It’s Just a Number…Right?

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I embraced yet another Valentine Birthday with every once of my being…sort of! I will admit right now that I have revised this post since it was originally written three years ago…okay 4. I’m laughing as I do. Don’t ask! ¬†ūüėČ

The Big 40-ish…again. “lier” blurts my inner voice!

I have never lied about my age…I’m starting now, don’t judge. Funny with age you don’t feel the need to justify your decisions. I mean really, it is just a number so lets leave it at that! (giggle)

I am not defined by my age so the number doesn’t bother me. Then why not say it out-loud?”¬†questions my deep inner voice. “Get lost, I have my reasons!” I snap back. I didn’t think it would come to this and I am aware of the slippery slope I cautiously approach. I will delete deny any comments if you feel the need to mention any numbers above lets say 42. (think of it as a birthday present to me) Just give me this one! I’ll come around soon I promise!

I like to reflect on my Birthday just as I do each New Year’s Day. I look back and see if the seeds I planted the year before have grown and I decide what I want to plant for the coming year. Milestone Birthdays (not that this is one *cough*) allow us to reflect and follow that reflection to where we are now. It doesn’t get much better than now!

I remember feeling different when my odometer rolled over from the last time I turned 40-ish. “Phft” adds my inner voice! The next day it seemed especially easy to say the word no. Along with the word no came no need to explain why. I felt relaxed with just being around me. I didn’t need outside stimulus to engage me. The voices in my head were engaging enough! “Stop talking I’m trying to write!!!!”¬†

When I turned 40-ish¬†last time, I finally allowed myself to be comfortable in my own sensual glowing skin, more so than in my 20’s or 30’s! I am confident enough to drop my dress in a busy intersection at noon in the winter (bad lighting) if need be…you know for charity or something like that. (I haven’t…so far!) I did however wear a moustache for the day for Movember) I know, not quite the same but a step in the liberating direction!

‘This age’¬†for me is about being comfortable in mind and spirit, I think I have the body loving attitude down to a fine art. I have decided to keep a little more to myself. ( cough *bullshit*) I mean that in a positive way, I am not being cynical. Okay I am trying! I like you are a work in progress! Keep in mind I am an¬†Aquarian…well see if I can last a week! I will set more goals that will take discipline and courage to achieve. I want to stretch the boundaries of my mind that will allow me to reach higher than I thought was possible in my younger years. Funny thing about aging, we become less fearful and more willing to take chances, especially with our hearts! Life is short, and then you die! Lets face it, risk can be exciting! To quote my friend Ryan “What could go wrong?” Live in the moment with no regret.

I have experienced¬†many-many¬†glorious years and look forward to many-many more! I have had a very blessed life so far filled with unforgettable memories of family and friends that will last my lifetime. I continue to learn more about who I am and what I am capable of through life experience. Some good, some not so good, I choose to focus on the good. I have come to the realization that I am a very resilient woman if nothing else! I have grown so much over the years and even in times that my heart aches I have finally mastered…or bachelor’d at least the ability to keep thinking positive thoughts in times that don’t feel very positive.

I feel a sense of calm wash over me as I age and it just feels gooooood! I know who I am and I am not afraid to express it to those who are standing close to me, or far away for that matter. I have become not only comfortable in my own skin but comfortable with who I am intellectually. What I want and don’t want seems so much clearer than ever before.

rose coloured glassesI have learned to have complete acceptance in my life. I walk the walk not just talk the talk. I welcome you into my life unconditionally for how ever long you choose to stay, a day a week a year or hours for that matter, it’s really up to you. I can only be who I am, true to myself, if you fit great, if not it was nice crossing paths and I wish you love on your journey. I have learned to surrender to this. All I ask is that you be as kind to my spirit as I will be to yours! Life is meant to be shared, lived, experienced and lessons are learned along the way.

I still look through my rose coloured glasses from the clouds but I enjoy that view and won’t give that up at any age. I am a dreamer, a romantic and will be until the day I leave this world.

Here’s to aging gracefully, being ((((((((((50-ish))))))))))¬†and proud of it!

 (((((((smile)))))))

 

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Beating for Love ~

 

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When did I stop jumping into love with my eyes wide open, fearlessly filled with passion? Feeling the wind beneath my wings, sweeping me away has become a distant memory. I struggle to extend my arms to reach for his, as he walks toward me with his heart on his sleeve. He is not afraid of love. He too has fought for love and lost but survived.

