Sibling Love
I was an only child until I was ten years old. I have never known what it is like to have a sibling close to your own age to fight play and share a history with. I’ve always loved my brother, don’t get me wrong, but because of the age difference I tended to act like his second mother most of the time. Poor kid.
So I always believed when I grew up I’d have at least two kids, maybe even a few, but that was not to be in the cards for me. I was blessed with one son and I was perfectly content with that.
I remember going to see a psychic after I had become a single mom. She told me I would have four kids one day. “Ha! What a crock!” I thought.
Well, it turns out she was right. (It’s spooky how many things she got right actually) Through marriage I was blessed with three more great kids…all grown up by that time but they are my step children regardless. And when you do the math it means I know have four kids.
All those years ago I remember wishing hard that my husband’s three kids would not only accept my son with open arms but truly develop a special relationship with him so that he could really experience being a “brother”. This isn’t something that you can force however, and so for all these years I’ve watched quietly as they have become acquainted and developed their own special bonds.
My husbands beautiful daughter, Lisa, never lived near us in the early years and in fact lives on the opposite coast even now. Distance combined with a large gap in age; you can understand how these two would not be close. But a funny thing has happened. Both Lisa and James find themselves in the same city often. They both are missing family. They have been getting together quite often lately and have discovered they have some things in common. They were both raised by the same father for starters.
My heart swells when I hear stories from each of them about the fun they are having together and the closeness that has developed between them. So this is what it is like as a mother to see your children hug each other. What a great feeling! The only thing I’m missing is a recent picture of it. Just putting it out there…
7 Comments
jacquie
Oh Bonnie! What a wonderful post! I’ve always said that proof of great mothering is when your kids all grow up to like each other. For some reason this has always been really important to me, moreso than having them like me! You can’t force relationships, like you said, they just evolve naturally. You hear so many stories of step siblings having resentments, jealousies, etc, that it’s so fantastic to hear a success story. Clearly your husband’s kids had terrific parenting from the beginning.
I know that ‘heart swelling’ feeling of which you speak. It’s pride, joy and love and satisfaction all mixed up together. It’s knowing your kids will be alright on their own and that you’ve done your job. It’s peace of mind.
Wonderful read first thing on a weekend morn with a hot latte!
Rick
This is awesome Bonnie !
Everything you write tells me you wear your heart on your sleeve and you are not afraid to let that be known. Very special to see your love for your child is no different than your love for your step children ( who are really your children ) I only had one sibling and she has been gone now for a very long time. I know that I look to the relationships of my own children to fill the void. It’s so special to see them love each other as they grow …. considering the time I have spent watching them be mean to each other over the years. This is a wonderful article !
Thanks Bonnie !
Bonnie Johnson
Thank you Jacquie. You said it perfectly when you said it’s pride, joy and love and satisfaction all mixed together. That’s it exactly isn’t it. 🙂
And thank you too Rick. I love that you are reading us on the weekends now as well!
Tracy Westerholm
Love this post Bonnie it proves that family today has changed but the basics are the same and that is a bond and connection that takes place regardless if you were born in the same house or not ! Who are the kids in the top picture? Brad I think is throwing me off? Love you ! xoxox
James
And here I thought I was a strong, emotionally stable guy that doesn’t tear up at movies or while reading books, but way to go mother dearest you got me blurry eyed in my schools library in front of a few people I know and a plethora of gorgeous girls. perrrrrfect. anyway awesome post mum , you stun me with your abilities as a writer, the person that you are, and how great you are as a mother to all of us. I don’t know how you do it but you’ve managed to keep your cool (most of the time) with dealing with me all my life and you’ve always been the person I can turn to whenever I need advice, a laugh, or anything. keep doin’ whatcher doin’
love you
Tracy Westerholm
Awwwww now that just made me misty eyed ! You’re such a good boy lol ! I just melted so I can imagine what your Mom did ! I hope Jesse turns out just like you . Not ready yet for the big boy stuff yet but will be when he is your age. Seeing what an incredible person you are I have no worries! We miss you ! A~T xo
Janet
My older sister and I have 2 younger siblings, my sister is 9 years younger, and my brother 11 years younger than I. I found that once they got in their early 20’s we started to have more in common, and less ‘mothering’ on my part.
It is great that your kids spend time together, and as a parent – what a great feeling that is knowing that they ‘like’ each other. Updated photos are always a must though!