The Truth About Your Age

Bonnie's PostThis post is really a follow up to a team post we did a couple of weeks ago called “Do you ever lie about your age?”.  In this post we all seemed to agree that lying about your age was not necessary.

While surfing the net I found the following interview.   I decided to share it because I’d love to hear your point of view.

Click here to view video!

As I listened to 35 year old Evan Marc Katz say that he “feels people are lying because they are insecure and think that telling the truth won’t get them in the door”, I thought “how sad”. But is there some truth to what he is saying?  I’m afraid there probably is.

Now I’ll share a dirty little secret with you about my own shallowness.   (No Tracy, not that secret!)
When I met my now husband (who is 13 years my senior) I was 34.  I was completely taken with him in every way and although I knew he was older than I was,  I wasn’t exactly sure just how much older.  I was afraid to ask.   I actually thought “Oh please don’t let him be 50, pleeease don’t let him be 50!”   The number 50 just seemed like it would be too big of a gap for me.   He could read my mind even at that early stage and turned to me on our second date and simply said  “47. I’m 47.”   Phew! He made it by a measly 3 years!  There was an “acceptable” 13 year difference rather than an imaginary “unacceptable” 16 year difference.    If he’d said “50. I’m 50.”  I know I wouldn’t have said  “Stop the car, I’m getting out!” but I also know I would have felt uneasy about such a big “gap” in our ages.   Don’t forget this was when I was just getting to know him.   It all seems so ridiculous to me now.  Also, I  appreciated his honesty.

So what’s your take on all of this?  Embrace it!, or lie about it to “get in the door”?



  • tracy westerholm

    I couldn’t agree more with the not lying about your age. I am proud of being 36 years old and embrace it!! Awesome post and point taken Bonnie! How old are you again ? T xo muah

  • anne

    Been having this HUGE debate with friends lately!!

    I am proud of every year I’ve lived, and how it looks on me, but sadly in my experience, ya gotta lie* (by omission) across the board.
    Ageism is real! I agree with the dating expert – and Bonnie. I don’t want someone’s preconceived notions, based on a silly number, to impact the judgments people make about me in any way. I’m just not willing to sacrifice my own opportunities toward the eventual greater good of womankind. sorry!

    * I have a friend who refuses to answer the question. she just smiles and politely changes the subject. If someone presses her, she simply states that that is a personal question she doesn’t answer. I have seen this a few times, and i gotta say, i admire her for it. (BTW – i found out through her mom years later, that she is several years younger than I. She is in a very competitive field and does so to ensure she is respected for her ideas, not dismissed for her youth.)

    Tho old expression isn’t “Thy must lie about thine age” …heh heh

    It’s something like “one never asks a woman her age” …right?

  • tracy

    But what if hypothetically speaking of course he said he was let say 21 when you were 34 ? Thirteen years in the ‘other’ direction? Would you have considered him for a relationship? What would have been the cut off age for you in that situation? I was just wondering if there is an ‘official’ cut off? I guess my question is what is too young and too old or does it matter? I feel a post coming on here…..hmmmm

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