When did a leap of faith become a fear? When did my heart stop beating for love?

Our heart is not meant to be guarded and held safely behind the walls of our chest. If hurt and pain have brought me here, I have no choice but to put my heart in the hand of the devil and ask my angels for forgiveness. Forgiveness for not opening my heart or scaling my walls in search of freedom, for the pure purpose of love.

I want to care not, where the path will lead, with whom I will walk it and for how long the journey will last. For the details of this are not what’s important, but only that you are willing.

Why do I shy away from the hand that reaches out to touch my soul? When did my heart stop beating for love? When did my heart stop beating for love? When did my heart stop beating for love?

I shall surrender to myself and allow my heart to start beating to the rhythm of love. Love is the meaning of life itself. Love is meant to feed our minds and free our souls. Love is meant to be.

Life flows through our veins allowing us to feel our existence beyond our human flesh. We were created to love. We were created in love. We are love.

Age and Wisdom have brought me here…ready to love again.

Tracy

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Inspiring at Any Age!

Jean-in-Fabulous-Fashionistas

IMG_6140I haven’t had much time lately to take a breath let alone drift off into my own imagination and write, but I did find the time to watch this inspiring video about¬†‚ÄúFabulous Fashionistas.‚ÄĚ It was worth watching and I could relate to each one of these Fabulous women in one way or another!

I have never really had a sense of style. I like classic black or odds’n ends which don’t really match but I like the pieces individually. As a young girl I just wore what I liked, didn’t really think about if they went together. I care not if anyone likes how I put myself together and get ‘the look’ from my daughter regularly. The hardest part of getting dressed for me is finding a shoe that fits, not size just type. This picture cracks me up because I get it! See Jordan, the shoes can be clunky and work! Hey Granny, nice boots! The hair…debatable but again funky, not beige! I will no doubt be sport’n long grey locks at some point in my later years.

This TV Documentary on BBC features six women of advanced years (<~~~~their average age is 80 ~HA!) who share a love for style and a ‚Äúscrew that‚ÄĚ attitude! I don’t share a love for style but sign me up for the “screw that” attitude! Ya gotta love women who become more feisty with age! I love all of these women and their desire to keep going at every age, with no plastic surgery or botox!

Check out the vid ladies…

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Young Man, Older Woman ~

If I’m writing about it I must be living it…right? Not always true but I will admit there is always some truth in what I write. I’ve been known to stir a few pots in my time. Sooooo, keeping all that in mind lets get into it.

Ladies, has it ever been a fantasy of yours to be with a much younger man? Many woman dream of this scenario, as do many young men so I’ve been told. If the two can find one another I imagine it could be quite the encounter.

I look at the whole male energy not just the age. I decided a couple of years ago I was going to experience those who came into my life for who they are, however long they decide to stay regardless of age. I have no expectations of what anything should or should not be in regard to relationships. I refuse to slot anyone because of their age, young or older. Basically, I have no plan.

It’s really all about what your intention is. I have girlfriends who are completely turned on by the younger male energy and those who are equally turned on by the older male energy. Age is just a number and is a general guide as to where someone is in life. There is always an exception to every rule.

I’ve met quite a few younger men over the last couple of years, not sure why but I suppose it could be my age, or simply the energy I put out or just the fact that I’m a flirt. It’s the look behind a mans eyes that initially draws me to him not his age.¬†Not all younger guys are just looking for a¬†quick¬†romp with a more experienced woman. I think the younger men who are not just looking for the older woman fantasy are attracted to a womans attitude and confidence not their age.¬†Younger woman in general don’t seem to be as secure in their own skin which is a shame. I remember feeling like that in my 20’s. I am much more comfortable in the skin I’m in now. Older women generally know what they like, who they are, where they are going and are not afraid to enjoy life and EAT!

A couple of weeks ago I went to a local pub with two girlfriends Sandi and¬†Tannia. There just so happened to be a 10 year grad-reunion taking place that night, ya I know, couldn’t have planned that better…I mean how annoying is that! lol¬†The pub was FULL of 28 year¬†olds, and this post was in the draft file. I had to go in…for research! We walked in the door and said¬†“Crap, a bunch of young hot flirty guys, we really should go somewhere else!”¬†We tried to leave but we got all disoriented and couldn’t find the way out…”look something shiny.” There may have been girls there too I can’t remember. You could have called it a cougar buffet. (not that any of us are) Nothing wrong with some good clean fun at the pub, if you’re into that sort of thing. On a serious note we met a few really great guys who entertained us with their wit and charm and have become friends.

