that we three are all women in our late 40’s and our memories are not that great we are not tied to date watching because we are too busy living in the now and enjoying ourselves so much.  Yep, that must be it. And so it was that our second anniversary came and went without any of us realizing it.

The reason I mention it now is because I have been pondering all the ways this little blog of ours has made an impact on our lives.  Nothing huge, trust me, no big cash windfalls or Oprah invites, but subtle changes have happened for all three of us.  We have learned much about each other and even more about ourselves. And it’s all good.  Even when it didn’t always feel good right away, it was.  It was, because it was growth.

When we started Tara Cronica, we all agreed that the most important thing to all of us was to be authentic.  We each wanted to use our true voice and tell our stories honestly and fearlessly. We wanted to connect with people and create a comfortable “girlfriends chatting over coffee” kind of feel.  No phony vibe, just pure truth.  The word authentic came up time and again in the early days of creating our site.  Our three heads all went up and down in unison; yes, very important that we always remain authentic.

Guess what? It’s not as easy as it sounds.  In order to be truly authentic you have to be extremely courageous.  You have to have the courage to be imperfect. You have to let go of who you thought you should be in order to be who you really are.  How do you do that when you are continually learning and re-learning who you really are?

And more than anything else, you have to embrace being vulnerable.  We live in a culture, after all, where belonging and fitting in and being accepted are critically important.  But if you are going to be truly authentic you just can’t worry about fitting in and being accepted all the time.

Personally, I feel excruciatingly vulnerable when I write. I’m terrified of being poorly judged and I desperately want everyone to enjoy what I have to say.  I don’t want to be ridiculed or mocked and I certainly don’t want to offend anyone by my views.  On the other hand, I’ve discovered that words refuse to flow through me unless I write them from my heart.

For me, the biggest thing I’ve learned over the last two years (besides we should never do our own photos for the site) is that being vulnerable is not so bad.  What’s interesting is the more I embrace it the less of a hold it has on me.  There was a time when I would have been horrified to share bad photos of myself for the world to see, but then I threw a bunch into a post and enjoyed a good laugh at myself.

Through our blogging we seem to be discovering our true selves more and more and shedding our layers of fear.  We are more and more comfortable in, and not bothered by, our imperfection.  Compassion has allowed us to stay open minded while we listen to each others stories without judgment (or the need to correct spelling and grammar).  I believe we have learned to revel in our differences rather than to push against them.

Happy belated Anniversary girls! I look forward to many more.  Stay true! Cheers!

xoxo

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Svaha Spirit Series ~ True Love

Born on Valentine’s Day it only seems natural that I am attracted to love. Although my idea of love has changed over the years I still believe in true love. I grew up believing that love lasts forever. I still believe true love does. There are three brain systems of love according to Helen Fisher , PhD Biological Anthropologist, lustful love, romantic love and deep attachment love. Love starts out passionately and lustfully, then moving into romantic love, and when you start to feel like you can’t live without someone you have moved hopelessly into ‘deep attachment love’.

When I think about true love I can’t help but have thoughts of my parents, Bob and Jane, who have loved one another since childhood. Their love is not like the love of my generation. Their love is old school. It will undoubtably go the distance. Today is their 51st Wedding Anniversary! They joke about celebrating each year with a moment of silence but I know they truly love one another. They met when they were 12 years old and since then their love has grown far beyond any love I know. They fit into”The Notebook” kind of love for me. I find comfort knowing that my parents have been able to love one another for so many years, unconditionally.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad, I wish you both many more to come.

The video I have attached is all about ‘The Brain in Love’ with Helen Fisher, it’s longish but really interesting to anyone interested in love. Svaha~ ,

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