Hello Handsome…

I wrote a post last week called Exploring All Your Senses. I mentioned that sometimes we meet or know people who see us for who we truly are and it’s those individuals who make us strive to be better people. They keep us in check. They are not afraid to call us on things we say or do.

The sun came out this morning almost blinding me as I went through the Tim Hortons drive though to grab a java. I soaked up each ray with a ginormous smile on my face and even said out loud “Hello Sunshine” it felt like spring was in the air. The cashier had an extra big smile when I arrived, saying “your coffee was bought by the gentleman before you…and he was very handsome!” I giggled and said “really?” in my sweetest voice. (I was saying really to the coffee being bought not that he was handsome) I didn’t see him but that’s how she described him! Was it the kind gesture that made him handsome or was it simply his appearance that appealed to the cashier?

Which leads me to the real topic of my post…

So, I apparently describe men I meet more often than not as handsome. (my mind instantly sticks up for me justifying with…”and that’s wrong…why?”) I am only writing about this because it has been brought to my attention on more than one occasion. My initial reaction when it was first pointed out was (I won’t mention her name but she’s known me my entire life) “Well I’m just not going to tell you when I meet someone…handsome” and then the next time by two others (both handsome by the way) I said annoyed in denial “I do NOT say every guy I meet is handsome!” Which lead to a debate…that I sadly lost because of a technicality. I do in-fact describe men as handsome more often than not. One ‘other’ person added that I say “he was actually a really nice guy” but we’ll leave him out of it (he too is handsome!) 😉 HA! How lucky am I to meet so many really nice guys who so happen to be handsome! I know Bonnie is giggling with me right now!

When I describe a man as handsome I think they are but for more than their exterior. You don’t get described as handsome by me just because of how you look. I describe those guys as ‘hot’ (lol) Handsome is much deeper than hot.

I see the eyes first, then smile, then neck, and shoulders, and hands…okay, okay sorry! It’s the warmth that comes from behind a mans eyes that attracts me to him. Our conversation is what makes me want to listen and look longer, if he can make me laugh, bonus! A kind warm open heart is what will get me in the end, not handsome! Throw in intellect and I jump in with wide eyed enthusiasm! That is what makes a man handsome to me. It would have been the kind gesture that made the man who bought my coffee handsome to me. I will admit that when I am with my girlfriends feeling feisty we s-o-m-e-t-i-m-e-s just sit and appreciate the outer shell of men as they stream through the coffee shop because that’s just fun!

So, it may appear to some that I use the word ‘handsome‘ far too often and perhaps I do need to be more specific when describing the really nice men I meet. They are manly, kind, helpful, sarcastic, loving, cute, pleasing, generous, interesting, tempting, irresistibly sexy, alluring, tough, serious, intriguing, talented, intellectually stimulating, hilarious, confident…I could keep going but I am sure you get the point. I may describe men as being handsome but only because it’s a quick way of saying they made me look a little deeper than their surface because of something unique they showed me about who they are.

The man in both the photos I used has been my living example of what handsome truly is. He is my measuring stick, he is my Dad and I think he is the most handsome man EVER to have walked the earth…inside and out! xo (the beautiful woman is my Mom :))

Handsome is as handsome does…Character and behaviour are more important than appearance ~ proverb

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Red Flags…Why do we ignore them?

Red flags are a warning sign that something’s just not quite right. It’s more obvious than intuition. Intuition keeps us safe (if we listen to it), red flags warn us of a situation that is about to lead us astray. Intuition we feel, red flags we see…but not always! When we do get a glimpse of that little red unsuspecting piece of cloth waving ever so delicately, we tend to turn a blind eye and forget what it stands for. Lets face it, we don’t want to see red flags because they pop our bubble, sending us spinning back to reality! We see them when we don’t listen to our intuition. We are in complete denial at that point. We’ve all seen and ignored a few red flags in our existence, I know I have.

That ominous red flag waves right behind his head but we get mesmerized by his charming smile and seductive eyes, like a dog does when it sees a squirrel, or a child by something shiny! It takes all of a minute to forget about what it stands for. Why do we do this? I’m an intelligent woman but I too have ignored a few red flags in my time! I think sometimes we are enticed by the challenge or blinded by the possibilities. I see the good in people and give them the benefit of the doubt more often than not. Gullible? I’d like to think of myself as trusting, and honest. My motto “Be honest…and hope for the best”, so far it’s working for me. You can’t be faulted for speaking the truth, think of it as character building. Or that it just feels right! (not that I haven’t told a few outright blatant lies in my time, or done a few things I am not particularly proud of (Bonnie shhhhh), I am no angel (cough *wink) but I like to think I am evolving with each life experience!) See “Be honest and hope for the best” it’s liberating really!

When you don’t know someone’s history, you’re playing Russian Roulette when it comes to red flags. I think most women need to see a few red flags in order to pay-attention to them, seeing one just doesn’t seem cut it for most of us! I apparently need to see a few! 🙂

Another reason I think women ignore red flags is because we allow our ego to get in the way of common sense. Ego is a hard thing to keep in check, especially when it comes to the opposite sex. A flash of those pearly whites over the shoulder of another woman...red flag! But he’s sooooo handsome in his uniform! Chances are it’s NOT his sister! Texting you only while he’s at work…red flag! How come it’s not as obvious in the moment, but when you look back it’s so blatant. It sucks when you come to the realization that your first impression isn’t what you thought it was because you ignored the now obvious red flags.

What you have to keep in mind is, we are only in control of our own behaviour and actions, we learn from every situation we enter (hopefully), we should never judge the path that someone else is walking, the truth will set you free (most times lol), try to find humour in everyday happenings, and timing in life is crucial!

I happened upon a site called Heartless Bitches International that has a slew of red flags under their RANTS page if anyone’s interested!

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