What if God is Testing YOU?

pixiz-31-07-2016-21-37-22I wrote this 6 years ago. I am reposting it because there has been change in the world since this was originally written and the Gay Pride Parade is today in Vancouver and I am a huge supporter of the LGBT community.

When I was on Facebook the other night I read a status update that a girlfriend from high school wrote that really bothered me. Sylvia was defriended after knowing someone for over 30 years, all because she chooses an ‘alternate lifestyle‘ and they choose God. This would be a good time to add, I am a proud supporter of Gay Pride, not because I am gay but because I believe human beings shouldn’t be judged because of their sexual orientation! I have never read the Bible, but I remember saying my prayers as a child. I prefer to take bits and pieces from all different religions, rather than follow just one. I can only give my opinion of what feels right inside my heart. I believe we are all part of a Universal Source of Energy and I try to live by The Golden Rule Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.’ The Golden Rule is not exclusive to Christianity, many religions teach their version of the Golden Rule, it’s such a basic and simple rule to live by.

I love women, but have never fallen in love with a woman in that way so I have no life experience to call upon when it comes to being gay. (well there was this one time in College…kidding, I never went to College lol) I have lots of gay friends whom I love and support for having the courage to live their lives truthfully and authentically. Imagine having to live with a secret your entire life because you fear being judged and isolated from your family and friends. If either of my children told me they were gay it would make absolutely no difference to me, I would love and support them either way!

My vision of being in a female relationship goes something like this…kids would always be clean and well fed, the house would be spotless, laundry would be done, folded and put away perfectly, there would always be wonderful aromas swirling about the house from fresh baked goods, candle light would glow from each room, wine would be chilled just right, oh and flowers, lots and lots of flowers! I could go on and on but I think you get my point! Female energy is so incredibly amazing! Who wouldn’t want that! Personally, I am physically and sexually attracted to male energy. (after that vision I am asking…why? lol) Please don’t judge me all my lesbian friends! 🙂

What if God was testing you, you who believed in the Christian God, who is against lesbian/homosexual relationships? What if he was testing you to see if you would be a follower or leader and take a stand by challenging his words in the Bible. What if God was testing you to see if you could think for yourself? When you think about how long ago the Bible was written, doesn’t it make sense there should be a few things that change with the times? Back in the time of Adam and Eve it made sense that a man and women would naturally be drawn to each other, to procreate, we needed the human race to flourish. Have we not flourished? There are other ways for human beings to have families and offer their love to one another. I think the Bible could use a little tweaking in this case, or needs to be viewed as more of a guideline, not so black and white.

What if what I say has a sliver of truth to it? I suppose you won’t know until you’re at the pearly gates. I believe I will never be judge for being who I am as long as my intent is pure. Why can’t we all just CoeXisT?

Here is the note that provoked this post:

“Sylvia, I am not continuing to have you as a friend on facebook for the following reasons…. While I am commanded to love you/others I am not compelled to condone or accept the lifestyle choices that are being so seductively and many times blatantly forced on our society and are in clear defiance of God’s word. This message is not something new to you but you have not heard it from me personally. There have been some specific message postings on the common wall by yourself and your friends that speak to your opposition of the “biblical definition of marriage” based on your lifestyle choice. I do not believe in the argument you present and this is not open for rebuttal or debate. God loves his creation and His word is crystal clear that He is opposed to homosexual/lesbian relationships/lifestyles. My head is not in the sand but my head is in God’s word. I will continue to pray that God will reveal himself in your life again and that you will see His word for what it is. – B.”

Sylvia stand tall and proud of who you are and continue loving others as you do yourself, by doing just that you will create the change that is needed. I have no specific words for ‘B’ my post is meant for all the B’s in the world! I can’t imagine feeling as though I have the right to judge another human being.

Imagine for a moment limiting yourself from meeting someone who would enrich your existence while you’re here on Earth, all because of a religious belief. This is simply my opinion, it is not meant to offend anyone or criticize the Bible or anyone’s religious beliefs, it’s just my thoughts and my way of saying life is too short “why can’t we all just get along!”

*Silvia, please watch this video, it’s very empowering and makes sense*

Abraham – who is Non-Physical Source Energy as translated by Esther Hicks – responds to a question from a lesbian activist who wants to affect social change in a meaningful “downstream” way.

Abraham: The Law of Attraction and Gay Rights – Esther & Jerry Hicks



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Flirty…Serious…Flirty…Serious ~ Balance ~


If you know me well you know how carefree, flirty and friendly I am naturally. I don’t have to try hard at that part of my personality because I believe it’s just who I am. I have a deep serious side lurking in the darkness waiting to tackle the flirty chic who continues to have way too much fun! TACKLE ME FOR GOD SAKES! I have always found it hard to balance my flirty nature with my serious side. Does anyone else relate? Someone? Anyone?