I will also go on record right now with saying it has¬†never¬†been a fantasy of mine to be with a much younger man. I have girlfriends who are 25 and 65 and see no reason why I can’t hang out with a young guy who is¬†athletic¬†authentic. No harm no foul! I like being called dude, it’s kinda cute. I do prefer the sound of a low sexy male voice calling me babe, but that’s just me. ūüôā

So to conclude this post I will say for me, personally it’s about the guy, not his age. Age for me has absolutely nothing to do with who I chose to spend my time with intimately or otherwise…so if you see me out with a young guy whose half my age plus 7 or a ridiculously handsome sexy older man (wayyyy more likely), you will know without a doubt he has intrigued me with more than his birth year! It’s simply not¬†every¬†older woman’s fantasy to be with a much younger man. Not that theres anything wrong with it! My advice…if you have to hide something you’re doing you probably shouldn’t be doing¬†him¬†it!

 

 

 

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It Comes With Age ~

We spend much of our youth searching for someone to spend the rest of our lives with, not realizing that it means a VERY long time. ūüôā That’s right THE SAME MAN FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!! That’s obviously a joke. My Mom and Dad have known one another since they were twelve so I have seen first hand what it is like to spend the rest of your life with someone. I don’t remember any time growing up where I felt like that might change. I admire them both for their commitment and vow they took so seriously, not many do.

When we meet our potential partner in our twenties or thirties we naturally want to take the next step towards marriage so we live with and spend every waking moment together, well not every waking moment, but you know what I mean. We live our lives side by side, some on top of one another and others quite far apart but nevertheless we spent most of our time together.

Then we enter middle age and our kids, if we had any, are growing and entering the same cycle that we have, hopefully with less mistakes and more life experience. We grow and unfold and change in all different directions. Some of us grow with our partners and others grow away from them. Ideally if we have a partner who is our best friend, we can at least maintain the friendship. I have never understood even in my teens why two people can’t remain friends just because as a couple they didn’t work out, with the exception of a wrong doing.

As we age and move into different chapters of our lives, things change, we change. Some of us are faced with moving forward in that next chapter independent of anyone else. I think it comes with age, the understanding that being independent is not the same as being alone. In the evolution of a growing relationship this change doesn’t have to be a negative one. It’s how you perceive it, that counts.

I am independent moving ahead in my life, but I am certainly not alone. What I have learned is that although my relationship has been redefined it is far from over and has an entire future ahead of it that is waiting for me to experience and embrace. So my fairy tale romance may not have turned out traditional like my parents, but it has evolved and reached levels most together couples have never come close to. I wouldn’t change that for anything!

Personal growth is a wonderful feeling when you can accept things and move forward without any resentment or regret. That is the part of being in your 40’s, for me, I love the most. As you age you accept changes you might not have in your earlier years. You smile more, trust your heart, love more deeply and accept the things you cannot change. Sin√©ad O’Connor’s song “Feels So Different” first three lines has stuck with me for year.

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference” ¬†Reinhold Niebuhr

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Conditioning & Learned Behaviour~

TracyA learned behavior is a behavior that was observed by an individual that they find to be beneficial to them in some way.¬† We have all been taught these learned behaviors by our parents, teachers, pastors, councillors or anyone of any influence in our lives.¬† There’s a motivating factor behind it.¬† A reward perhaps.¬† The learned behavior is a conditioned response to a stimuli through either voluntary or involuntary intent.¬† It is some type of action or reflex that you learn. For example tying your shoes, tantrums and interrupting a conversation is a learned behavior.¬† Innate behaviors on the other hand, such as babies sucking their thumbs or crying is something we are born with.

We have developed automatic response to different situations, sometimes reacting because of the way we are conditioned to react.  Not all learned behaviors are negative, but I do think we need to start trusting our own instinctual or innate behaviors a little more.

I think we need to shed some of our conditioning in order to live our most authentic lives.

We are conditioned to get married at a certain age.¬† Not everyone wants to, or should get married.¬† In many countries marriage is still arranged.¬† I think it’s hard finding a partner you could spend the rest of your life with, imagine for a moment your parents picking who you will be with FOREVER!¬†¬† Maybe marriage is not meant to last forever.¬† We are also conditioned to believe the end of a marriage is a failure, when in fact it can be the best decision for both people.¬†¬† I admire those who don’t conform to what society makes them believe is their path because of a preconceived timeline.

