Here’s the Wikipedia explanation:

Polyamory (from Greek [poly, meaning many or several] and Latin amor [love]) is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate sexual relationship at a time with the consent of everyone involved.
Polyamory, often abbreviated to poly, is sometimes described as consensual, ethical, or responsible non-monogamy.

How do you feel about this girls?  Could you ever imagine yourself in a polyamory relationship?

Bonnie ponders poly~ I had never even heard the term “polyamory” until last weekend when I watched an episode of 16:9 on Global which covered the topic.  As I watched I thought, “Wow, how exhausting”.  The lifestyle takes a lot of time juggling and from the outside looking in, appears to be a real balancing act.

The program interviewed Terisa Greenan who has created a web series called “Family” which is loosely based on her own polyamory lifestyle.  Terisa has three men that she is in a loving relationship with and one of those men has a wife who is also the girlfriend of one of the other men…in the same relationship.  Are you confused?  I know it’s a little hard to wrap your head around.  They all seem to be happy and handling it with ease.  I don’t see a problem with any of it if all parties involved are happy.  Truly happy.  I just know, without a doubt, that I would never be happy in the same type of relationship(s).

I was an only child until I was ten so perhaps because of this, I simply don’t share well.  I know for sure that I could never share my man with another.  Ever.  Personally, I love to be the center of his attention and I love that my husband is the center of my world in our monogamous relationship.  I know the word monogamous itself sounds close to the word monotonous, but there is nothing boring or tedious about our relationship and so we are very happy the way it is.  I can’t judge what a polyamory relationship feels like, never having been in one, but I have a hard time imagining that you could have the same intense feelings for more than one partner at the same time.  I know love is supposed to be without boundaries and all that, but I don’t know…

Apparently there is an estimated 1% of our population that are now living in a polyamory relationship.  That would mean 332,126 people in Canada are poly.  And I’d never even heard the word until recently.  Huh!  Agree with the lifestyle or not, I just hope the rest of us can be tolerant and accepting of their choice.

Jacquie leaves no doubt where she stands~ I’m not even going to try to sound like I think this is a good idea.  If people really could work out a way to be in a committed physical relationship with more than one person then the whole movie industry, romance novel buying, Jon & Kate plus 8 watching, Perez Hilton gossip following, soap opera fan-based populations of the world would all be a bunch of hypocrites!  We are programmed to be jealous creatures and possessive about our mates! That’s why the majority of the world takes such an interest in other people’s relationships and are so fascinated by romantic love gone bad.  We hunger to see two people fall in love and live happily ever after because we want to believe it’s possible for ourselves.

Don’t yell at me through the monitor yet.  I’m not saying we have to act in erratic, jealous ways, but for the most part when you know your man isn’t loving only you, it feels like crap.  It hurts like hell, in fact.  I don’t care if you muddy the waters by using terms like ‘consensual’ or ‘responsible non-monogamy’ it still means someone isn’t getting the undivided attention from the person they love.  I would like to know the statistics on polyamorous groupings and how long the relationships last.  My bet is they don’t, but if someone wants to challenge me, then fine.

I’ve known a few women who have consented to including another person into the relationship.  In both cases it was because they felt bullied and it was a last ditch effort to save their marriages.  Did it work?  Hell, no!  Can it work for some people?  Hey, to each his own.  Just call it what it is; enjoying your sexual freedom without commitment.  It’s a relationship based on sex and not love and personally, I can’t see that working as a long term lifestyle choice.

Tracy considers the possibilities ~ I choked and then laughed out loud when Bonnie first told me about this topic.  I think the first words out of my mouth were “SIGN ME UP!”.  Okay, the second words out of my mouth, but we’ll leave it at that.  First reaction, if no one gets hurt and everyone is honest, (in southern drawl) “Well why not!”  Trust and truth are the most important parts of a relationship so if you have both of those and can make it work all while adding a partner or two, whose to judge.  Never say never and don’t knock it till ya try it, right?

I have been exploring my sexuality lately and, as you all know, I don’t keep much to myself.  Well, I do but those topics are off limits.  I have written about being a cougar, being single, friends with benefits, flirting, cheating, dating, sex and the attraction to married men etc, etc.  It’s all in the archives.  I had not heard of Polyamory before last week or knew this was an option couples actually considered.  What courage it must take to start that conversation!  You have to at least give the couples who venture into this credit for their honesty and acceptance of their love for more than one person.  Authentic living with no regret?  Or are there?

I used to believe there was only one person meant for each of us for life, but that was a fantasy world I lived in for decades having parents who have been together since they were 12!  Ya I know, I think it can still happen but not very often.  I do believe you can be in love with more than one person,  but personally I would have to experience one at a time.  I don’t judge anyone’s situation because if it works for them that is all that matters.  I originally thought, it beats a boring and mundane sex life but it’s not about the sex.  It’s about relationships and love.  It is about intimacy and sex too but focuses on the relationship side.  That is the biggest misconception.  The alternative I suppose would be an affair which involves cheating and adultery followed by a truck load of guilt so I guess if you and your partner were headed down that path why not be open about it. Although an affair is usually about the thrill of the chase and the secrecy of the entire relationship and is mostly about the sex, not always, but generally speaking.  You would have to be a very secure, open minded person to even consider this kind of relationship.

I am way to much of a hopeless romantic to ever want to share my man with anyone.  I want a man who just can’t get enough of me and only me for as long as we both shall decide.  It doesn’t have to be forever, but I would like him all to myself.  If my man wanted to share me with someone else then he’s not the one for me.  I have a very open mind and attitude but when it really comes down to it I’d prefer monogamous relationships.  Monogamy can be hard for everyone but if you really love someone and work hard to keep your partner intrigued and sexually satisfied I see no reason to have to go elsewhere.