I struggle at times to find the balance between being serious and flirty, being wayyyy to comfortable with my sexuality doesn’t help. I dislike women who manipulate men with their sexuality, I don’t believe I do. I will however admit I use it, but for no specific reason or outcome just because I love the flirty sparing of words with male energy. It can however get me into a pickle if someone doesn’t know me! I joke about having Elastic Boundaries…s-t-r-e-t-c-h!  What’s a line for if not to cross?…which is fine but not when that side of my personality is predominately focused on. I am working on finding that balance right now…it’s a struggle let me tell you!

I’ve recently been told I have walls I need to take down…ya I know me? Walls? I do! I keep them up to protect my heart. It’s easier to joke and flirt than it is to fail or be rejected. I’ve taken some time lately to make some changes in my life and I am working towards being my true authentic self once again.

What I am seeking has not matched the vibration that I have been emulating. I have finally recognized a pattern that keeps appearing in front of me. A lesson if you will that I keep repeating and not quite getting!

“If you are being swept into some current that is not comfortable, or not in harmony with your desire, you must remember that couldn’t happen if you weren’t offering a vibration that matched it in some way. If you’re vibrating differently from that, you’re not having that experience”~ Abraham

“Offer a vibration that matches your desire rather than offering a vibration that keeps matching what-is.”~ Abraham

So I guess to sum what I am really trying to put out in the Universe is that deep down I know what I want in life and how I want to be viewed and for a brief time I’ve swerved off course. I was still authentic and viewed correctly but it was not a balanced collection of who I am deep down. I allowed myself to put out a vibration that was what I wanted in the moment but not in the big picture. Now it really depends on whether or not I’m looking at the big picture or the moment right here and now. Both are good! I am learning to balance each moment connecting the dots that will eventually lead me right into the centre of the big picture!

Sometimes you must walk down a path to determine what you don’t want, to identify what you do want. Life works in mysterious ways, showing us clues along the way if we are aware enough to pay attention to them!

Maybe I can just be happy with being a serious flirt…for now! Problem solved…movin on! *wink!

 

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Children

James and his mom.

I’m reading Joan Didion’s new book Blue Nights right now.  In it she examines her thoughts, fears and doubts about having children, illness and growing old.  Didion lost her only child, her daughter Quintana, in 2005.  In her book The Year of Magical Thinking, Joan Didion addressed the death of her husband, John Gregory Dunne.  That book was published only months before her daughter passed away at 39 years old. In The Year of Magical Thinking she talks about her daughter who was in the hospital, very ill, on the night Joan’s husband died from heart failure.  I remember the lump in my throat when I read that Joan had to break the terrible news to Quintana more than once that her father had died.  She was slipping in and out of a coma and when she awoke she wanted to know where her father was.  She was devastated by the news of course, but then would slip back out of consciousness and not remember any of it when she awoke the next time, so poor Joan had to explain it all to her again…and again.

When I finished reading The Year of Magical Thinking I so hoped that her daughter would recover and mother and daughter could be there for each other to lean on and for support.  So, when I was finished reading the book, I Googled “Quintana Roo Dunne” and there it was.  Real life doesn’t always offer a happy ending and sometimes it kicks you hard when you’re down.

I’m still reading Blue Nights and so far it has really got me thinking about my own son, James, and also my step children and their relationship with their father.

I want to share some lines from Blue Nights that really struck a chord with me:

When I began writing these pages I believed their subject to be children, the ones we have and the ones we wish we had, the ways in which we depend on our children to depend on us, the ways in which we encourage them to remain children, the ways in which they remain more unknown to us than they do to their most casual acquaintances; the ways in which we remain equally opaque to them.
The ways in which our investments in each other remain too freighted ever to see the other clear.
The ways in which neither we nor they can bear to contemplate the death or the illness or even the aging of the other.
As the pages progressed it occurred to me that their actual subject was not children after all, at least not children per se, at least not children qua children; their actual subject was this refusal even to engage in such contemplation, this failure to confront the certainties of aging, illness, death.
This fear.
Only as the pages progressed further did I understand that the two subjects were the same.
When we talk about mortality we are talking about our children.
Once she was born I was never not afraid.
I was afraid of swimming pools, high tension wires, lye under the sink, aspirin in the medicine cabinet.  I was afraid of rattlesnakes, riptides, landslides, strangers who appeared at the door, unexplained fevers, elevators without operators and empty hotel corridors.  The source of fear was obvious: it was harm that could come to her.  A question: if we and our children could in fact see the other clear would the fear go away? Would the fear go away for both of us, or would the fear go away only for me?

Every time I read those lines I cry. I’m not sure why, but I do.  I think it may be the truth in them.  The truth that we cannot see the other clear and that we remain so unknown to each other.  I am also a daughter and know from that perspective that this is true.  And the fear.  The fear never goes away. I guess I cry too because when my own son was small I knew him so well…but that time was fleeting and has long since passed by.  My husband feels the same way about all of his children.

You are joy, looking for a way to express.  It’s not just that your purpose is joy; it is that you are joy. You are love and joy and freedom and clarity expressing. Energy—frolicking and eager—that’s who you are. – Abraham

That’s how we remember our children – when they were small; that’s who they really were and indeed still are deep down, in fact that is who we all are …deep inside.  Fear pushes it back and then we forget entirely who we truly are anymore. I feel the loss of those early days and I suppose that is also what makes me cry when I read those perfect lines written by Joan Didion.