Although procreation is an innate behaviour, it doesn’t mean we have to.¬† We are conditioned to believe we are meant to have children after marriage.¬† It is the question every newly married couple gets asked days after they exchanged vows.¬† If we can accept the marriage without the child, then we should be able to accept the child without the marriage.¬† Women are often frowned upon when they consider having a child out of wedlock.¬† We are conditioned to believe you need two parents and although I do think it is much easier and more balanced for the children, it’s not necessarily the norm anymore.¬† Not all couples want children and go through a huge struggle to explain why they choose not to.¬† Just as some women/men choose not to marry.¬† I think those who choose what is best for them see through learned behavior and are living truthfully.¬† When you love someone “unconditionally” it means without conditions.¬† There is nothing better or more pure.

Age also has conditions we need to shed.¬† I don‚Äôt even ask how old someone is because I think age should not be a measuring stick or way of slotting someone.¬† Kelsey was the first to teach me that lesson, she was way beyond her years when she was 8 years old.¬† Age doesn’t no matter.¬† I have a lot to learn from much younger wiser souls while I am here on earth.¬† I am open to all they have to teach me.¬† Older doesn’t always mean wiser, as we are conditioned to believe.¬† It all really depends on the individuals life experience.

Kids don’t even need to leave the comfort of their own homes to learn their behaviors.¬† Television is full of them.¬† Pretty scary when as an adult you are completely aware of what’s out there.¬† Don’t get me wrong there are lots of great television shows out there that are a positive expression of life, you just have to look for them.¬† Kids are watching the drama portrayed in shows and what they get out of it is how they think they should react to a situation themselves.¬† They start to shut off their own instinct of what feels right and by doing this they become conditioned.¬† They have successfully learned their behavior.¬† They have tuned out their innate behaviours they were born with.

We need to shed our conditioning and start trusting our own instincts of how to react to situations that arise.  A positive, open mind and good moral fiber will help us make difficult choices in our path ahead.  Trust your instincts not your conditioning!  Follow your heart and keep a clean conscience and your on the right path to shedding some of the unnecessary conditioning we are all faced with each day.

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Do you ever lie about your age?

Bonnie’s take~

Who me?…lie? No way.¬† I look really really good for 56 years old!

That’s right, if I was going to lie about my age I’d definitely lie up.¬† I recently read about a woman doing just that and I thought “Now that’s the way to do it!”.¬† People will admire how well you’ve aged.¬† Snort!

The last time I lied about my age was when I was not quite old enough to enter a night club. ¬† I borrowed a friend’s I.D. (who looked nothing like me) to show at the door.¬† It worked (obviously the doorman didn’t look very closely) and I was allowed to enter.¬† I was uncomfortable all night waiting to be discovered and then thrown out.¬† I’m not very good at breaking the rules.¬† If the sign says “No Trespassers” then I will not trespass…very willingly…ok, I know some of you reading this have trespassed with me but if you’ll remember, it was your idea and I was not comfortable with it!

Nah, I’m fine with telling the truth about my age or anything else you might ask me.¬† Mind you, I’ve never had to compete with younger women for a job or a movie role.¬† So far.¬† If I’m ever in that situation I may think differently, but then again, lying about your age is only half of it.¬† You have to make them believe it too.

~Bonnie

Tracy’s 2 cents~

Have I ever lied about my age… lately?¬† I can’t remember the last time I did so it must have been quite awhile ago, same as Bonnie back in the 80’s!¬† Actually in Cabo I changed the subject when my age was brought up when a really really young guy was flirting with me.¬† After finding out he lived where I grew up I instantly asked him what his mom’s name was in case I knew her.¬† He lied to me thinking I wouldn’t have spoke with him had I known he was only 27 !!!!!¬† I would have, but I see his point.

Nope, never lied but yes avoided the conversation at times.¬† I have usually been the age I am turning next.¬† Technically when you turn 40 you’re in your 41 st year.¬† I am no longer doing that though, it’s getting kind of scary now.¬† So ya, I guess I’m my 39th year!¬† Again! “OUCH”!

