To say, kids who get spanked go bad is ridiculous. I know many people myself included who were subject to such treatment, some by loving parents who used it wisely and those whose parents had no control. Most of them are fine and living decent lives. Some chose to continue the practice and others feel they should not.

No one thing we do ever pushes the balance one way or the other. Experiences in a vast shade of different lights effect us and without realizing it we take what we want and make ourselves what we believe we should be.

I feel spanking should always be a last resort, a punishment your child should fear to have to endure. Children are an open box and do not have the wisdom or smarts most times to make rational decisions. Part of the fun of being a kid.
They need guidance, and yes discipline. What from that takes is at the discretion of a parent.

I watched my son take an I.Q. test, and let me tell you, some of those questions would have thrown me at 4yo……especially with a great sunny day and a room full of toys……3 new ppl I don’t know hovering over me….and no nap at my normal naptime….. I.Q. tests are not the end all when it comes to knowing what is right for your kids….the better thing to look at is this: When I discipline my child is it in love or in anger?

These questions can help you determine which is the driving force:

1) What was the infraction?
2) Have I explained this as inappropriate behavior before?
3) Was the act deliberate?
4) Have I disciplined for this before (i.e. punishment, time-out, taking things away)?
5) Have I exhausted all other resources?

All of these questions are those you ask yourself when you’re cooling down a bit .

What upsets me is this: how many kids are in foster care, how many kids are abused (really abused….not spanked in love), and why the heck are so many people focused on numerous save the animals campaigns when the prisons cannot handle the number of human abuse victims as is? Animal abuse would stop if HUMAN abuse stopped…many of those who torture animals were abused and troubled kids :-/. If we as people and neighbors were any good at this whole community thing, we would act as though it takes a village to raise a child instead of every parent being on the island of parenthood on their own. If a neighbor helped that single mom who is at her wits end, if many churches acted as church and not a reservoir for ppl who claim righteousnesses with no community outreach, or a successful mentor went back to his humble beginnings to inspire those with less than they have, things would change. Why can’t churches act like who they are supposedly serving (Jesus) and go out to save that which was lost? But everyone is all about ME & MINE. If fewer ppl had that mentality, the murder and suicide rates wouldn’t be so high. You’re helping yourself when you help someone else.