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My Happy place ~

Where is your Happy place?

Tracy Tracy’s trying real hard to get there~

Have you ever felt like you just wanted to escape from life in general, if even for a moment!  You try desperately to tune out everything and everybody around you.  You start to day dream of where you would much rather be ….it’s called your “Happy Place. It’s the mental state achieved when one wants to avoid the unpleasant or uncomfortable.  Everyone has a different  happy place that usually consists of the things that make them feel warm and fuzzy.

Ahhhh My Happy Place…I have been trying to get there lately but it’s been like a bad dream, your running as fast as you can but you are moving in slow motion!!  I have been literally running from one task to the next with absolutely no time to spare between for the last month and it is starting to take it’s toll.  The balance in life can sometimes get away from all of us and I will go on record right now and say mine is OUT !!  It is my own fault, I take on too much, have too many interests and my independent attitude doesn’t help!  I have wayyyyy too many cool things I want to be working towards, Tara Cronica, Writing a book, Kids, Silpada Jewelry, Exercise, Running a business, Girlfriends, Making Jewelry.  The list keeps growing !  I am taking a breath now~Rarotonga

My Happy Place consists of me sitting in a white wooden chair on the beach in Rarotonga, The Cooke Islands, completely alone with no one in sight.  There is a panoramic view of just water, sand and palm trees as far as you can see.  My chair is in the water so that my feet feel the warm waves slowly roll over them.  I have no where to be, nothing to do but sit and contemplate.  I have my ipod and I am listening to Enya or Enigma while my mind just goes far far away.  I have been to My Happy Place in reality, and it was such a serene wonderful place to be.  If I could fly there right now I would board the plane with no luggage, just the cloths on my back.  When you have so many things on the go it’s not hard to have your world start to spin in circles.  I need to take a chill pill and really try hard at least in my mind to get to my Happy Place!  Wish me luck !

Bonnie Johnson's PostBonnie aligns herself~

I have learned that when I find myself out of my “happy place” it is always because I’m out of alignment.  What does that mean exactly?  Well, for me it means that I’m not tuned in to Who-I-Really-Am; that bigger part of my Self that is connected to Source (God, the Universe, Allah, whatever label you choose).  The disconnect happens when I’m not aligned with that source of joy and inspiration (which is, in fact, our natural state).  It’s easy to let myself slip out of alignment, all I have to do is focus on something negative or something that makes me feel bad and then I see some more stuff that makes me feel bad and then I notice something else negative that I hadn’t noticed before,…and so it goes.

So here’s a 30 minute energy-alignment I learned through the teachings of Abraham and the Law of Attraction series that really works for me.  I’ll just rename it “How to get to my happy place” for this post.

  1. Start the night before:  As you put yourself to bed find things in your immediate vicinity (your bed, your pillow, your sheets) to direct your appreciation toward.  Set your intention to sleep well and to awaken refreshed.
  2. When you wake up lie there for 5 minutes and think about some more things you appreciate.
  3. After you’ve washed and eaten, sit for 15 minutes and quiet your mind.  Allow resistance to fall away and feel your vibration rise.
  4. Open your eyes and sit for 5 or 10 minutes writing a list of things you appreciate about your life.

That’s it.  30 minutes or less and I’m feeling good again.  It’s all about choosing a positive point of attraction which not only yields to me activities and rendezvous with good feeling people, places, and things – but my ability to experience the delicious depth of them will be dramatically enhanced.  “Getting yourself feeling good before you take any action is always the best process; and when you do not feel good, you cannot be inspired to any action that will solve the problem”. – Abraham

happy face

Post Insert JacquieJacquie knows it’s right where it’s always been~

I think I discovered the secret to my happy place a long time ago when I was a typical angst-ridden emo 17 year old living in Paris and dealing with loss, loneliness and betrayal.  I spent a lot of time writing poetry…and teaching myself how to knit and crochet and design my own pieces.  By focusing my attention on something positive and pleasurable, I found I was able to let go of the issues that were the cause of my unhappiness. For me, being actively creative is a form of meditation, and it allows me to stay connected to my true Self by providing plenty of time for reflection.   This is the poem I wrote as a melodramatic teenager. I think the sentiment, though perhaps a little over-wrought, still rings true.

I hate to look forward
Because all I see is pain
And pressure and loneliness
And a hurt I can’t explain.

I’m living in a fairy tale
Without the magic wand.
This one’s filled with blackened dreams
That I can’t see beyond.

So by myself I’ve learned to move
And pass my time with me
When those around are cruel and dark
I’m my best company.

We are responsible for our own happiness.  It’s up to us individually to find out the best way to stay in tune, or, as Bonnie put it, stay in alignment.  The only way to do this is to regularly shut out all the noise that can cloud your judgment and distract you from your goals.  When you feel that confidence returning, only then can you feel balanced and ready to tackle the next hurdle calmly, with a smile and an open heart.

Svaha,

jacquie3

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