~Tracy

Jacquie says…

I’ve never felt the need to lie about my age in the past but I’m going to start now.¬†¬†¬† Oh, wait a minute, I did tell a bit of a fib when I was 17 and trying to get an agency to take me on in Milan.¬† I decided to say I was 14, as¬† at that time really young models were being celebrated in all the magazines.¬†¬† While visiting one agent he got really disgusted and angry that my parents would allow a 14 year old to travel alone so it kinda backfired on me!¬† I gave up that scheme pronto.¬† (You never knew about that one, did ya, mom?)

I’ve always been comfortable revealing my true age but I just think it’s nobody’s business but my own now.¬† Depends on how the question is asked and why someone wants the info.¬† I know I’ve probably asked a new acquaintance her age just to get a grasp on where she is in life.¬† It can give me clues as to how young she was when she had her kids, how her career has progressed and whether or not she liked Donny Osmond or Bobby Sherman as a teen.¬† Other than that, age is irrelevant.

~jacquie



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Girlfriends Youthful Secrets

Tracy’s take~

As I age it gets harder and harder to look young and fresh.¬† Some days it’s hard to look in the 10X mirror, but I wouldn’t live without it or all hell would break¬† loose!¬† I want to age gracefully!¬† I have been told my entire life I have never looked my age¬† (or was it never acted my age? hmmm)¬† so I guess what I am doing is working.¬† We’re here today to share with you what we do to try to maintain a certain level of youthfulness.

1~ I think you need to start from within, for sure, by drinking water all day long.¬† I don’t know about you but I see the difference in my skin Tracy moisturizingwhen I am not hydrated.¬† It looks similar to an orange peel.¬† Drink water!

2~ I also run and get exercise at least 4-5 days a week.  It gives you a natural glow and brings fresh blood to the surface of your skin so you look healthy.  You feel good which definitely shows in your attitude and you have energized your mind, body and soul.

3~ I ALWAYS take off my make-up before bed and moisturize day and night. I wish now I had listened to the lady in the mall years back when she said make sure you also do your neck…curses!! Do your neck, too.¬† You’ll wish you had!

So Bonnie, what’s your secret to looking so great over the years?

~Tracy

Bonnie’s two cents~

Why, thank you, Tracy.¬† Assuming, as you all now must because you can’t really see me, that I do look good for my age, here are some things I’ve learned:

1~ I recently learned, through my hair dresser (thanks Meeshala!), that I should take about 15 minutes and blow dry my hair properly.¬†¬† What this means is that one hand must pull my hair through a large round brush while the other hand holds the dryer on it.¬† This results in my hair having more body but it eliminates frizz.¬† Wow! I can’t believe how much better I look without the frizz and more importantly I can’t believe I went for so many years not knowing this simple beauty tip.¬† I must have missed that issue in one of my magazines!

2~ Have you ever noticed that older people lose their whiteness?¬† No, they don’t suddenly dance well.¬† The whites of their eyes dull and their teeth do, too.¬† I don’t recommend doing this every day but on special occasions I always use eye drops to brighten my eyes up.¬† I also don’t recommend over whitening your teeth (George Hamilton/Tracy) but I’ve found using a good whitening toothpaste for everyday works well (I use Arm and Hammers Extra Whitening and also rinse with Listerine Extra with Whitenol).

3~ The very best beauty secret I know of is to smile.¬† Seek joy in your life and you can’t help but smile and then you automatically look beautiful.¬† You can’t help it, it radiates out of you.

I know what Tracy means about the neck.¬† We’re now entering the era of…turtlenecks.¬† It will be a little uncomfortable this summer.¬† Whatcha got for us Jacquie?

Jacquie weighs in…

Are you guys for real?!!!!  Seriously?

OK… exfoliation is key, I’d say.¬† At least once or twice a month I strip down to my undies , tie my hair up in a ponytail and roll down the length of my asphalt driveway a few times.¬† Great way to smooth down those rough elbows and knees.

I love going out for sushi and I always ask for extra wasabi (green Japanese horseradish) on the side to bring home.¬† Makes a great toner when my blonde highlights begin to look a bit faded and coppery and a little bit mixed into my foundation and dabbed under my eyes corrects the bluish dark circles I get after late nights boozin’ with the gals.

This last one is my personal fave.¬† I hired a very talented and discreet lighting director to follow me around holding up soft focus gels and filters so that I’m only ever seen it the best possible light.¬†¬† Smoke and mirrors ( slathered in Vaseline, of course) works well, too.

~Jacquie

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